I don't have a partner, but I am still in shape. I control my intake and do work out when it's needed even though I don't in a schedule all the time. It's not for someone else. It's for me. It's simple as that.
I feel that. Personally I don't think guys should allow themselves to go past 15% bodyfat because after that it starts affecting your testosterone levels and testosterone affects your personality to a big degree. More than people really understand
It's also super fucking easy to maintain lol 12-15% and if you want to look sharp for summer an easy get to 10% which is also easy to maintain
If your partner truly love you they would continue to love you no matter what you look like if they stop loving you / being attracted to you they don't really love you. And as far as staying in shape goes nobody stay in shape after 20 years.
Well attraction is not a choice, so I don't know how you can say they don't really love you if they lose attraction. They don't control that
If anything if they stay with you after losing attraction, then that's a bigger sign that they actually love you. Because they're trying to make it work despite losing attraction
If they stop being attracted it's simply because they aren't in love with the person, it's like when a wife get depression and her husband leave her it mean he doesn't love her. My father got fat, disabled , got depression, etc... but we still all loved him and my mother never left him nobody did. when someone lose attraction it just really mean they didn't truly loved the person.
Attraction of Love or not the same thing. Attraction is what turns you on, gets you horny, you gravitate to it in that lustful manner.
Love is often coupled with attraction, but attraction is not love. You love your dad, you're not attracted to your dad. Just like you might be attracted to someone you just met, but you don't love them because you can't because you don't know them
"And as far as staying in shape goes nobody stay in shape after 20 years." - Weak excuse not to stay in shape in your younger years. Also, those who work out regularly and watch their diet will look a lot better in 20 years than their peers who haven't.
Using "love" and commitment from a partner is not a valid excuse to slack off. This is the issue with people nowadays who think relationships are some final destination and thus an excuse to just lay back and put one foot over the other. They are NOT. Because the same people with this mentality often get flabbergasted when they find out their partner is losing interest in them, has already lost interest or ends up cheating. Why? Because people stopped doing that which made them attractive, to begin with.
Love is indeed in the eye of the beholder. But if you'll end up gaining 30 kilos or more in into the relationship, then don't be surprised that the person who loves you will not be interested in anything sexual with you. They still love you, but don't feel the need to get sexual.
So in the end, just because your partner 'loves' you, doesn't mean you should feel free to slack off. Especially if you already were in shape when you got together. If your partner is in shape themselves, then they have every right to make that a requirement. Trust me, if my girlfriend starts to get out of shape because she feels like slacking off, and she doesn't heed my concerns or warnings, I will leave her. That doesn't mean I don't love her. I do. It means I have standards and don't tolerate nonesense within the relationship. And she would do the same if I get out of line because I choose to (and I encourage her).
@alice55 " it's like when a wife get depression and her husband leave her it mean he doesn't love her." Depression and physical attraction are not the same thing. This is an invalid example to make an argument. Someone who got depression CAN still be physically attractive and even maintain their shape. You are also bringing factors within your argument that someone cannot have control over. I can CHOOSE to remain in shape. I cannot choose to be depressed because of (insert whatever reason). You're comparing apples to oranges.
"My father got fat, disabled , got depression, etc... but we still all loved him and my mother never left him nobody did." Bringing your dad into the equation when we are discussing attraction within the context of ROMANTIC partners is also an invalid example. Your mother stayed with your dad because of her love and commitment. You can still love someone without feeling attracted to them.
I can bet my kidney that you wouldn't fall for a guy who is overweight, disabled and got depression.
Physical attraction (which is the whole premise of this question) is NOT something you can control. Either you're attracted to someone physically or not. Having a loving bond is not the same thing as what is being asked here.
Like @jabberjaw said, if you don't even understand the basic definitions, then there is no point in having a discussion.
@TruthBringer If there's no point in having a discussion why did you respond? It doesn't make any sense... And wrong nobody look the same 20 years after, you can have a fit body but an ugly face full of wrinkle and you can do what you want nothing is ever gonna change that. some people use cream or even botox and still look ugly nothing can change that, better have a great face and being chubby than being fit and full of wrinkles. Guys who are old and are fit have ugly face full of wrinkles usually.
and then if you can love a person while physically not attracted to them then there's no point in staying in shape since your partner would still love you.
And I got crushes on obese dude and dude shorter than me so don't assume things (never been in love with anyone though and I don't like skinny dude). As for depression I never met someone having depression.
You're all just searching excuse for justifying cheating on your partner...
“ If there's no point in having a discussion why did you respond?” - Because I’ve already started my response only to realize halfway that you don’t even possess the basics of the argument here.
“And wrong nobody look the same 20 years after, you can have a fit body but an ugly face full of wrinkle and you can do what you want nothing is ever gonna change that.” - Clearly my point went straight over your head. We are discussing staying in shape, not staying young. Someone who is serious about their fitness can be in better shape at 40 or 50 than a 20 year old who doesn’t workout and eats trash.
“some people use cream or even botox...” - Again, we are discussing staying in shape on FITNESS level, not facial youth. It seems like we are talking chess while you’re speaking of checkers.
“and then if you can love a person while physically not attracted to them then there's no point in staying in shape since your partner would still love you.” - Sexual and physical attraction are huge factors within relationships. Especially when the couple hasn’t hit the 60+ mark. There is a reason why people cheat with more sexually appealing people. Not that I condone it, but it does show you how important it is to be PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED to your partner. A sexless marriage/marriage with no sexual attraction, is notorious to be a marriage where at least one person is disatisfied. Do some research instead of reaching for excuses to stay lazy. You just want to give lipservice to a basic thing which is that you just don’t want to workout and are trying to cope by placing responsibility to the other person.
“And I got crushes on obese dude and dude shorter than me so don't assume things” - Anecdotes are invalid arguments. The exception to the rule never makes the rule. Try again.
“You're all just searching excuse for justifying cheating on your partner...” - Strawman argument. Never did we remotely imply, let alone made it clear that we are justifying cheating. Just because I mentioned that cheating occurs because of the lack of sexual attraction, doesn’t mean that we are condoning. You need some reading comprehension. Or it seems like logical fallacies are your thing because you cannot produce a single valid argument without twisting the other person’s point and putting words in their mouths. Hence validating why you’re not worth having a mature discussion with.
@jabberjaw Love how she now tries to frame us for justifying cheating. I would love to see her cite where we actually did that. Clearly this girl needs to practise some reading comprehension.
@TruthBringer Seriously why are you obsessed with this seriously? And you could have just erase it, that's what I do when I see there's no point in talking to someone that's the logical things to do. And bringing other people into this? Why are you obsessed by this? Seriously?
And again you're the one that can't read and have bad comprehension skill you just like to insult me.
WHAT'S IS THE POINT IN STAYING IN SHAPE IF THE PERSON CONTINUE TO LOVE YOU? NOTHING ! You all keep being obsessed by love and attraction is not the same things so you're saying you can love someone while no longer being attracted so what's the point of staying in shape? None.
And sorry but you both talk like cheater, exactly the same sentence exactly the same.
And you whine oh we're not talking about face just body, so you like wrinkly people, you're one weird one. You like skinny wrinkly people. Weird dude no logic in this.
Go see a therapist cause being so obsessed to respond to someone while saying oh it's pointless mean you have a brain damage and need therapy. This is worrying. You must be one of those incel obsessing with trashing women for no reasons. Any sane person wouldn't have responded to my comment if they found it pointless they would agree to disagree which what I planned to do but you keep on harassing me.
If that's the lifestyle you want then why not? I personally don't want poor eating habits and lack of exercise to hinder the things I enjoy doing. Usually helps promote a happier relationship for those with similar lifestyles
Agreed. There are some exceptional circumstances, but more or less being out of shape in a relationship in my opinion is pretty indefensible. Like you should have the minimum be adequate, being fat should not be your Norm
Looking at it from a health perspective and your capability to care for her long-term. Isn't taking care of your health connected to making sure you can protect them down the road?
Like if you let yourself go, develop diabetes and now you're a health risk to your family, putting extra expenses on her take care of you while not being able to work the same way you did when you were healthy.
Your action of letting yourself go was direct cause for that problem and you've compromised your partner by not taking care of yourself. And this event is actually more common these days.
Families facing medical bills they can't really afford to handle not from a freak accident but because of lifestyle choices
As you can imagine, from my comments I don't disagree, but I was addressing the immediate concerns of a 30 year old. Incidentally, I once had a 30 year old girlfriend get diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.
Tbh its both for yourself and for your partner. Healthy dieting and consistent exercise are also hallmark keys to being disciplined and driven. It’s pretty much a plus for everyone.
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I don't have a partner, but I am still in shape. I control my intake and do work out when it's needed even though I don't in a schedule all the time. It's not for someone else. It's for me. It's simple as that.
I think yes we should all make the effort for our partner.
Yes I am in shape. Currently I am bigger than what I was in my profile picture.
I feel that. Personally I don't think guys should allow themselves to go past 15% bodyfat because after that it starts affecting your testosterone levels and testosterone affects your personality to a big degree. More than people really understand
It's also super fucking easy to maintain lol 12-15% and if you want to look sharp for summer an easy get to 10% which is also easy to maintain
If your partner truly love you they would continue to love you no matter what you look like if they stop loving you / being attracted to you they don't really love you.
And as far as staying in shape goes nobody stay in shape after 20 years.
Well attraction is not a choice, so I don't know how you can say they don't really love you if they lose attraction. They don't control that
If anything if they stay with you after losing attraction, then that's a bigger sign that they actually love you. Because they're trying to make it work despite losing attraction
If they stop being attracted it's simply because they aren't in love with the person, it's like when a wife get depression and her husband leave her it mean he doesn't love her.
My father got fat, disabled , got depression, etc... but we still all loved him and my mother never left him nobody did.
when someone lose attraction it just really mean they didn't truly loved the person.
Attraction of Love or not the same thing.
Attraction is what turns you on, gets you horny, you gravitate to it in that lustful manner.
Love is often coupled with attraction, but attraction is not love. You love your dad, you're not attracted to your dad. Just like you might be attracted to someone you just met, but you don't love them because you can't because you don't know them
Attraction and love are not the same thing*
It's the same thing.
And in the case it's not there's no point to stay in shape then if your partner continue to love you.
No point to continuing this if we can't agree on basic definitions 👋
"And as far as staying in shape goes nobody stay in shape after 20 years."
- Weak excuse not to stay in shape in your younger years. Also, those who work out regularly and watch their diet will look a lot better in 20 years than their peers who haven't.
Using "love" and commitment from a partner is not a valid excuse to slack off. This is the issue with people nowadays who think relationships are some final destination and thus an excuse to just lay back and put one foot over the other. They are NOT. Because the same people with this mentality often get flabbergasted when they find out their partner is losing interest in them, has already lost interest or ends up cheating. Why? Because people stopped doing that which made them attractive, to begin with.
Love is indeed in the eye of the beholder. But if you'll end up gaining 30 kilos or more in into the relationship, then don't be surprised that the person who loves you will not be interested in anything sexual with you. They still love you, but don't feel the need to get sexual.
So in the end, just because your partner 'loves' you, doesn't mean you should feel free to slack off. Especially if you already were in shape when you got together. If your partner is in shape themselves, then they have every right to make that a requirement. Trust me, if my girlfriend starts to get out of shape because she feels like slacking off, and she doesn't heed my concerns or warnings, I will leave her. That doesn't mean I don't love her. I do. It means I have standards and don't tolerate nonesense within the relationship. And she would do the same if I get out of line because I choose to (and I encourage her).
@alice55 " it's like when a wife get depression and her husband leave her it mean he doesn't love her."
Depression and physical attraction are not the same thing. This is an invalid example to make an argument. Someone who got depression CAN still be physically attractive and even maintain their shape. You are also bringing factors within your argument that someone cannot have control over. I can CHOOSE to remain in shape. I cannot choose to be depressed because of (insert whatever reason). You're comparing apples to oranges.
"My father got fat, disabled , got depression, etc... but we still all loved him and my mother never left him nobody did."
Bringing your dad into the equation when we are discussing attraction within the context of ROMANTIC partners is also an invalid example. Your mother stayed with your dad because of her love and commitment. You can still love someone without feeling attracted to them.
I can bet my kidney that you wouldn't fall for a guy who is overweight, disabled and got depression.
Physical attraction (which is the whole premise of this question) is NOT something you can control. Either you're attracted to someone physically or not. Having a loving bond is not the same thing as what is being asked here.
Like @jabberjaw said, if you don't even understand the basic definitions, then there is no point in having a discussion.
@TruthBringer If there's no point in having a discussion why did you respond? It doesn't make any sense...
And wrong nobody look the same 20 years after, you can have a fit body but an ugly face full of wrinkle and you can do what you want nothing is ever gonna change that. some people use cream or even botox and still look ugly nothing can change that, better have a great face and being chubby than being fit and full of wrinkles.
Guys who are old and are fit have ugly face full of wrinkles usually.
and then if you can love a person while physically not attracted to them then there's no point in staying in shape since your partner would still love you.
And I got crushes on obese dude and dude shorter than me so don't assume things (never been in love with anyone though and I don't like skinny dude).
As for depression I never met someone having depression.
You're all just searching excuse for justifying cheating on your partner...
He probably was reading one chunk at a time and responding. We had a full conversation he had to process mentally
“ If there's no point in having a discussion why did you respond?”
- Because I’ve already started my response only to realize halfway that you don’t even possess the basics of the argument here.
“And wrong nobody look the same 20 years after, you can have a fit body but an ugly face full of wrinkle and you can do what you want nothing is ever gonna change that.”
- Clearly my point went straight over your head. We are discussing staying in shape, not staying young. Someone who is serious about their fitness can be in better shape at 40 or 50 than a 20 year old who doesn’t workout and eats trash.
“some people use cream or even botox...”
- Again, we are discussing staying in shape on FITNESS level, not facial youth. It seems like we are talking chess while you’re speaking of checkers.
“and then if you can love a person while physically not attracted to them then there's no point in staying in shape since your partner would still love you.”
- Sexual and physical attraction are huge factors within relationships. Especially when the couple hasn’t hit the 60+ mark. There is a reason why people cheat with more sexually appealing people. Not that I condone it, but it does show you how important it is to be PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED to your partner. A sexless marriage/marriage with no sexual attraction, is notorious to be a marriage where at least one person is disatisfied. Do some research instead of reaching for excuses to stay lazy. You just want to give lipservice to a basic thing which is that you just don’t want to workout and are trying to cope by placing responsibility to the other person.
“And I got crushes on obese dude and dude shorter than me so don't assume things”
- Anecdotes are invalid arguments. The exception to the rule never makes the rule. Try again.
.
“You're all just searching excuse for justifying cheating on your partner...”
- Strawman argument. Never did we remotely imply, let alone made it clear that we are justifying cheating. Just because I mentioned that cheating occurs because of the lack of sexual attraction, doesn’t mean that we are condoning. You need some reading comprehension. Or it seems like logical fallacies are your thing because you cannot produce a single valid argument without twisting the other person’s point and putting words in their mouths. Hence validating why you’re not worth having a mature discussion with.
@jabberjaw Love how she now tries to frame us for justifying cheating. I would love to see her cite where we actually did that. Clearly this girl needs to practise some reading comprehension.
@TruthBringer Seriously why are you obsessed with this seriously?
And you could have just erase it, that's what I do when I see there's no point in talking to someone that's the logical things to do.
And bringing other people into this? Why are you obsessed by this? Seriously?
And again you're the one that can't read and have bad comprehension skill you just like to insult me.
WHAT'S IS THE POINT IN STAYING IN SHAPE IF THE PERSON CONTINUE TO LOVE YOU? NOTHING !
You all keep being obsessed by love and attraction is not the same things so you're saying you can love someone while no longer being attracted so what's the point of staying in shape? None.
And sorry but you both talk like cheater, exactly the same sentence exactly the same.
And you whine oh we're not talking about face just body, so you like wrinkly people, you're one weird one. You like skinny wrinkly people. Weird dude no logic in this.
Go see a therapist cause being so obsessed to respond to someone while saying oh it's pointless mean you have a brain damage and need therapy. This is worrying. You must be one of those incel obsessing with trashing women for no reasons.
Any sane person wouldn't have responded to my comment if they found it pointless they would agree to disagree which what I planned to do but you keep on harassing me.
you should stay in shape and fit for yourself... your health and your well being
not just to please others
Is it better to be in shape for reasons you deem unworthy, or to be out of shape because you "should" do it for yourself?
you should stay in shape and fit for yourself... your health and your well being
not just to please others
If that's the lifestyle you want then why not? I personally don't want poor eating habits and lack of exercise to hinder the things I enjoy doing. Usually helps promote a happier relationship for those with similar lifestyles
Hell YEAHH.
If ima do it for him. Then I’d want him to do it for me?
Nah not really.
i would sooner be getting an extra degree and promotion with work Bringing in extra cash.
yeah keep fit n healthy but that’s it.
And that's my point, fit and healthy maintenance not jacked supermodel level. Basic maintenance
Yes, you should, and they should stay in shape for you.
Agreed. There are some exceptional circumstances, but more or less being out of shape in a relationship in my opinion is pretty indefensible. Like you should have the minimum be adequate, being fat should not be your Norm
You should stay in shape for yourself first. Your partner second.
Yes, I think you should. I believe I should and I do so.
It's most important to do it for your health and your own well-being, but it's also good to stay attractive for your partner.
Looking at it from a health perspective and your capability to care for her long-term. Isn't taking care of your health connected to making sure you can protect them down the road?
Like if you let yourself go, develop diabetes and now you're a health risk to your family, putting extra expenses on her take care of you while not being able to work the same way you did when you were healthy.
Your action of letting yourself go was direct cause for that problem and you've compromised your partner by not taking care of yourself. And this event is actually more common these days.
Families facing medical bills they can't really afford to handle not from a freak accident but because of lifestyle choices
As you can imagine, from my comments I don't disagree, but I was addressing the immediate concerns of a 30 year old. Incidentally, I once had a 30 year old girlfriend get diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.
Yeah, sadly today overweight is the norm and being obese is common. Diabetes is much more common now and it's avoidable in the case of type 2
Diabetes is in my family and I was made aware of that at a young age so I have added motivation to remain in shape
Very wise
No.
You should stay in shape for you. Fuck being in shape for your partner. Sure, they benefit from it, but it's for YOU not for them.
Would you hold it against someone if they left you because you weren't keeping yourself in shape?
When exercise I'm fat
When I'm lazy I'm fat when
I eat a lot I'm fat
When don't eat much I'm fat
Fact is I'm always gonna be fat and the best I can do is be less fat
yes, you absolutely should do this. Getting married does not mean that you can let yourself go.
For your partner no, for your own health absolutely. Fitness is about self motivation.
It's been my daily lifestyle for over 12 years to stay in shape. Working out and eating healthy everyday.
And if doing it for themselves isn't enough motivation to take action?
No.
I smoke, binge drink and binge eat, and I don't feel any guilt about it.
Tamam
LOL Turkish?
@malwins lmao evet
I believe so, at least decent physical shape.
Looking like a totally physical mess isn't attractive at all.
Tbh its both for yourself and for your partner. Healthy dieting and consistent exercise are also hallmark keys to being disciplined and driven. It’s pretty much a plus for everyone.
No. You should for your own health (physical and mental). Also if you you want a long healthy life so you can see your kids grow up
Nope. But if you want to get laid or in a relationship, yep. It's a little tricky, but a little exercise doesn't hurt every now and then.