It’s been over 20 years ago since it happened. I got my first “official” girlfriend in HS. It was the girl who sat in front of me in Spanish class. We weren’t really in love. She was cute but not a knock out. I asked her out more out of a phase of wanting to feel like a normal guy. I also know she wasn’t really in love with me. Other kids were saying “well at least they can use each other”. But we were both like “what the hell”.
Anyway there was a very cute but scandalous freshman neighborhood girl who had a crush on me. She was 15 and I was 16. One afternoon her and her friend came by house one afternoon and flat out said “we want to seduce you”. I resisted at first and said I had girlfriend. But at one point one girl sat almost spread eagle with short shorts on my staircase staring at me. I found myself impulsively touching her and she loved every second. One thing lead to another and then my v card was officially gone.
I felt numb afterwards. Just a rush of feelings. Excitement, guilt, change, etc. I did sleep my girlfriend a few nights later. I confessed (without her asking) what I did and I didn’t make any excuses. She was furious and dumped me a week later. If the roles were reversed I would of done the same.
After that I made a vow to never cheat again and after several relationships and 2 decades later I can proudly say I kept it. What i did back in the day was a teenage hormone driven stupid decision.
However I have hard a time letting myself go during sex over the years. I have been rarely
“all there”. Even when everything is legitimate I always feel this tinge of being scandalous. It’s a faint tint of guilt. Doesn’t stop me from spit it but I am wondering if this incident years ago has had a longer lasting impact than I realized.
Anyway there was a very cute but scandalous freshman neighborhood girl who had a crush on me. She was 15 and I was 16. One afternoon her and her friend came by house one afternoon and flat out said “we want to seduce you”. I resisted at first and said I had girlfriend. But at one point one girl sat almost spread eagle with short shorts on my staircase staring at me. I found myself impulsively touching her and she loved every second. One thing lead to another and then my v card was officially gone.
I felt numb afterwards. Just a rush of feelings. Excitement, guilt, change, etc. I did sleep my girlfriend a few nights later. I confessed (without her asking) what I did and I didn’t make any excuses. She was furious and dumped me a week later. If the roles were reversed I would of done the same.
After that I made a vow to never cheat again and after several relationships and 2 decades later I can proudly say I kept it. What i did back in the day was a teenage hormone driven stupid decision.
However I have hard a time letting myself go during sex over the years. I have been rarely
“all there”. Even when everything is legitimate I always feel this tinge of being scandalous. It’s a faint tint of guilt. Doesn’t stop me from spit it but I am wondering if this incident years ago has had a longer lasting impact than I realized.
