How to support my 44 year old cousin who has never been married and feels depressed about it?

[Anonymous]

[MrHopper]

Some people feel they need constant relationships or marriage to be happy, but life is so full of wonderful things that i dont think its necessary, sure we all get lonely but its learning how to cope with those feelings and understanding there is more to life

[Anonymous]

Not your "job" to honestly. You can simply remind them that it's better to be single and happy (if they're happy with their life over all otherwise), than in a "bad" relationship. You don't need someone to be happy and shouldn't require that. If you find someone, they ADD to your already happy life, not be the sole source of it.

[Wonderwhat]

You're not therapist it's not your job to do that. The therapist gets paid buy the hour to do that. Just point in the direction to a therapist.

[Asker]

I know that's what I was thinking 🤔 she tends to text too much which is a massive sign she doesn't have much people to talk with. She could also make other changes by losing weight and stop smoking cause guys don't find that attractive. It's sad but rhe world is superficial you have to be the best version of yourself

[Wonderwhat]

She should stop smoking and lose not because of guys, but because she will destroy her body and be disabled and need people to take care of her. She has no respect for herself. She feels shitty like this and doesn't seek help. She's expecting you to be her professionally trained therapist while she's smoking and not getting any exercise and wonders what's wrong with her. She doesn't need to be a super model just go outside for a walk and be health and enjoy her body for herself not for guys.

[Asker]

I just feel bad for her I can imagine being in your 40s can be quite lonely since your friends are married etc yes she does need to sort out her health it's not good to be carrying weight and smoking a heap of cigarettes all day long. I'm thinking she's quite depressed her apartment can be a mess just junk everywhere and nothing clean.

[Wonderwhat]

You can clean her house for her, but It would just be a band aid fix. She needs to want to get help you can tell her what to do, but weather she does it or not is up to her.

[Asker]

I've hit it off with a guy and I worried that she's gonna feel so left out. I agree tho her friends decorated her flat for her when she was away at the weekends. I'm not sure why she became like this

[sheikalana]

Take her/him out of the house!

[Asker]

she's out a lot but I feel bad becuase she doesn't have a partner must be so lonely

[sheikalana]

Maybe she's not doing the right things to find someone.