Do You Think That People Who Use Other People Feel Good About Themselves?

[Anonymous]

I'm sure most of us have been used by another person to some degree. I've been used and it doesn't feel good and it left scars. Do you think people who use other people feel good about themselves?

[caring__1]

People who feel a need to step on others to rise upward don't feel good about themselves. Their actions may give them a tease of what they hope to feel, but it doesn't last. Therefore, they continue the behavior in hope the results eventually stick.

Our self-esteem is totally based on challenging ourselves and gaining a sense of accomplishment. That can never be achieved by using others rather than relying on our own abilities. No handout we receive from others will ever help us feel better about ourselves.

[Nidal_AA]

Im pretty sure they feel careless... Maybe they dont even realize if you know what i mean

[Asker]

Are you saying that they could care less if they are using people? It means nothing to them, so it doesn't have an effect on how feel about themselves?

[Nidal_AA]

1st of all its just my way of seing it, it dosent mean anything...
But yeah i think they dont really care and they are not actually intending to use people... They just do whats better for them (could make them feel bad later) but yeah they dont care

[Asker]

I guess ignorance is bliss. I see people (men and women) using the opposite sex and not caring. They must not realize there are feelings involved. Or they just don't care. I'm guessing that if they knew feelings were running deep they wouldn't do it. So ignorance is bliss.

[Nidal_AA]

Ignorance is a perfect word to describe what i meant... and yeah i agree with you... Not many things feel worse by beong used... It dosent just mean that the one that used didn't really care about any feelings but also prefered to please someone else on your behalf... but yeah im guessing life is life

[VanityFair888]

I don't think that deep down they feel good about themselves. On surface it might seem that it makes them feel good though, and some people even flex with that.

[Asker]

That's a good point. On a side note, I wonder if the person (male or female) who accepts gifts from the opposite sex, even if they aren't interested in the person, are aware that feelings are involved. Or even if they care. They are using that person for the gifts and favors they are receiving.

[VanityFair888]

That's the case too and of course they know about it.

[Asker]

@vanityfair888
I have a friend, who is 27-years-old, and very attractive. She accepts gifts and favors from men even though she isn't interested in them. She tells them she isn't available. I asked her why do you think they are giving you these gifts and favors and not the unattractive women? She said she is young and still learning about herself and life. So, do you think there might be people who are naive and don't know about it?

[VanityFair888]

She might be so used to attention that she receives it as something usual and doesn't think much about their actions. But she does tell them that she is unavailable so if they keep giving her attention and gifts, sounds like their problem not hers

[Asker]

So it's true that "ignorance is bliss." She's not aware that these men have feelings for her because she has received attention all of her life. If she was aware that these men have feelings for her she wouldn't accept the gifts.,

[VanityFair888]

I guess so. Still that doesn't make her a bad person

[Asker]

I wonder in the case of "ignorance is bliss", even though it doesn't make her a bad person, it doesn't mean that, what you originally posted, "I don't think that deep down they feel good about themselves." So a person can use other people, and still feel really good about themselves.

[Effably]

Some feel guilty of course. However the human capacity for internal gymnastics is and always has been impressive.

So realistically most times I think we, as people, just explain it away and leave any guilt behind.