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47Opinion
I believe it's better to wait that year. Otherwise you might end up in a situation where only you are taking care of the baby because your partner didn't consent to have it in the first place. I would see it as a problem if he said he doesn't want babies at all (then you're not the right people for each other) but I see nothing wrong with him wanting to wait a bit.
Your plan is a great way to end up a divorced single mom.
You want to go from relatively low stress dating, add the stressful change of marriage, and immediately add the enormous stress of a baby? You're going to be single again within 2 years.
Do you really want to start your marriage based on treachery?
You can go to the doctor and get health checkups to check if everything is in place.
Based on the result you both can make the decision.
When it comes to child birth you people don't allow men to have a choice be it giving birth or aborting and really that's not fair as a couple.
And if you somehow manipulate him and get preganent and he comes to know of the manipulation and resent the baby what would you do?
And if he feels so disgusted of being used and wants to leave would be open to be a single mother?
I think you should wait and see if the marriage will even last the first year. Also, don't have a kid unless you are financially able to. You may not be able to work after a baby is born, and sometimes not in the last couple months of pregnancy. You will have to learn to survive on just his salary. Financial problems are probably the most common marriage killer. Think and consider all options before you have a kid.
@daniela1982 Good points. I need not say more.
Yikes i’ve been there. We argued about it as well because he wanted a year or two of just us and after a waste of 2 years dating (with him claiming to propose thhe following month), he backed out altogether and i ended up single with no marriage nor kid. I still wouldn't change my mind. I know what i want and when i want it. He was the type who remained indecisive and couldnt keep his word. I dont wanna date that type again
Although I've never wanted children, I can say that once you have them, you won't have the freedom to do whatever you want anymore. Plus, you'll have to take on another job, spend less time with your hubby and more time on your child. I think him suggesting a year of fun before kids is a great idea. Get used to your married life first, have fun. Do all the things you want to do before any bigger responsibilities.
i would question having a baby with a man like that. he doesn't seem to care about you or your priorities. I think you're gonna be single again in a few years. You need a man who sees you as a priority. But I've seen many women successfully have children all the way up until 40.
“He doesn’t seem to care about you or your priorities.”
“I have agreed to his decision but I have a silent plan to seduce him into getting me pregnant once we are married. (Any tips?)”
😐
@Agagagagaga
there is no silent plan because she's mader her voice heard that she wants instant babies.
and she has no intentions of getting married before having children.
i think its time you put your woman hating away. it stinks.
I think it’s time you get off your pedestal and stop singing “I am woman here me roar.”
She’s going to lie to him and manipulate him into an unwanted pregnancy!
And he’s the selfish one?
Dude are you taking your medication? Or are you always this simple-minded?
@Agagagagaga
I think its best for a misogynist like you to stop making lies up. there's no evidence in this question that she never brought up the topic of children to him.
Your first step might be to determine how fertile you are and how his sperm count is. My husband and I waited a while, but we did get married in our 20s. We did have to have some fertility assistance (both of us had issues) with our second child, but we were financially prepared and wouldn’t change a thing on our timing. You really should enjoy each other’s company and welcome children into a happy home.
It sounds scary, why would you get infertile just a year after marriage? Pay attention to your health, if you're so unhealthy that you're not sure whether you can get pregnant then your baby won't grow strong anyway.
You can cuckold him. If you weigh under 130 lbs and willing to fly to me, id be glad to help.
Lolz.
Yes, that would be wrong. If you can't agree on this, perhaps you shouldn't marry. Are you sure he wants children?
He wants children but only after the fun year. His reason is that women get married to the babies" he said he has seen it happen around him so he wants to enjoy his "year of attention and companionship" before that happens.
Why? It's a 2 person life changing disicion. I dont get Breeders, why they must have kids, and right away. Why? Selfish reasons? Me, me, me? You are bringing life into this horrible world. Not buying a product at a store lol. You probably watch too many Disney movies lol
You can't and shouldn't want to (and won't be able to) convince him to tow the line.
Don't get married if you cannot understand this basic thing.
Why do you sound like I am being controlling or something?
I don't think that. Way to demonstrate how poor your basic comprehension is.
Let me be clear. You're not controlling. You are stupid. And self centred. But mostly stupid.
Now you won't have to puzzle out what I meant even though everyone else understood it already.
Hmn. Find a place to cool down. You sound very upset. It is not good for your heart.
Not upset either. You're three for three with failing to gauge people. Because you're stupid.
Take your meds. It will help you.
Take some classes. An education may help you.
I don't take advise from bitter people
I agree with him.
And your intent to make him comply with your demands is an indicator of what a rotten choice of a partner you already are.
I pity him and your kids already.
He should run
Don't you dare trick him into getting you pregnant. That's disgusting. It's no different from a guy taking off his condom and cumming in her without her knowing.
One year is very reasonable and you should respect his wishes.
Once you have the kid, kiss fun goodbye!! Take it while you can get it! You've waited this long to pound out a unit, another year can't hurt..
Give his idea a chance. One year of fun won’t kill you. Then you can settle down and have kids.
Why are you in a rush to have kids? You should enjoy your life with him without the responsibilities of kids while you can.
Seems like you're making a case for why guys shouldn't marry women over 30 who want kids.
Just tell him you're getting past your baby making years and you don't have much time left to have kids before your eggs dry up