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Am I the asshole for wanting to go to couples counseling before having a second child? (Page 2)
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He's not having the baby, you're the one who has to go through hell all over again. He's being selfish. Just don't have another baby. If you were feeling suicidal from post possum depression and he's not taking that into consideration, he's an asshole. He doesn't own you. Just tell him you're not having another baby and that's it. Stand up for yourself, woman.
Yes you are. Counseling exists only for one reason: to validate the woman feelings and make the man look like the bad guy. It's all about you and how evil the man is. No counsellor in this world will ever say that the man is right. These things exist just to serve your vagina as always.
Say you’ve never had good counseling with out saying you’ve never had good counseling..
I never went to counselling to begin with. I know very well that social services exist to serve a woman's vagina. In a gynocentric society the man is always the evil fascist. The woman is always the poor proletarian.
Oh so you’re an expert on things you’ve never done, tried it experienced. No pleases, go on and explain to me counseling better than a Dr. of psychology.
if there was even a slight chance for the man to find justice in counselling you would never dare to suggest it. The woman is the winner every fucking time.
It’s not about winning it’s about working though issues
Counselling is usually a good idea if you have trauma to handle, and in relationships, a mediator is sometimes helpful on big decisions like this. You're being careful of your mental health and of your relationship, I think that's wise.
no that's perfectly valid, but there has to be a compromise somewhere because both should respect each other's feelings and thoughts, but at the same time don't put yourself through something for the sake of your husband, he should understand that
Counseling sounds like a good idea, especially with all the complications you’ve had in the past and if you don’t feel you’re both in complete agreement in what to do going forward. Good luck with everything!
Probably replying to sn old post, but have you told him these things. Pain during sex for that long is not a good thing. If he is not aware of how this effected you, he won't be able to see things from your perspective.
Just a thought. Sometimes if people just sit down and talk, they can accomplish a lot.
Exactly and counseling is such a good too for that
Just don't use it as an excuse to gang up on the guy and get your way.
I’m not hanging up on anyone
Look you just said sex doesn’t hurt anymore so just let nature take it’s course I think you guys still need counseling though I don’t know him but you seem highly unstable you need to fix yourselves before bringing another child into this I hope it goes well and you two come together stronger and better than ever and have the best sex of your Iives cus @Subarugirl you need a chill pill
Why do I farm unstable?
Yea, you're being selfish- you're depriving your husband of a family of the size that he wants. I'm not saying you're being absolutely unreasonable, but it's your own concerns that are preventing you from engaging in this.
I’m being for selfish for wanting to go to therapy to work through the trauma and post traumatic stress of almost dying last time, before we have a mother child? So my concerns of going through a potentially life threat experience, that will for ever change my body and brain, and destroy my sex life with my husband makes me selfish?
Selfish by definition is taking your own concerns over everyone else’s. And don’t come at me with that ptsd bs you women pull- I’ve don’t two combat tours overseas- you don’t know what trauma is.
It’s not selfish to me and to address and heal from trauma before going through it again. As someone who has been on 2 tours I’m surprised you’re not more educated about the varying degrees of severity of post traumatic stress. I was in agony for over 30 hours and almost died.. then I couldn’t have sex with my husband with out being in excruciating pain for over 3 years… but yeah I’m the selfish one because I want to make sure that we have both dealt with all of the trauma that caused and that were on the same page before choosing to do it again
no not at all. definitely try to talk to a counselor if you feel this might help you out. if i were your husband... well i would just respect your wishes for not having another child... but if i still wanted one i would exhaust and explore every opportunity to help you get to a place where you want one again.
You have some legitimate concerns that need to be addressed. I think it is appropriate to have these concerns addressed in a professional setting. I am not sure that couples counseling is the right place to look for this.
No not at all! And if you don't want a second child, you don't have to, that's totally fine. Please don't let yourself be pressured in something that causes you so much stress and more
Nope!! If he's not listening to your side, then a counselor might help. If he's just gonna plug his ears and not listen to your side, then it's not irrational to want counseling.
No, it’s not wrong of you to be apprehensive about going through that again and getting a neutral party to help you and your husband communicate about it constructively is a fine idea.
Not at all. Sometimes it's easier speaking to a complete stranger that has a degree in counseling and no familial or friendly or bias towards anyone in the relationship
Maybe adopt, go polygamous or get a surrogate?
It's not that hard, kiddo, (pun not intended).
You just need to grow up is all.
Funny I suggested both of those things, both of which he rejected
Working together is the best way counseling can help different ways besides this, also adoption is a lot more work than what people realize but you guys need to come to a happy medium Also if you guys do adopt make sure it’s a younger child/ baby
No, you are not. I wonder why he presses this even with the knowledge of you have gone through this before.
NO! You aren't. GO and take the asshole with you. IF one of you think you need counciling then you both should go.
Why do people ask if they are ass holes? Really. like,... the 🕳 of the butt 😐 👀
It’s a Reddit thing
You could consider going for cesarean section could possible save you a lot of trouble. Do bit more research on it and consult doc for benefits.