Should I get a new therapest?

[Anonymous]

I have always been very hard on myself. It's because I know deep down, I'm actually really, really lazy.

I don't even mean it in a self hating kind of way, I just am objectively lazy.

Anyway the important thing to know is that this mentality of pushing myself has always been what I believe has pushed me forward in life. But this lady I'm talking to is always making excuses for me.

She said that I grew up without love and while I see why she said it, my parents absolutely loved me, they were just crazy.

Sometimes I feel like she just tells me what she thinks I want to hear or maybe she's really just suckering me into paying someone to just waste my time and have conversations that don't go anywhere.

I'm just so tired of looking at myself in the mirror and feeling totally lost.

[Rob1n]

First say the same things you say here to her.
Then if she keeps on giving the same 'excuses' you can definitely try to find someone else. A therapist is there to help you. If he/she doesn't, then find someone who will.

[Lucidlilly]

Yes you should. Without a doubt. The more people you meet, the more experience you get, right?
I was a veeeery late diagnosed ADHD and that made me understand why I, myself have been so "lazy" my whole life. Would that be to say that I'm in a wrong direction?

[D_Bone_Steak]

I don't have much faith in therapy. My wife and I went to a marriage counselor and we basically were told to break up and end it... then she tried to hook up with me online. She was married too.

[JHNS98]

Don't discount an entire diciplin just because you are disappointed with one practitioner. Althoug in fairness to you, I have a similar story:

I was initially there to deal with a love triangle, but [...] we ended up talking about my general love life. My therapist recommended me a book on attachment psychology, which I found very interesting. So much so, that I'm still to this day looking for specialist in attachment, to formulate strategies to progress in my love life based on previous interactions within it.

Me and this first therapist never actually got to any substantial conversations on attachement. Though she did tell me, in our final session, how she could see me and some girl walking down the aisle. Needless to say, that was just empty encouragement like "never give up". She just kept on telling me how nice a guy I was and so on... I was disappointed with that entire session afterwards.

[D_Bone_Steak]

@JHNS98 You're right in that I shouldn't discount an entire discipline. There was a new counselor that I think helped. The new one didn't lust after me, I did stop going and told my wife to "come clean" to at least the therapist and I think she did... and actually finally got told how fucked up her side of shit was. Before that with both of us it was just a he said/she said situation. ... and of course her she side of things gets the points in that sort of set up because it's a she instead of me. Her by herself though... she got called out and I didn't even need to be involved.

Anyways that's another story of mine on how it can go right. That first counselor though was just ridiculus. She was doing the same to a couple that we were friends with (Navy appointed counselor in Japan) and I think she tried to hook up with him too. Swinger lifestyle for her and she just felt it's for everyone... and she got fired before I even left Japan. She was really effed in her thought processes.

[slatyb]

Yes, try someone else.