With an attitude of being 'too broke for a relationship, yes.
People poorer and broker than you for the end of time have figured out how to have loving and lasting relationships, heck even raise families. It just takes talking with each other, negotiating, and being willing to work through it.
To unpack,
1) your expectations to provide: for centuries men have been using this cop out to avoid commitment. Just because you might need to feel a provider, maybe she doesn't. Having a relationship is realizing that you're a team. Maybe you stop eating out and have 30 cent ramen noodle dates instead that she provides because you drove over.
2) the value you see in her:
- it sounds bad, but no one wants to think 1-2 gallons of gas (even if it is $7) is worth more than quality time spent once or twice a month. If she's long distance (hours drive) that is very different than making a short 15-20 minute across town once a week. Break up because you don't like long distance, not because she's not worth x gallons of gas.
I mean don’t pay for each other. Budget together? Get a McDonald’s dollar sandwich and walk somewhere? Instead of like, Olive Garden every night, with a 30 min drive away from your guys’ place and both of y’all trying to pay for both meals, etc. If y’all can’t drive to see each other diff story. If you genuinely love her, then keep chatting and do long distance, with some get-together here and there, until you both upgrade. If you can’t budget with her and vice versa- her leaving you will make no difference to your own economic status. If it’s true love grow together, if it’s sex you want and distance ain’t helping, friends with benefits with someone who’s close to you, but I guess if you’re just not happy with financial status, prioritize that more, so you’re not overly stressed about it. It’s your life bro 🤷♀️
It sounds like the two of you might benefit from getting better at using technology to assist your relationship.
I know that long distance relationships are though.
But if you can't afford to visit her much them that's essentially what you're in.
Try to get a good internet connection for both of you with unlimited data.
Myself I've watched over girls while they sleep, making sure they won't have nightmares.
Talk for hours.
Be honest with each other.
There's remote controlled sex toys you can get.
It sucks not being able to hold your loved one when they're hurting.
But you can manage.
Basically save up those visits for the most important visits, when she *really* needs it, or you do.
Then try to save up so you two can get jobs near each other and rent house together later.
Just tell her that you can't be spending so much time with her and stop spending money on her for the time being. I have a friend who's in debt right now with a girlfriend. He's told her that he needs to focus on his job and how he can pay off his debts. No more dinner dates and what not. You don't have to break up with her. Just, once you get to a good place with money, set aside 5-10 dollars every paycheck for the next time you want to go out with her. The rest of the money, you use it for whatever you need.
I wish you luck and I hope this helps
Opinion
38Opinion
Wow. This shouldn't be what relationships are about.
If you still like/love her, tell her it's pretty tough to come up with gas/travel money to see her, etc. That is her queue to pick up the slack and help contribute more to the relationship. It's not all on you.
But you shouldn't have to end it because of funds. That's not right.
When Obama first dated Michelle, his car broke down on their first date because it was so old, she saw his future potential and stuck around which is why he stayed with her when he became the most powerful man in the United States.
You don’t need to break up with her just because you can’t afford to… like you said, she gets it and she’s on the same page as you are. Just work and assure her you love her even if you can’t go see her as often as you want. It is tough, but things will work out in the end.
Don't break up with her due to this. She understands because she doesn't have much money either. Instead of ending the relationship, just tell her due to your current financial situation, you're going to have to cut back on special money for gifts. Instead, make her stuff. Make her a card, write her letters/notes, etc. Look at your budget and be strict. Use gas to see her, but be wise. If possible, share the expenses a little by having her come to you sometimes.
Now if there are other reasons for wanting to break up with her, you'll have to be the judge of that. Just be honest with yourself and with her. If it is JUST due to the money issues you described, I don't believe it warrants a break up at all.
Good luck! I hope your situation improves soon!
@EarthRealm *You're
And how is a genuine answer funny?
That’s for me to know and for you to dot dot dot
There’s so much to do for free. A huge one, movie night at yours or hers, eat in? Another huge one, video game together and eat pizza? Bike, go to the park, for a walk, etc.
Secondly, get a stable job but for yourself not her. You should want to better your life regardless.
Ask her to meet you half way and take turns paying for whatever (important) you do together
Having a girlfriend (or dating at all) shouldn’t feel like a choir. It should feel natural, like second nature to actually want to be in someone’s else’s company cuddling and eating or talking
Just talk to her (if you care about her) but don’t mention how you considered breaking up with her.
There are ways to date without spending so much money. Focus on the money going towards gas. Stay at home, have movie nights, etc.
If you are always driving out to her, have her meet you halfway. If she wants to continue seeing you, she can contribute some money to your gas fund. I would contribute financially if I really want to see someone and it is causing him financial strain to be the only person contributing.
Is she contributing financially at all to seeing you? Maybe put together a “date fund”. After every paycheck each of you put in 50 cents, a dollar, and when you have enough in the jar, then splurge on something fun. Otherwise, movie nights. As long as you see each other the activity shouldn’t matter.
Relationship isn't about money it's about the connection you have with them and that is free. You can't buy my love I want something I'll work make my own money and buy it for myself. It's not the man's responsibility to provide for everything. At least that is my opinion. I think that people need to put less pressure on men to provide for everything it's ridiculous unrealistic and selfish behavior
Well, given that she clearly doesn’t care that you are broke, then breaking up with her seems like a self-own! I mean, you have found someone who honestly doesn’t care what you can do for her, she just wants to spend time with you, not money. Why on earth would you ever break up with someone who genuinely cares about YOU?
Conversation and spending quality time together is free.. is she expecting you to buy her jewelry and clothes or fill up her tank?
A home cooked meal and movie night at home will save you a lot, and it’s always fun to cook with someone else. Just for example..
Haha this question is funny. And I'm here single struggling to even get a girl to text me. Lol. It's not about money bro. In the mean time try and get a part time job. Keep moving forward and communicate with ur girl. If she is not a gold digger she will understand and support you as well. Relationships is not all about money. Go to the park it's free. Play some sports. Ride bikes. Or build a castle on the sand. Play videogames. There's so much to do
You don’t need to break up with her. Money, although it can be beneficial in a romantic relationship, it isn’t totally needed. If she truly loves you, then she’ll stay with you despite it all! You both don’t need money to spend time with each other. Just do your best and make the most out of your situation! :D
You should choose between love and money. If she genuinely loves you and makes the efforts and is quite understanding what is stopping you from being with her? If you are still in doubt you should write down the pros and cons and re-evaluate your relationship.
Work on getting a stable job, but you shouldn't have to spend tons of money just to have a girlfriend!
It sounds like she already understands, but if you're looking for something serious, you should both be able to understand that times are rough right now.
Good advice
You shouldn't break up with your girlfriend if she still wants to be with you ever though your broke, you should just say "I can't give you nice things as much as I used to" to save money but also she should understand that you need a bit of money each week.
If this wasn't helpful don't be rude about it even though I know there is some nasty people on this site 🙄
Honestly yes. If you can’t get by just for you, you can’t look out for her. Maybe when you’re doing better and can take care of things for you then you can date but until then just focus on you. Im sorry you’re going through tough times, I feel for you seriously. I hope everything gets better eventually.
Maybe cut down the things that you both do together. If you live close meet up at a mural spot by walking or something of maybe spend the night at one or the other if possible to save gas? If u rlly love her don’t let go of her just bc of financial. Or maybe take a break to gain some saving and then get back?
Listen
A girl doesn't want ur money
She just wants to make sure ur ok
Your loyal honest trusting communication
Save up ur money
Do a budget thing
So no don't break up with her and if u can't buy her nothing or if u can't see her for a few weeks due to a money problem and If she throws a damn fit about that drop her damn ass
@countrygirl8754 Laughable.
Yes. Because you're a wimp. A woman doesn't care about your money, and a lot of them would be willing to support you financially during tough times.
But you need to get a job. Whining doesn't work. Cut the gas money, tell her to come over. Go to less expensive dates such as Netflix and chill, which I think she'd happy to. Seriously, you can't live your life on extra money.
If you’re even asking this… let the poor girl go. You don’t love her, don’t say that you do, you don’t. Nuh uh. Shhh.
Set her free to find someone who sees her above all else and wouldn’t consider for a second, breaking her heart, as a way to save a couple bucks… and so you can find someone you can hopefully feel more attached to and who’d make you feel Inclined to fight to keep what you have.
No, if she is worth it she will understand, and support you through your bad times in order to be there for your good ones in the future! and support you in pursuig your goals and passions in the future! Because if not.. what is the point to begin with?
Take turns driving to see each other. Gas prices are stupid high still. Do things that are cheap. Home cooked meals, videogames, TV, boardgames, etc stuff at home. Walks in your neighborhood, bike rides, park, basketball, etc. Don't dump a woman for that trivial reason. Work it out, compromise before even thinking about going down that road.
Relationships aren't about money, hon, it's about people. Figure out some ways to "go in" rather that go out... Sometimes this can be far more rewarding, like if you spend time cooking together with something soft and gentle on the stereo... Avoid having the TV on... Invest in some long stem candles and candle. holders, and surprise her with it all...
Its not about how much you spend on us, it's about how much you think of us.
Anon... delusional. Whether you even realize it or not, the man's money is the fuel of a relationship. Women doesn't even realize how much they cost.
Evidently you have internet access, and likely you have a phone, you can talk to her as often as you like without shelling out on gas and whatever else you are spending it on.
Sure, a long distance relationship is not ideal, but it's better than breaking up with her, no? People managed it in the past without the benefits of modern communication we have today.
Why can't she bus or something out to you? Meet you halfway?
I did that with my boyfriend when we dated.
Or get her to contribute some gas money if she doesn't want to try to meet halfway.
Honestly man I feel ya. I'd say you can still have a relationship even with only a little cheddar. Plan it out. Pick up extra shifts. Make those date nights really count and enjoy them when they come around. Lastly make sure she appreciates the sacrifices your making to take her out.
Yes, go ahead and lose someone that likes you for you. :) see where it gets ya.
For the love of god that can't see sarcasm, it's a 200% no, don't do it. Jesus Christmas
i mean i know its not what you wanna hear but try making more money, only for you not even her;
Life’s fuxked…. That’s so messed that your going through this……………. Omg that’s so messed wtf…… Just keep working hard & maybe throw a piece of bologna in the streets for the ants to fight over and they’ll pay it forward some day.
Sounds like the only one who has an issue with how much money you make is you... Why would you dump your girlfriend for something you personally have an issue with and not her?
Don't cause everyone is having issues with money. That's why I work two jobs. She already told you she understands. There is plenty of things to do together that doesn't cost money
If she is truly still in love with you then I suggest you to stay with her. A woman who is for the money would usually go for someone who isn't broke. Maybe she could go see you instead of you always going to see her
Maybe you should just stop being such a bum and get a better job, or learn to manage your money better. Why the hell would you get rid of her? Do you think you're going to find another girl that wants a broke bum?
If you love each other stay with her. If she loves you as much as you love her she'd understand that you can't buy her stuff all the time. Maybe if she drives she can go to you once in awhile. A relationship is a comprises
Since when does love have a price tag?
There are plenty of activities you can do that don't require money.
Pls don't. If she really love you, she will accept you who u are. Money can't save relationship. Just be open to her if u have problems.
It sucks being broke. I can sympathize. Still, don't break up with her. She gets it that you are broke
You've got a gold digger, not a "girlfriend," kiddo.
Women are expensive, bruh, and this will never change.
The old joke. Brother asks his sister "I have a job and you don't, why am I always broke and you always have money?"
Sister replies "because I have a boyfriend and you have a girlfriend."
@Slartybartfast It's true. Having a girlfriend/wife is like getting double charged for every drink, meal, and trip.
If people spent the majority of their paycheck that comes in, then they'd never save for anything.
Just let her know that she's going to have to pay for her own shit for a while. You're her boyfriend, not an ATM.
I hear you, most guys spend enough on women during their 20's to completely fund their retirement, then wind up homeless at 65..
Yeah, becomw a small business owner, you'll be so busy you won't have the time for dating until you get staff to ease the burden
I do not think so hats probably a really bad idea
There’s a 5 percent chance you won’t take my advice Anyways so I’m not gonna even help you.
No if she loves you she will understand if not dump her
Dude, you're lucky to have such girl... most girls are gold diggers nowadays... you should keep her or maybe she deserves someone better
This won't be the last time you're broke. And no girlfriends don't cost money, they're free. Maybe just let her know that while money's tight you can't spend money where you don't absolutely need to.
@prpleprincess. Laughable.
“ girlfriends don't cost money “
😆
😂
🤣
🤧
😂
@KrakenAttackin They don't. You don't pay to have one. Depending on the circumstances, you may pay money INTO the relationship... but it isn't always forced. If you don't live together, yes, you'll need to have gas to visit. Ideally, you'll alternate that way all the cost isn't always on one person. But, things like gifts and dinners are NOT necessities. You can eat IN. Yes, it costs money to buy the food to make, but it isn't like you wouldn't buy food anyhow. It doesn't have to be fancy. You don't have to go out to movies and stuff all the time. You can watch TV or movies you already have. If your significant other is actually demanding you pay for everything or do a bunch of lavish stuff, have a conversation with them. If they're too high class for you, find someone more appreciative and let them go find some rich person to bleed dry.
@MysticAngel5000 What a load of bullshit.
So you buy girlfriends? 🤔
@prpleprincess. Every man who has a girlfriend/wife is on a payment plan.
@KrakenAttackin You sound like you have a very high maintenance girl... or you've been exposed to way too many of "those" types. We aren't all like that, so don't take it out on females as a whole.
No; don't break up with her. You love her, don't you?
This is not meant to be rude, but are you really that dumb?
No, if you love her, and she loves you, stay with it.
Don't worry about money, she doesn't mind it so she loves you.
If she understands the situation, don't break up with her. I've never even had the fortune if having a partner. You should value that.
Yes. And send her to me. I may let you have sloppy leftovers.
Short answer is yes. Money is always better than women
I'd say break up with her while you still have a chance. Focus on increasing your income.
just need to find cheap things to do and maybe cut down on visits
Well money does matter. Regardless of how much people will lie and say its about love and the person blah blah blah
You don't need money to have a girlfriend.
How far away does she live?
You can't buy genuine relationships.
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