Am I wrong for wanting to get with my boyfriend's best friend also should I ask him for an open relationship?

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1 year (but we've been secretly dating for now lets call him M). Everything was great until a couple months ago my boyfriend has been acting very two faced as in calling me a bitch and just being randomly aggressive then tells me he loves me but he never hurts me physically. Also, lately he's been pressuring me to "move our relationship to the next step". This is where his friend comes into the picture (I used to like him but for now lets call him S) I knew S before I knew my boyfriend but I didn't know that they were friends. Then my friend started liking him so I backed off but it turned out he didn't like her and recently S has been talking to me when ever he can and always is looking at me but I don't want to hurt my boyfriend because I still have feelings for S and him. So what should I do?

Break up with my boyfriend and try with S

stay with my boyfriend.

[Nawlins34]

Yes, if you know for a fact "S" isn't worth losing "M" over, you're in the wrong. End those feelings and let it go.

If "S" is worth burning a bridge over, then drop "M" immediately. Don't "propose" it, stand on your own feet and just end the relationship.

But this isn't lasting long either. At some point, when the honeymoon is over, "S" is going to realize that in the right situation, you'll do the same to him, at which point, he'll have a decision to make as well.

"M" doesn't sound like the type of guy that will be fine with an "open" relationship, but you know him better than me. If you feel safe enough asking that question, feel free.

You're not coming out of this situation squeaky clean and innocent, the only thing you have control over is who gets hurt the most by you. In that situation, it's best to hurt the person you'll never come back to.

I say that, because you don't sound too enthusiastic about progressing with "M". If you were, you wouldn't entertain "S".

Also, what is "S" going to do? Doesn't this move end his friendship with "M"?

And with him "being randomly aggressive" , are we sure we want to drop "M" for his friend?

Because "M" loses twice in this scenario, if you consider "M" to be emotionally immature and can't regulate his anger, he won't take this slight easily.

Just my opinion, I hoped it sparked further questions, be safe and good luck.

[Asker]

Thank you for this!😁

[Effably]

Liking the best friend makes some sense. People usually become good friends with others a little like them. Liking two similar people is quite logical. The best friend while alike probably has a more new-toy shine.

Not like we can really tell you what to do. If you can't choose you can float the idea of something open tactfully. Most guys wouldn't go for it but who knows.

If you can choose, choose. Just commit to it before taking action. That is, if you want to go for the friend dump your guy. Make things clear. Then do it. You are not forced to love someone forever, but personally I feel anyone you have loved still deserves your respect.

[Anonymous]

I don't believe in monogamy, and this is a perfect example of why. But I also don't believe in a fully open relationship, because that would be chaos. I think both partners should be allowed to have a special friend on the side. If that was your arrangement, this problem would be solved. Throw out the suggestion and if your boyfriend doesn't go for it, then leave.

[SnakeBoop]

break up with the boyfriend. he sounds like a dick for one, but you're also literally asking if you should jump ship which shows you've checked out the relationship yourself anyway.

[Texasgal95]

Am my opinion open relationships are just asking for drama not worth it

[SunnyCaliGirl]

The relationship sounds incThe relationship sounds vary insecure and on the rocks for sure.

[TheLoneTerran]

Grow up, break it off, and try with the other, fuckin' hell.

[Anonymous]

Lol and you wonder why most men do not respect women any more.. Don't cheat on the guy, just break up.

[secret-admirer-perv]

Slave and master huh?
Naughty girl. Poor M gonna lose his girl
And it’s going to hurt.

[jimmy2]

If boyfriend calling you a bitch leave him but you go to A that drama baby

[Flower7]

Get rid of the boyfriend. He sounds like a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Why cheat? That's why men can't trust women anymore.

[Asker]

I never said cheating

[Opinion Owner]

If the first guy M is treating you badly and you like S, just break up and try with S but open relationships don't really work.

[Asker]

Ok but also some back ground information he asked me if he could have a one night stand with out me 😁

[Opinion Owner]

Would you like that? Him having sex with someone else?

[Asker]

Honestly I wouldn't like it but also when or if I ask him for a open relationship I don't want to a sexual relationship any time soon

[Opinion Owner]

Ok then you will just get hurt. It doesn't sound like this is going to work out, someone will get hurt. But you can do what you want.

[Brittanyroseee]

Cheater🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

[Asker]

But I never acted on my emotions so how am I cheating? Also its not like immediately after IF I decide to break up with him I might get with S. But if this is your opinion I respect it.

[Brittanyroseee]

The thought of doing that is wrong lol

[Asker]

Did you read any of the other stuff that I wrote but as I stated that I wasn't interested in being a sexual relationship yet my boyfriend has been pressuring me into it and telling me how he might find someone else to satisfy his needs he has said this way to many times and I haven't mentioned not once about this

[Brittanyroseee]

Ah i just read it.

[Brittanyroseee]

Then leave your boyfriend he sounds like an absolute tool and a user honestly

[TheMajesticKing777]

Break up with him

[In_Trance]

Good luck with that