What are some of your top "common interests" that you use to establish a connection with someone you first meet?

[TheBootyChest]

This is not limited to dating purposes, but meeting new coworkers, making new acquittances'.

[jennifer_bloom]

I will discuss places we go to celebrate holidays, relationships we have with non romantic people and cool things we buy such as books or discounted food or discounted plants, also nature sightings like birds hatching or salmon spawning or duck migration etc…

[TheBootyChest]

How do you usually bring up those types of things in the beginning?

[jennifer_bloom]

The first thing people ask on Monday is how your weekend was.

[DizzyDesii]

Music, Tv Shows, Celebs, Shoes, Goofiness/Sense of Humor

[TheBootyChest]

Do you bring them up first or just wait for someone else to do it first?

[DizzyDesii]

If they seem shy or friendly enough, i initiate. If they seem a bit uppity and reserved, i let them break the ice

[TheBootyChest]

If they are shy, what do you say when you bring up your interests?

What is it about them being uppity, that makes you wait for them as opposed to just walking away?

[DizzyDesii]

Im random so i’d randomly just ask what shows they watch. As for the uppity ones, sometimes you have to give em a moment to let their guard down so thats why i dont walk away just yet

[TheBootyChest]

Besides their "approachability" (like you stated in the beginning) is there any other situations that dictate how you bring up your interest to other people? Like if it's a man or a woman?

[DizzyDesii]

Nah im pretty open

[TheBootyChest]

So you are as open to men as you are to women?

[DizzyDesii]

Yes and more open to men than women. I dont trust women that much. And since im only interested in dating men, i pretty much have to try to trust them

[TheBootyChest]

Do you have any timeframes as to how long you only talk about common interests before you start to open up to people?

[DizzyDesii]

Im open the moment i feel comfortable around them. Just depends on how genuinely friendly they are. It can happen within the first 2 hours for sure

[TheBootyChest]

I am very much the same way. But I am realizing the negative impact that is having on me these days.

[DizzyDesii]

Whats causing negativity

[TheBootyChest]

Not knowing if they are being as open with me or care that I am opening up. Obviously, I can't read minds so I don't know what they are thinking. But when I feel like I am opening up to them and they don't seem to be curious about me then I start to get negative about the situation and regret trying in the first place.

[DizzyDesii]

Oh yea its easy to tell when someones not interested in learning about you because they’ll find excuses to end the convo and won't ask questions about you in return. Im guilty of doing that but mainly because i love to talk about myself

[TheBootyChest]

So what would you suggest for someone trying to talk to "you"?

[DizzyDesii]

They should Take a hint. People need to be better at reading the room. It shouldn't be hard to know if someone wants you to keep them company or if they avoid your presence. So just be aware of your target and how they react when you come around

[TheBootyChest]

Most of the situations I find myself in are the ones where I can ask lots of questions and get replies all the time, but when I ask them to ask a question they got nothing. Then I ask a question again they come back with a reply. So for me it's difficult to read the room because if I ask a question afterwards they can come back with a lengthy response which tells me that they are interested in talking. Just not about me.

[DizzyDesii]

When im interested in a guy, i ask him a lot to see what we have in common. When im not interested in a guy, i only talk about myself

[TheBootyChest]

What about if it's just as friendships, or people online?

[DizzyDesii]

I dont seek friendship so i dont try to get to know a guy unless i want to be something more. Online, it should be easy to tell when im showing interest but some guys just dont get it

[TheBootyChest]

It's not easy to read the room online. You can't see body language or hear the tone in their voice.

[DizzyDesii]

I can read the pace in timely response as well as certain vocab that is used

[TheBootyChest]

I would love for you to teach that class. LOL.

[DizzyDesii]

Hahaha i think its all about the senses and the love language you speak. If you are all about physical touch then you may be able to read body language better. Mine is words of affirmation so i can read words better

[TheBootyChest]

My primary is physical touch, then quality time tied with acts of service.

So touch doesn't help out online. LOL.

[DizzyDesii]

It does help online but it means you have to video chat them to understand their body language (similar to physical touch) rather than reading their wording

[TheBootyChest]

Not easy to make friends online (here) with people who are willing to video chat. But I do like that idea tho. Just don't know where to go to meet new people who video chat to be friends.

[DizzyDesii]

Just go meet people at grocery stores, gas stations, gamestop, etc

[msc545]

Animals sailing medicine art music cats and many other topics

[menina]

I would say movies, music, hobbies, travelling, views on life and also on the world.

[CurlyGirl42]

Natural science, travels and music.

[TheBootyChest]

How do you try and bring those topics up in conversation?

[CurlyGirl42]

I don't know.. it is not like I plan it so, just often happens naturally. Like I work within natural science, can ask what one did the last holidays/plan for the next (often travel for me), and talk about music if there is something playing where you are at.

[TheBootyChest]

I usually just ask questions about them. And then keep asking questions about their interests. But they usually don't ask me about mine.

[CurlyGirl42]

you can also try to tell about yourself without being asked, within the topic you just started, if their answer reminds you of something you like or experienced then say that

[TheBootyChest]

Thats a smart idea. Thank you.

[gabby100]

Find out what they like to do, see if any match yours..

[HighValue]

Board games, fitness, sports, book series.