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I would and I voted yes here, but I wouldn't be comfortable with it.
I mean, the love of my life made way more money than me ten years ago as a banker. I was broke and she made about $18 an hour working full time while in nursing school to become an RN (she never made it to graduation). She also had her own fancy warehouse loft near downtown. She was very nice and didn't care who made more money, but I was uncomfortable being in that position and fought to try to finish college even faster, so I wouldn't be stuck as the broke one out of the two of us.
Even if I was female, I'd just not be comfortable essentially being a charity case. That comes off humiliating.
This won't work 99% of the time. there's a study that found most women who fake orgasms simply earn more money than their partner.
That’s crazy! Where is that published?
Opinion
57Opinion
I'd be fine with it, contingent upon the reasoning behind it. Allow me to explain. If my wife had a career in say, engineering, and was already making good money, and was selected for a higher position within her company that came with a significant pay raise as well, of course I would be fine with it and would be proud of her.
Another example would be if there were career and life goal changes within our household that offered her more opportunity and pay at work, while maybe I decided to be a full time father at home and raise the kids. Yeah, that is something I had always wanted to do. But that's because I always like putting my family first, even if in mind only because my job has taken me away from them many times throughout the years. I believe regardless of being a man or woman, a family person always puts their family first.
Where I wouldn't be okay with it is if I was a lazy mooch, not pulling my weight in any capacity around the house, for my family, or in my marriage. I would hope anybody would feel the same.
Reality is folks, there is nothing wrong with opportunity for either men or women in their career advancement. All that matters is what works best for the couple and their life goals. In the end, I believe this stereotype weighs heavy on both men and women because women have the urge to nurture their family, society believes one way over the other, and men may not feel "man enough." Hard to believe in 2023, but it's true.
Yes, a lot of men have this stupid attitude. 🙄 insecurity at it's finest.
There are a lot more ways to be a valuable than monetarily. Often more valuable. Men who think money is what will keep a woman fall short in more important areas. They think quality time, emotional vulnerability and open communication are high standards and too demanding. They will throw money at every problem and neglect her intangible needs and even scoff at her for needing them addressed. Then wonder why their wife is unhappy and miserable and wants a divorce then brand women as ungrateful.
I will take a listening ear and a soft heart over a deep pocket any day.
Yes but many women will just find a richer guy to be with
Ok, well when men keep going for materialistic shallow women because they like the look a lot of them have than that's on them. Dudes always complain about these types of women, and when a real one comes along, attractive and all, they pass her over or even discard her harshly because they want to flex with a girl that makes them look good to the outside world, like a suped up bike or car. So in fact they are materialistic as well. So like attracts like I guess.
Statistics show that women date exclusively across and up dominance hierarchies. You’re stupid for making this comment.
@DeltaCharlieEcho well you can't read since I wrote an entire response about what type of woman does so.
I like the ideal that as long as two partners love each other, it really shouldn't matter. But I really don't know how practical that notion is.. Also a woman who makes way more than me would need to have a character and heart of gold (no pun intended), if that's gonna work. She has to be really humble and sweet.
But not gonna lie. I'd be uncomfortable with it, just because if I ever made her mad enough, even if things were just a misunderstanding, I'm sure at some point she'd throw it in my face that she pays the bills, and would put me out. Or at least, that's what I'd be thinking in the back of my head.
I would really need to know she's not gonna lord it over me at some point.
I don’t care. It’s not like I’d ever be dependent on her. If she made it an issue as some sort of power play or manipulative degrading thing I’d just throw her away. I don’t care about other people’s money, thus I don’t get jealous of what people have. I wouldn’t take on more debt than I could personally handle, so even with a higher combined income it’s not like I’d let her make decisions that made me financial vulnerable. Personally I have no need nor desire to financially support a woman. If she can support herself financially that’s a good thing. If she got snappy and said, I don’t need you, I have my own money and can leave at any time I want... I’d be like cool, there’s the door grab your shit an bounce. It’s a direct expression of her materialism, narcissism, and exploitative nature and I don't put up with that shit.
I wouldn't mind if she doesn't. Money doesn't tell the full picture of a man's status, there are ambitious men with great leadership skills doing "only" 30k a year, and there are lazy selfish entitled men with zero leadership qualities who coast along in a 80k a year job that they got just by playing the corporate game and befriending the right middle manager. The main thing is that my partner sees me as a man with goals and the drive to achieve those goals. The monetary gains attached to those goals is secondary. As long as I have her respect, then her own income is irrelevant to me.
Law enforcement is one of the lowest paying fields. Not as bad as teachers but pretty close. MOST women that work a full-time job are going to make more than me, at least in my early career before I rank up. Same when I was in the military. This was not a problem to me because I learned to use whatever else I bring to the table. Also, just because she is the breadwinner does not mean she pays ALL the bills.
For example, if she makes $75,000 and I make $47,000 (realistic if I am a cop dating a nurse) I would contribute to bills as much as I am able. When I was in the Navy and would stay at my girlfriend's house, she paid rent and cable and I paid utilities and groceries and we split car costs in half (her car was a gift from her dad so she had only insurance payment and offered to pitch in on my car payments).
I voted A because her earning more money is a good thing. But there can be a problem with the psychology of it, and I'm talking here about women, not men. I can only go by my experience and observations and I saw this very thing ruin a marriage. The issue was that she began treating him differently and respecting him less, and it snowballed into a damaged relationship that ended the marriage eventually. THAT I would have a problem with.
All the women who say this is only a male ego problem are either naïve or dishonest.
It really doesn't matter. I and my oldest stister are both the breadwinners in our relationships.
My boyfriend owns his own gardening business so I have to be the one with the stable income which I really don't mind. He makes up for it with all driving me back and forth to work and doing all the cooking. We both support each other in different ways
Yes.
Infact I expect it.
Infact I demand it.
The social sphere in general is a female dominated endeavour. Women are the majority consumers. The market place is a female environment managed by soft skills.
However, I believe the man should be in charge of all the finances.
Kind regards,
DoctorSex
I've been the higher earner, and the men I dated did not take it well. But they also didn't take LIFE as a whole well, either. 🤷
Personally, I don't mind. I figure the more money we have as a couple (still keeping much of it separate but we work out a way to keep it equitable), the better off we are.
And hey, if I get bothered by earning less, it gives me a reason to compete for more.
It's a win-win.
Not at all. It would be redeeming to feel like i wasn’t being used for my earning potential for a change! If being accepted and loved for who you are as a man is important to you, a woman who earns more but is still interested in you is a GD unicorn! Let that sink in.
The idea that how much money is made by each partner would influence each persons perspective of the relationship seems a bit ridiculous. Are we all that insecure? I understand, if our partners are not bringing in enough money to meet basic needs (car, place to live, food, etc) it can be very problematic. But it should not be all end all. Consider this example… The man in the relationship is a brilliant professor with a PhD. Let’s say he works as a cancer researcher. He has dedicated his life to finding a cure for cancer and is widely respected in the doctoral and medical community. He makes anywhere from 60-100k per year. His wife, however, is an investment banker. The average salary for an investment banker is at least 150k. Therefor, in this case, the wife makes more than the husband. With this theoretical situation in mind, how can one think that a man must make more than a woman or vice versa?
While being with a woman who makes more would not bother me personally, I have seen enough relationships like that to not have any interest in it. In every case but one, the woman totally lost respect for the man and started to absolutely resent him. She was super controlling and was really obviously just a hateful person in general.
No thanks.
Literally half of my friends are in relationships where she makes more. I have a completely different opinion than you do.
@This_Is_My_Opinion8 You haven't seen how their marriages end yet. Give it time, my friend.
I will and I won't see any difference. Women don't behave different or love us less if we don't make as much as them. When did you got this 18th century mindset?
@This_Is_My_Opinion8 When I saw it play out firsthand time and time again with my own eyes. All I can do is speak from my personal experience.
And are you sure that was the issue? Money? Were you in their he's listening to their conversations? Do you know if it wasn't the men who felt less because they didn't make as much as their wives and that created problems?
@This_Is_My_Opinion8 Aside from the repeated hundreds of studies that have been done all over the world that say exactly what I'm saying? nationalinterest.org/.../does-relationship-suffer-when-woman-makes-more-money-131657
Statistically, the money troubles are a significant contributor to divorces, so I can reasonably infer that money played an issue. But even if they weren't and even if I didn't have evidence; I could ask the same about you. How do you know that money ISN'T an issue for your friends? What gives you the impression they would even tell you?
Money being an issue is one thing. As yes statistically it is a problem to couples.
But to say that the problem with money is that women make more and so they begin to disrespect their partners is other.
It can be a problem for a no number of issues.
@This_Is_My_Opinion8 But even the idea that the woman begins to disrespect her partner is a statistically common occurrence. This is a thing that we know happens.
I don't know about that statistic. Do you have a source?
@This_Is_My_Opinion8 There are literally hundreds, if not thousands all over the internet. onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jomf.12372
www.marketwatch.com/.../rich-women-like-rich-men-and-rich-men-like-slender-women-2015-09-28
www.kiplinger.com/.../women-who-make-more-than-their-husbands-should-watch-out
theconversation.com/most-couples-are-less-satisfied-when-the-woman-earns-more-131659
It's just one of those things, man. Women and men have different roles in the family, and there's nothing wrong with that.
About that...
The first study didn't had the conclusions. Had to pay to access them.
Second one talked about rich women only.
Third and second one were on my side. Saying that when the women makes more the husband is more likely to cheat and the wife is overall less satisfied because the husband still expects her to do most of the house labour.
Surprise surprise. Of course this will cause disputes. The issue is not that she is not happy because he makes less, the issue her partner reaction to that.
I saw a study I can show it to you that show that women's overall attraction to guys had nothing to do with their status and health. Just give me a second.
www.sciencedirect.com/.../S0092656699922523
Fair enough it was actually a study on dominance. But since the setting for the study was a company the more dominant men also made more.
@This_Is_My_Opinion8 Of course you can show me that statistic; no one is disputing that. That point completely irrelevant to the conversation we're having because respect and attraction are different things. The conversation we're having is about whether a woman being the primary breadwinner in a relationship is more likely to disrespect of her husband and overall dissatisfaction in the marriage.
The statistics are very conclusive in that regard; marriages where the woman earns more than her husband tend to be less happy marriages.
Yes, but the "why" matters. To you the "why" is because they lose respect for their partners.
To me is because of what I just read, en in that situation cheat more and still expect the wife to do most of the housework.
Let me just say that I don't blame men as collective for this. I blame this social stigma that says that we are just men if we make more. Thanks to feminism women are largely letting go of some social norms. Men not really.
One day, I'll be making so much money. If she doesn't already make at least as much as I do, I'll show her everything I know and hopefully that will make us both keep trying to beat eachother.
That's just what a relationship is all about to me, two people making eachother better because they love eachother enough to see all the potential.
That's not a problem, After my divorce, I dated a woman for 18 months. She drove a Mercedes. I drove a Honda. You figure out who made more money. Interestingly, she wanted me to pay for most things, which is one of the reasons we eventually broke up.
Why not? I'm always doing my thing, but if she happens to be awesome at her career and makes more, who cares? The only way it would bother me is if she treated me differently because of it. If she's good with it, so am I.
The findings apparently still say that we as a group prefer to split more or less even.
As for me? I'd be psyched if she made absolute bank. I have no problems at all with that. Of course it does depend a little on how serious we are.
Yeah... Because money doesn't define my knowledge, skill, or personality. If she makes more than me then woohoo, we now have more money to repair what needs fixing and to live more leisurely.
Doesn't matter here, but then again I make twice what my husband makes, but we are working to get him a promotion or a better job, great job market right now to change things up.
Yeah.
My ideal relationship at least in my head, would consistant of being with a woman who's wealthy, as well as one who'd pursue me.
I'd probably have the worry that she'd leave me for someone else however.
Yeah that’s why I’d be stressed. She can go to another guy
I wouldn't care for the most part, but might take issue if she started adopting an unhealthy amount of other masculine traits and qualities.
That's my dream, why not? I'd never date for money but if we're a power couple, that's more fun vacations for us
Would I prefer to be the breadwinner? Yeah because I’m traditional.
does it bother me? Not really it doesn’t detract from me any and I take pride in what I do.
I would not give a shit. If I was married to a woman who made a lot more money than me, that's just less I have to worry about. I haven't met too many women who date or marry guys who make less money than them or support bum boyfriends, though.
I was and it didn't bother me at all. I eventually got another job and was making about as much as her. I eventually got 3 jobs at the same time.
It's just money... Having a job is important. How much she makes, I don't care. No offense, but guys that are bothered by a woman making more money then them have huge egos.
It would not bother me one bit. You saying that, makes you sound bad. It's like you want to put down people to make yourself feel better. It's all in your head. Doesn't make you less if a man or anything. Id be so happy for her.
Sure. It wouldn’t bother me if I had more money than my boyfriend.
I don't care about such matters as long she isn't a prick about it and tries to belittle me because I make less money.
Money is meant to meet needs to survive, not base a relationship on it at least a decent and healthy relationship.
men have bigger egos than women. so it makes sense why they prefer women who make less than them.
This is definitely true in my opinion. Even the nicer guys I dated in the past always wanted to compete with me because I earned more than the.. they got a bit funny about it in the end usually. Kinda misogynistic almost
It would not make a difference. What I would object to is if she constantly made a big deal about it.
Yes, those are good ones to marry because she isn't after your money.
I can't be with someone who earns way lot than me. My inferiority complex has been blooming since I was six.
I'm already there and it sucks feeling compelled to be the provider and not being effective
But you do provide don't you? Not as much as her, but you do.
I wouldn't mind. I like caring for kids and running a house. It would also free up time for me to work out and study more.
As long as I‘m not lazy doing nothing all day it wouldn‘t bother me. Great for her if she makes more. And for me. Why would you make a contest out of it? That benefits no one.
My mom made far more money than my dad. She was a MD. He started off as a professor and then a programmer after his midlife crisis. My mom still made more money.
I wouldn't have a problem with it but I know eventually she would. Women date UP, not DOWN. This is why women dump their husbands when he loses his job.
That's true, the number one cause of divorce is male unemployment.
@KrakenAttackin
men want women who don't know how to do anything more skilled than putting together a sandwich in a kitchen.
As long as her and I are a team and we are working things out as a couple or as a family,... then I'm good with that. If the positions were reversed,... same thing.
When i started my business, my wife made more than me for a dew years. During covid she prob did too. Its fine. My dick didn't shrink.
As long as we’re both living within our means, neither of us is supporting the other.
No thanks,
any man thats dates a woman that earns more than him he has officially lost his manhood.
Wouldn’t bother me a bit. I pull my own weight and would appreciate a girl who helps. Either with labor or money
That would be interesting, but i wouldn't mind it.
As long as we love each other, who cares how much money someone makes.
Its not the amount of money but the amount of effort put into the relationship like both putting in 110%
i truly don't see why this should matter... doesn't this extra money help you too?
Yeah, wouldn't bother me, I'd prefer us to keep our own money while contributing equally to the main living expenses anyway
I am in one. Not because we planned to. Things just happen. Sometimes it s overwhelming but my partner supports me in many other ways
Can I know the differences more or less
I make at least 80% more than he does
Do you still see him as a dominant partner?
he is, we both are in different ways. i dont make decisions alone
I am living this situation right now. It's only a problem if one of you make it one. Just be open and communicate with eachother.
Me making less money than her by however much does not bother me in the slightest.
I a 1000% traditional. Indont respect a. Man who isn't the breadwinner.
fuck yeah but i wanna be a millionaire too so it’d be our own little rivalry
No problem with me for sure.
I couldn't do it. I can't be no "kept" man.
That wouldn't bother me.
I dont really care. As long as both is working.
Why do you like feet? It’s been one fetish I don’t understand
Sure, wouldn't see a problem at all.
Yeah, why would I not?
I make plenty of money so it doesn't matter.
Hell no.. never have never will
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