It's complicated, need help: Should I break up NOW?

[Anonymous]

Hey, I deeply trusted him, never questioned him. We're in a long distance relationship, for 3 years already; and we're closing it in 6 months. Also, we'll meet in August, things are already planned. But just recently, he deeply broke my heart. He told me he was considering breaking up in August, because he needs physical connection and he struggles to feel it. He told me he wants to check it if it's working and decide afterwards. I felt deeply betrayed, because I feel like an experiment participant for his senses. Plus, I have a very difficult situation in my life: my father got stroke, I left my job for studies, I gave my last cents to plane tickets to see him this summer, and he made this big surprise. He apologized afterwards, told me he made a mistake by telling me this, he cried in front of me and told me he loves me and wants to make sure if it's for long term and the doubts are natural (I agree here, but it was hurtful still to hear it now as I'm having a stressful week, preparing for a major university entrance exam in a week). I trust his guilt, but now I'm having doubts: will he be a strong back for me? I thought he was, he never failed previously and I did not expect this from him at all, I trusted him deeply. I feel like I need to break up now and see if he's for real telling me that he loves me. He always tells me he's so happy, he was telling me a day before that he was going to buy a house next year for both of us and was waiting for my test results.. And the day after this happened. My heart is shattering. Should I talk to him again or should I take a break/break up to see if he's really right for me? If not, what should I tell him to realize he damaged my trust towards him? I need to decide now, because I'm making major decisions in September to live in his country or somewhere else. I don't want to wait to know in August what will happen, it makes me suffer.

[Anonymous]

Why is your trust and heart shattered? It’s not like he lied to you and used you, he just shared how he’s having a hard time with the distance. After three years of nothing physical or in person, it really weighs a lot and he seems to just be trying to explain this to you. If you’re heartbroken and devastated over his honesty then maybe you should break up and focus on school. But unless I’m missing something, he hasn’t done anything wrong to warrant feeling so used and betrayed.

[Asker]

You are right. I have this bad trait: ride or die. It's certain for me, or I'm out. We have never broken up by the way, and during those 3 years we visited each other multiple times, and we had sex of course, but only when we managed to meet.
I just fear that I will continue like nothing happened in my life and then he will break up with me in August, if it's not satisfactory for him. It just feels wrong on so many levels, because we'll meet for 10 days on August and for physical intimacy, it's not even enough. i am planning to live with him from 2023, and he knows it. But he 'expefimentimg' breaks my heart.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe the decision right now is more in your court, then. Trust me I get a lot of what you’re feeling: you are committed to the relationship and want to know that he is rather than wait for this meet up to happen and for a final decision take place afterwards. But it’s not always that easy for some people (like him) and that could be a deal breaker in your eyes. If it is, then be honest with yourself and end it rather than wait for him to make the decision. If you’re planning to uproot your life to for your relationship and move to another country, then you deserve to feel like he’s in it 100% rather than all his confusion. So while I don’t think he is necessarily doing anything wrong by having doubts, the timing sucks and you can’t make plans for the future based on what-ifs.