Why is my cousin who is 44 freaking out she hasn't been married in her life?

[Anonymous]

Updates

+1 y

She is really bad at liking guys that don't like her back

[Thepumpkinhead]

She's 44 and not married. People around her who's her age probably have kids already and are happily married. When she gets in a reunion or something or even when she meets her friend, they're probably repeatingly asking her why tf she isn't married yet and tell her to GET MARRIED FIND A MAN.

She's hearing it so often that she's getting anxious about her life.

[Asker]

Even worse her younger cousin (me) just turned e0 and living with my boyfriend I feel like everything will make it worse

[Thepumpkinhead]

30 or 40?

Is she living with you two?

[Asker]

she's 44 and no she lives in Canada. I'm living in the uk and I've just turned 30 / living with my boyfriend. But I feel she went kinda weird ever since I've started to live with my boyfriend and she kept saying I was all grown up and constantly talking about dating

[Thepumpkinhead]

There's really nothing wrong with living with your boyfriend at 30. She's probably jealous you get to live with your partner now or maybe she's just so happy for you. Depends on her way of talking.

Whatever is, it's definitely great you live with your boyfriend and are starting to settle down. Don't let her get to you.

[Asker]

I thought living together at 30 is nothing special really there is people a lot younger that did that stuff years ago

[Thepumpkinhead]

That's true. Here in my country, couples live together at 21. There's probably a few gossips here and there but otherwise, they die down through time.

Did you live with your boyfriend for a long time now?

[Asker]

We started living together about 4 months ago so we are quite new I've noticed he's been giving me engagement jokes lately

[Thepumpkinhead]

That's really fresh, 4 months is. People around you will talk and gossip. But they'll get used to it and will even consider y'all a married couple.

Engagement jokes, smells like settling down with you is in his mind

[Asker]

I feel like I came into this stuff really late everyone around me settled down early/ mid 20s. I was still single at that age I was just a free sprit traveling and studying

[Thepumpkinhead]

It's not really late. You have your own timeline and you enjoyed your 20s timeline traveling and enjoying your life. Now that you feel like enjoying your life with someone, you'll eventually want to collide.

You can't call it late, I know so many people marry around 30 plus and they still don't have children, they're just enjoying life. I also know someone close to me who's already 38 and she's not even in a serious relationship yet, just hanging around. Still happy.

You only said "i came into this stuff really late" because it's what society tells you. They tell you to marry early have kids and all; to match society's norms. When in reality, we've all got our own timeline, there's no need to feel pressured about something as long as you have fun with your life. My close friend who's 38 is having her best life dating around lol and it's nobody's business, she's happy doing so.

[linka_pat307]

She has to.. I mean by that age I should be retiring after having many children and enjoying what people call marriage...

[Asker]

Retiring at 44 I thought you couldn't until like 65

[linka_pat307]

Everyone had different plans and I want ma retirement shouldn't reach that age so much maybe doing researches on the career and giving others more information and chances to work in the field

[JamesDiaz11]

Because she probably believed the feminist propaganda that "there's a guy out there, who will be everything she wants" and "don't settle," and now all her friends are married and she's just an old miserable spinster with nothing but her job and her cats.

[joeldalton]

Because 44's pretty old to still be single. And children are basically off the table.

[Asker]

I know I'm much younger than her and obviously I wouldn't know what it would be like so I feel hopless. I try not to talk about my relationship with her becuase I'm living with my partner and that would make her feel worse

[Berethor]

She hit the wall both looks-wise and fertility-wise, her freaking out totally makes sense.

[alcorriher]

my great aunt is in her 60s and has never been married

my churchs music director is 45 and recently married.

[exitseven]

The clock is ticking.

[LiamJHayden]

She's running out of eggs.

[Asker]

She kept and keeps going after guys that don't like her back... she's been after this one guy for like 4 years surely she must know by now she is wasting her life

[BarryLiverstone]

Maybe she feel panic that it’s too late

[Asker]

I feel bad reading all her text messages i can tell she is in panic mode I just don't know what to say... I've just turned 30 and living with my boyfriend in our flat I feel I can't talk about it since her situation isn't great

[BarryLiverstone]

If she is sharing all this info then you can talk to her. You should tell her how valuable she is to you and ask how you can help her accomplish her goals

[Asker]

Would you say 44 is old not to be married

[BarryLiverstone]

Old is a relative term. Old for what?

[Asker]

44 and single these are the things she says

[BarryLiverstone]

Has to be more to the story for her to freak out. Follow me and you can tell me all that she had texted

[Anonymous]

She is now a spinster.

[In_Trance]

No idea; ask her why

[Anonymous]

she shouldn't