Holding a grudge against my boyfriend for saying this about my mother?

[Anonymous]

We are both adults, we’ve been boyfriend girlfriend for now 4 years on the 2nd or 3rd year of us being together I made the mistake of opening up to him about WHAT my mother has said to me in concern of him and how guys mostly from where he is and how theyr raised etc that they are irresponsible, can leave a woman no problem, cheat, can just pack up and leave etc. my mother was telling me her concerns and I made the mistake of telling him. HE THEN CALLED my mother a cave woman. I said why are you insulting my mother he said that’s not an insult she’s just a cave woman. And called my country backwards. On a different occasion.

He is respectful and nice generally but from time to time this Haunts me. And I can’t help but to wonder to my self what would happen if I say that about his mother? …

Was it an insult in your opinion?
Should I forgive, forget, and let it go?
What do you think?

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

What he said was totally wrong and you will not forget what he said but you may forgive him I'm from America and totally respect other people's culture/race, etc. I could never talk bad about a girl's mother if I had a girlfriend now I had an ex-girlfriend who came back to tell me bad stuff her step-dad was saying about me

[Кураж]

It doesn't haunt you that your mother is a prejudiced bitch though?
Why are you ok with her being disrespectful towards your partner?

His reaction seems entirely justified to me, you are siding with the wrong party here.

[Asker]

She had a point it is common where he’s from. He says so as well. She was sharing her concerns generally and asked me to be careful and know him better. She has a heart of gold and after knowing him she liked him a lot. You’ve no right to call my mother that! You don’t know her, me or the whole situation. You are incredibly disrespectful and offensive. I asked for help and an opinion not to have my parent be cussed at. Grow up.

[SnakeBoop]

I think the growing up needs to be done by you, "littlelady050".

[Кураж]

No, she didn't have a point, nor does she have the heart of gold.
She was making unsubstantiated judgements about your partner on the basis of prejudice.
Your boyfriend was in his right to get offended because your mother was being disrespectful towards him.
What you should have done is tell your mother that she has no right to make such judgements about your boyfriend.

Perhaps you come from a culture where prejudice is ok and where parents can do no wrong, but I would tolerate neither and neither should your partner.
I'm going to echo SnakeBoop in that I hope your boyfriend finds better than you.

[SnakeBoop]

Your mother was literally disrespectful of him too. So if you're going to bitch at him for saying "she's a cave woman", remember to bitch at her more.

[Asker]

So even though he said it wasn’t an insult it really was?

[SnakeBoop]

it literally wasn't ANYTHING.
I hope your boyfriend finds better.

[Danny_dan92]

If it bothers you this much, break up. It’s that simple

[KrakenAttackin]

I don't think he needs forgiveness as he was probably speaking the truth.