I'm in love with two guys, what do I do?

[confusionadndelusion]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years. He has not always treated me well throughout the relationship and sometimes, our basic values don't align. The relationship was not always healthy either (partially on me). Eventually, I gave up and broke things off so we could grow on our own. But we have a non-refundable trip soon and are staying in contact until then, so we decided on a break. In this time, I reconnected with a childhood friend and really clicked with him. He likes me a lot and I really like him but he can't commit to a relationship with me, just sex for now (We haven't hooked up yet but we are definitely interested in doing it and have spoken about it many times. And I have a feeling a relationship will progress because he asked me to meet his parents and friends) while my ex wants to get back together. I'm afraid things won't change with my ex from the last time and the relationship will just be the same again (this is our second breakup to work on ourselves too). Either I pick my ex, who'm I genuinely still love and care for but feel no passion or spark for and close the door to a potentially really amazing new spark. OR, I give up on my ex despite our time together and pick the "new" guy who I've fallen hard for. I feel guilty for liking a new guy, who won't commit to me, so quickly after going on a break but I don't know if I see a future with my ex. What do I do? I think I love them both and wish I could be with my ex for our love and bond but want something exciting and full of actual passion again.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. I doubt you love them both, or ou have defined "love" to mean something different from what I think of as love.

2. How many times do you need to break up/make up before you realize that you and the old boyfriend will NEVER work. You've tried and failed twice.

3. The new guy is a rebound. After a bad break up or a taxing end to a relationship, the prospect of a new partner -especially a new sexual partner - is so exciting that you smply feel that it MUST be right. Slow down and don't jump into bed with new guy unless you just don't care about your number, because the odds are that it will not last. Rebounds rarely work.

[lightbulb27]

why waste your time with someone who won't commit and just wants to use you as his pleasure toy? that's stupid. if you sign up for that, then I have a different answer... go get therapy for your low self esteem.

you love the one guy and have plans. stick with him. If you decide you don't love him or it's not going to work out, end that and move on. And by God, do not go comparing this guy to the other guy because he's just going to be a failure if you do that. noone measures up to a ghost in your imagination.

Stop creating drama that I doubt you can handle in reality.

[weysally]

your not in love with either, your infatuated with both, being treated badly will never be a long time thing, and the other one could be a rebound thing

[dustybiker]

Who can’t you live without? If you lost them both today which would you miss more? That is the one you choose.

[JamesDiaz11]

If you keep chasing that exciting passionate love you'll waste your best years jumping from person to person. This new guy isn't any more amazing than your ex. He's got faults, issues, baggage, and beliefs that don't align with your own. You're just blinded by the new shiny guy image. Of course he's telling you all the good aspects of him, he's trying to get laid.
Get back with your ex, or at least move on without this ridiculous notion that the grass is greener- it isn't.

[juniorJack]

Stand back and breath, a holiday may be nice with your ex but you may be in an uncomfortable position whilst you are there, you booked it whilst you we’re together now your apart, move on, take a hit on the holiday, but don’t rush with the childhood friend either, slow down and take your time.

[Anonymous]

You're on a "Break" and you're working on yourself by planning to fuck another guy? This all sounds pretty sketchy. Just break up with your boyfriend completely before you start messing around and hurting people. It isn't fair to use breaks as a loophole to fuck another guy, but keep your old relationship as an option.

[Anonymous]

He likes me a lot and I really like him but he can't commit to a relationship with me, just sex for now (We haven't hooked up yet but we are definitely interested in doing it and have spoken about it many times.”

“Sorry, I can’t date you right now. But we can fuck. Do you want to fuck?”

“Yeah! We can fuck!”

I’m guessing the conversation went something like that?

[Anonymous]

The ol’ grass is greener syndrome.

If you leave the one you have for what you think is better, you will discover that it is more of the same and you will lose the one you know and love and have history with.
Don’t let greed and lust cloud your choices.

[Pyrofox]

Which one do you see a future with that will be able to endure the challenges that relationships bring.

[Browneye57]

Pathetic. And you're only 18. DO NOT MARRY. Just date around a lot. At least for now.
Your old boyfriend deserves better, so cut him loose so he can find someone worthy.

[slatyb]

"he has not always treated me well..." So why are you still with him?

[TheMajesticKing777]

I don't gotta read all this to give my advice, you gotta choose one

[Staximus]

You have already decided that the magic is over with the ex, and you have broken up twice. Leave your ex alone and move on

[Iron_Man]

End it there is no way you could possibly have deep passion for two guys

[Anonymous]

figures you want what you can't have and want to screw around not surprising from women like you

[JesseJayNeak]

You should have broken up with your boyfriend then

[Anonymous]

Leave on of them and stop acting slutty

[Sketti2021]

Dump both

[Anonymous]

Dump the boyfriend

[Nativeguyokc]

Move on.