Boyfriend earns WAY more than I thought, should I confront him, and how? (Page 2)

Question

So, when we moved in together we both laid out how much money we have available for bills after savings, and his was a little more than mine, so we were able to get a nice place and live a fairly comfortable life as long as we don't go silly, and we split all household bills 50/50. Recently I found one of his bank statements and couldn't help myself, and I realised his income was over double the amount he said he had available, he literally puts half his pay in savings account, and there was LOT of money in this account. I feel so mad about this, a lie of omission, we could be living a better lifestyle, or he could be picking up a bigger share of the bills. I feel this is a betrayal of my trust that he kept this from me, how do I approach him about this?

altdbob · Answer

Sounds to me like you are way to obsessed with material things.
For all you know he is saving for your future together. You agreed to what he was willing to give
"we both laid out how much money we have available for bills after savings"
so live with it or get the hell out.

Sirenboobzilla · Answer

If you guys are splitting things 50/50 and are living comfortably, than this shouldn't be an issue. Granted, sure, no one likes a lie. But that money is his. Maybe he's saving for somethi g larger down the line

Anonymous · Answer

So he is smarter than you and you are mad about it.
many people betray each other, it's not 100% that every one will betray each other but it does happen more often than we think and it's always better to be prepared. I think it was smart of him, he is still helping out while still having something saved up in case anything were to go awry, he has something to fall back on.

I believe smart people should always keep how much they make a secret.

Zenit93 · Answer

This isn’t the case with all women, but most. As soon a woman knows how much you earn, is the moment you net worth starts to deprecate. Women rather spend money and consume rather than invest. You should be encouraging your man to invest rather than save. Have the excess money work for you rather than you working for it. Lying isn’t right, but you’re still not entitled to his money. You’re not married.

Shamalien · Answer

Female entitlement knows no bounds... pretty easy to see why he lied eh? Look at you. Greedy bitch. When you’re raising his kids then you have some ground to stand on but right now you’re totally in the wrong and you really have no right to any of his financial info so long as he pays his half

anton_dee · Answer

He is saving for a rainy day or the day he marrying you.

Also having more money doesn't neccesarily mean you gotta live lavish.

He is doing a very wise thing by putting it in savings account. Be happy he is doing that and not spending it all away on something foolish...

omnivert · Answer

No no no,
Keep calm lady keep calm.
The man is trying to build a dream for him as well as you,
Think of it as a future investment if you end up together marrying.
He is doing it for his wife to be in a world of a comfortable life.
He is think good for you too..
So just calm yourself and dont let him know about this.
Be will tell tou everything later.

Anonymous · Answer

How do you approach him about snooping through his financial statements?

You all crack me up with your nosiness. “You can’t help yourself.” Give me a break. I’ve never met a woman in my life who wasn’t a snoop and who could respect other’s privacy.

Anonymous · Answer

Talk to him about it, but first calm down and have an open mind. Your feelings (yes you have a right to them) but aren't reality likely. Money he had AVAILABLE is the key word. He wants to save. So to him, that is what he has AVAILABLE and he didn't lie or miss lead you. All how you look at it. I guarantee you both will see this differently, so keep an open mind (see his side of it) and just talk about it.

Abc12356 · Answer

Please don't. Its like you're invading his financial freedom. You're both equal persons in the relationship. No matter how much money he makes it shoulder matter to you as long as he is giving his half.

little_rose · Answer

It's his money, not yours. You guys are living well. He pays his half of everything. I don't see where the problem is.

Just be happy with your guy. Maybe he has stuff he wants to do and he's saving for that.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

He needs to dump you and kick you out if you think that's a problem. You're telling us you were never happy with the plan the both of you agreed on since the beginning. He saves his money and is responsible.

Anonymous · Answer

"I feel so mad about this, a lie of omission, we could be living a better lifestyle, or he could be picking up a bigger share of the bills."

Did it occur to you that this statement might be why he hid some of his assets? Maybe he values building a nice nest egg. There are many reasons why he would want that money.

Guy13 · Answer

If he lies about money then he will lie about everything. Play golf ⛳️ with him. If he cheats at golf he will cheat at everything. I HOPE you ran full medical, credit, and criminal AND exchanged before moving in and signing legal Lease document

Drumlin2001 · Answer

He's being sensible and planning for a future. Why should he fund your lifestyle? You should split bills 50/50, regardless what he warns, and if you want more disposable income then find a better job for yourself

SmokyOne · Answer

Go on and confront him so he get out of this relationship before its too late Actually what his fb so I can tell him if he stays to get a prenup

jshm2 · Answer

You don't. You hang your head in shame as he's living with someone below his grade. You are only his girlfriend, not his wife and I can see why. If you bring this up, so will he.

Subarugirl · Answer

You don't, you are splitting things 50/50 and that is fair. You aren't married and his money is his money, as long as he fulfills his part of the agreement there shouldn't be an issue.

IveGotNoName · Answer

I dont think he should have lied. But I don't think it should change anything. The bill should be 50/50 and he chooses how much money he wants to put into his savings.

kitkills · Answer

If he didn't tell you he obviously doesn't want to spend his fucking money on you. "We could be living a better lifestyle" That's HIS decision bud.

dustybiker · Answer

Why could you be living a better lifestyle? That sounds evenly split. He lied to you? So talk with him about what you found. It’s also admitting to snooping. That evens the negatives.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s not a betrayal of trust. You have as much of a right to his money as he has to yours. If you’re married, then you can share assets. If you made more than him and he said he had a right to spend the money you earn, would you let him have whatever he wanted of your income?

Dragonstarterplus · Answer

Love how your first thoughts are of how his hard earned money could be better utilized for your benefit even though the bills are split 50/50 and you live a comfortable life

hi_it_is_me123 · Answer

I understand why he is doing it but at the same time it is a redflag that he lies. What if he lies about other things too? Men also hate it when women lie about age, bodycount etc. So lying is a huge deal breaker to me.

lucas262 · Answer

I would never lie to her, 1st  2nd she would never live with me without a ring. 3rd I would never tell her how much I made till the ring is on and she needed to know.

Sixgunsound · Answer

Exactly what percentage of someone else’s money is your ‘fair share’? -Thomas Sowell

dolemite89 · Answer

why should a guy be truthful about how much money he makes if he’s paying his fair share? women are scandalous when it comes to money i don’t blame him. if i was a millionaire i’d still live very quietly and never admit how much money i make.

AydenHazor · Answer

You talked about what you had available after saving and he told you. He's being wise with his money with saving for a future. You said yourself you have a nice place together and are living a comfortable life, why is that not enough?

Twalli · Answer

You get married and need to retire. He has a comfortable nest egg for you. He sees half his salary as discretionary income and the rest as saving. I can't say I'd do anything differently. in my opinion that's a good financial decision for him.

exitseven · Answer

Why do you think he did this. He know you would act like this.

Cathy7734 · Answer

Since he purposely hid this from you I can't help but wonder what else is he hiding?

Valso · Answer

This question is just another proof that women only care about money. You moved in to live with his money, not with him.

gabby100 · Answer

But you have to think of this before you move in with him. If you are expecting him to provide more than his 50% you could be classed as a kept woman. So tied to him ,

This_Is_My_Opinion8 · Answer

I hate it, but I agree with the men here.  He is just protecting himself from a possible gold digger.  Also the money is his. If he wants to share it he should, if he doesn't, well his call.

007kingifrit · Answer

well i guess you have to bring it up. he may not have done anything wrong and may not want to contribute more (and he doesn't have to)

before you say anything to him you should make sure you know the difference between fairness and equality

Anonymous · Answer

Oh look, you want his money. Little gold digger aren't ya. That's what he's been trying to protect himself from and I hope for his sake he is smarter than giving in to your expectations.

Anonymous · Answer

Smart enough to put half of his pay into savings... but not wise enough to avoid moving in with a girlfriend.

megabamse · Answer

It's not your money. He earned it, he gets to do with it as he wants. Be mad sure, but ultimately it's not your money.

fonduegirl · Answer

I honestly think the partner that earns more, needs to contribute more. Tell him to stop being such a dousche.

itsalyssaagain · Answer

Just say why did you lie to me? This has made me upset. Don't start an argument about it. Communicate your feelings.

Hellodownthere · Answer

It's not about the money. If he's lying about his income, then what else might he be lying about? Think about that.

dudeinohio · Answer

Soooo... you want to take all HIS money and spend it? He manages his money in a responsible manner and you want to ruin it? Pretty greedy and materialistic aren't you?

Anonymous · Answer

You should just leave him and trade out your cunt for whatever you think its worth / can get for it until that gravy train dries up.

Paul09 · Answer

So you are materialistic? How do you know he hasn't been saving for awhile? You do get interest in saving account, you do know that right? And it's about sharing memories, not buying "things".

AnAsker · Answer

Your agreement was about the money each one of you has AVAILABLE for bills after savings, not for the total amount of savings. If you are available to pay all of your savings in bills this is your way to administrate your money

whiskeyontherocks · Answer

You already violated his privacy so no it’s not your money.  I would hope it’s emergency funds that he would use if necessary though.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

You sound like the type of entitled cunt that doesn’t deserve to be with anyone.

Anonymous · Answer

You should pay half no matter how much money he has or you're just digging for gold. Start making more money if it bothers you.

IsoUser · Answer

Unless you're a potential gold digger what business is it of yours what his income is? Unless he is taking advantage of you financially.

In_Trance · Answer

Clearly the two of you don't see eye to eye financially. I think you should go your separate ways now because you're never going to

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

He's being smart! Why admit the money? You're already infiltrating his bank account!

RandomGuy1030 · Answer

His money and no clue what he's saving it for but it obviously isn't for what you think it should be spent on

Anonymous · Answer

Do it, he'll kick you to the curb and still have his savings  Note to self, don't send bank statements to spousal home

TallAnon · Answer

Yeah, be open-minded and chat about it. Perhaps he had a decent reason.

driven159 · Answer

you should be proud of him saving money instead of pissing it away like so many people do these days

EnglishEuropean · Answer

Don't think of it as confronting him. It's just something you need to talk about.

Anonymous · Answer

He's being smart, and you need to wise up and stop being so petty.

ausfreak11 · Answer

what a shit relationship lol my ex and I just shared our money and I made a lot more than her. he sounds like a shit partner.

Anonymous · Answer

Men need to lie about their pay because women are leaches and see men as bank accounts.

Anonymous · Answer

F... Y... and your gold diggin prospective narritive. I F... n hate women such as what your doing.

Boyfriend earns WAY more than I thought, should I confront him, and how? (Page 2)

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