I married the woman my mother hated the most, after realizing nobody was ever going to be good enough and I needed to be a big boy and live my own life. We’re doing great and it will be a decade in August. Turns out my mother has a lot of anger management and other mental health issues and can’t be happy unless the people around her are more miserable than she is. We haven’t talked since I formally ended our relationship last year, and my marriage is doing better because of it. My wife and I finally figured out the reason my wife doesn’t like my mother is be cause she loves me enough to get angry when someone mistreats me, and for all these years I put up with my mother’s toxicity because of cultural expectations that someone who births you gets to abuse you however they want to and you just have to take it. We as a culture don’t tolerate fathers abusing kids but we tolerate mothers doing it? Must be that patriarchy privilege popping up again. Once I overcame that, it was a huge relief and weight off my entire family’s shoulders not to have to deal with the monster-in-law (from wife’s perspective) anymore.
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I think it's so many ways this is happened to everybody I know for me any girl that I introduce my mom to my mom never liked it and I had to accept that that's the way it was going to be so I was going to be in charge of my own destiny I'm not going to like a girl just because my mom likes her that would drive me crazy I'm the one that's going to be with her each and every day so I'm the one that's going to pick and choose the one I want to be with and if my mom doesn't like her that she was tough shit she's going to have to grow up and get over it and she needs to learn how to treat this person with respect because she will always be treated with respect
It depends. I’m pretty sure my mum would refuse to give her blessings if the guy was not my race. (Uh yeah, she’s a little racist). If it was because of something trivial like race/culture/appearance I’d tell her I’m going to marry him anyway. It is always best to sit down and have a conversation instead of making a decision without careful deliberation. My family is important to me, and so is my partner. If my family asked me to choose between them or my partner, I’d try to convince them. If they do not accept, I’ll set some boundaries and let them know that I will not be contacting them unless they are willing to accept my partner.
My soulmate because I'm totally sure my family will oppose me because dating isn't allowed in our family. Also if they respect my decisions and trust me enough then they should accept my partner. If they don't then what's the value of staying with a family who doesn't thinks you responsible enough? However my cousins and sister will support me for sure. It would be my maternal grandparents and maybe my mom and uncles and aunts who will oppose me. I doubt my dad or paternal grandpa will oppose me as they respect my decisions.
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Marrying someone essentially means your marrying their family from a distance. If you make your partner pick you or their family and they pick you, they can get resentful, especially if it backfires and the family ghosts them, and all that and they wanted to keep them in their life.
No one should make someone choose, my family would NEVER refuse anyone I pick but if they did it would be for a real good reason that I just didn't know about and they haven't had the chance to tell me about it yet.I wouldn't care, lmao.
I like them, that's all that matters.
My parents would never make me choose.
I'd live with my partner, my parents are free to contact me whenever.
I only have my mom dad and sister.
I despise my sister's spouse, but i still love and talk to my sister.how long have known this "soul mate"? your family cares about YOU first, not strangers who only may want to use you in the short term. Has this dude introduced you to his family and insisted he meet YOUR family?
take this from a guy who takes care of his family and would only want the best for his daughterDepends on the family's reasons, but it isn't my family marrying the partner - it's me.
So fuck what the family wants. If it's my bio fam, especially so. If it's the chosen fam then I want explanations because maybe I'm missing something.Parents need to give me GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD and I mean GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD argumentation why they HATE, you said HATE him. Hate vs good argumentation. You love to see it, but so rare to come by!
That would mean that my 'family' does not wish me to be happy.
Therefore, I must assume that they are not on my side.
I'll swap families, then.
... or parts of that family, that is.Ahh shit. The only time they've got that heated was when abuse was involved. That would suck to be on the other side of. I think I'd pick family.
I'd pick my partner. My father, who didn't like the guy my sister was marrying, said, "I don't have to like him, you do."
It depends if their hate was warranted. If I feel they just hate her for no reason then I dont want anything to do with them honestly.
That would never happen. Cause I have great judgement and wouldn't introduduce a fool to my parents.
Why doesn't your family like them? How is your relationship with your family?
If they are real family they won't make you choose.
If your family doesn't like a person, there's usually a good reason. They're not in the business of wanting to make you unhappy for the rest of your life.
They have. They're out of my life entirely for a reason.
Been there done that, it turned out the family was right to not trust her. But I don't think that will be the case all the time.
my family won't refuse them if they're a decent human being... and if they're not a decent human being, i don't want them.
I never had a great family life anyway so I would just say "have a nice life."
It would give me serious pause. Because I have 4 sisters and a mother. And if none of them like you there's something I'm missing that they're picking up on. Because they're very accepting women
Either your family has always dislike you or they are right about him.
They are not marrying them do they really don’t have a say.
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