What advice would you give to a guy friend/relative that has lost hope when it comes to dating/relationships/love?

[Anonymous]

[its_amelia_c]

Good things come to those who wait!


I know it sounds cheesy and it’s a very old saying but it is very true!


It’s not about going out and looking for it. It’s not about how many times your tried and failed. It’s not about the things that have happened in the past.


All these things are there and have happened to have made you who you are. To give you life lessons. To be tools. To let you know what you want and don’t want in life. What you will accept and won’t going forward. How you can improve in areas, in yourself to become a better you.


So that when the time is right, when things all align, when it is your turn, when the universe feels you are now ready to be in a relationship, and you can fulfil a healthy relations, you will meet the perfect person, for you!


That person may not have been that person you expected, thought you would be with, expected to be with, your ideal dream person, but is actually the perfect person for you. You just have to allow it to happen, give that person a chance and see that it’s exactly where and who your supposed to be with!


It’s all about timing! Let yourself heal! Let yourself clear your mind! Then, things will naturally fall into place, when it’s meant to be!

[Cynicaldreamer]

Stop trying and just enjoy life.

Yeah, that's right, I'd agree with him. If you're at that point where you're sick of trying to date, burned out of the drama, rejection, being friendzoned, then YEAH, take a break! I absolutely agree.
Now I'm not saying you need to completely give up on love, just take a break. Do things that make you happy, distract yourself from dating, relationships, and love for a bit. If it's meant to be, it's gonna happen naturally anyway. So stop letting it get to you.

[ragequeen]

If you've given up, you've already lost.

[Emiliamazing]

This is a tough question because all of us would know this individual quite well from being close friend. I suppose I would remind him of his strengths as well as weaknesses and then come up with some sort of explanation noting how to use the strength to be proud of himself/raise his self-esteem. If there is one thing for certain, there is not a human that walks the earth that is perfect and has everything that every person is looking for. My husband and I are quite different in many aspects, I’m sure that we surprised each other when we made each other very happy.
You will never achieve or gain what you are seeking if you quit. That is true nearly any situation.

[Anonymous]

I've been through the ringer in my dating life throughout the years, and I had pretty much lost hope too. I still went out and tried to date, but never really had high hopes that something would work out. But then I met my now-bf. He and I just instantly clicked. It's rare, but it does happen.

I think the main thing to remember is that all but one romantic relationship in your life are going to fail (assuming monogamy). That may sound depressing, but it's really not. It's just a fact of life. All those other things have to fall apart for one beautiful thing to come together. The next time one of your dating relationships comes to an end, try to stay positive and realize that it just puts you one step closer to finding the right person.

[zoemarie14140]

The time will come... I started dating this guy at 16... he trested me like crap and abused me in several different ways... 2 hours after we broke up (I was 18) I started dating a new guy... we dated for 4 months and got married... we have 2 kids and have been through a ton together... I have a ton of trauma and literally 30 minutes ago I went on a rant about my feelings... he explained his love to me all the way down to explaining what love is... yeah ik I'm crazy for doing what I did but I don't regret it... he's the best...

[dustybiker]

Don’t close yourself off. Allow new people you meet a clean slate, meaning, try not to judge them on past hurts made by other people. New people will behave their own way. Keep a positive outlook (aside bad days, we all have them). It will be the most attractive.

[Squaresquirrel]

I would tell him to focus somewhere else. He should try to find a hobby (not a solitary one)
He should work out, learn to cook so he could eat well.
If he has a job he doesn't like, he should change it, or go back to school to learn something for a proper career change.
Basically, he should focus on himself and learn to make himself happy or at least content.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

I agree with @Cynicaldreamer - just stop trying.

Focus on yourself, live your life. Make yourself happy.

Stay open to a possibility, but let you and your life be the focus of your energy. Stop spending it on the chase.

You don't HAVE to be with anyone. You're allowed to enjoy life as an independent man.

[TrulyPink28]

First, what has broken your will to build and work on a new relationship?
Secondly, figure out what's wrong with your picker (who you choose and why you chose them)?
Thirdly, are you in emotionally broken from the last relationship?

[Imkass]

I get like this all the time it’s been almost 8 years for me but I’m just waiting for them to coke to me instead of me reaching out this time

[Asker]

It's been over 10 years for me

[Squaresquirrel]

If it's been over 10 years, you might want to look for professional help

[Asker]

I have tried that, all that happened is I got my hopes up, and it ended with a similar outcome

[FictionalCharacter]

Nothing. It’s hard to give pessimistic people advice.