How does one talk about their mental health with their partner without breaking down or blocking them off?

[JaxiCats]

I’ve been really depressed lately and I’m finding it hard to talk to my boyfriend about what’s bothering me… I tend to just shrink away…I’ve been having breakdowns in the middle of the night making it hard to sleep and when I’m with him I feel like I have to distance myself emotionally otherwise I’ll hurt him (he’s very emotional when it comes to my well-being and if I’m upset he picks up on it) because I can’t explain why I feel that way.

[melanieeeB]

Uhm honestly If I can't open up to someone, I take it as a sign that I shouldn't lol but cause I know that i can open up, I don't know how it's with you
Anyways I would say really slowly and maybe writing it down first, for yourself and getting an overview of what you wanna say.

In the end tho you shouldn't make it your partners problem, sure share with him if you feel comfortable but in the end I would more recommend a therapist, someone professional

[JaxiCats]

I have a therapist but lately I’ve been breaking down over the loss of my sweet cat and that bond was really important to me (as important as my bond with my boyfriend is cuz my cat was always with me when I was feeling alone) my relationship with my boyfriend isn’t unhealthy but that bond with my cat hits me hard and it’s been almost 2 months

[melanieeeB]

You probably need more time to grief probably 🙏🏼

[JaxiCats]

Definitely but I feel like I need another cat (not only for me but my other cat too, he started pawing at the mirror in my room and wanting a lot of attention but I’m scared if I get another one that something will suddenly happen to it or my current cat. I still don’t know what or why my cat passed away. He was fine a day or so before or at least I thought so and now I’m scared something will happen and I won’t be able to prevent it or get my cat to the vet.

[NathanDavis]

have you ever tried to open up before... with family, friends or a therapist? or someone online?

[JaxiCats]

Yea but it kinda gets forgotten about or kinda dismissed by family m, I don’t have many friends and my therapist is trying to help but half the time when I talk to her my mind is constantly running making it hard for me to focus on my thoughts and emotions

[NathanDavis]

how long have you been with your boyfriend?

because these things tend to become part of the relationship, and it will involve both people... and it is a risk you might have to take, for you to be helped you need to be willing to get that help, and to be open to it

[JaxiCats]

We’ve been together for a year and a half. My communication with him is a lot better than it was but a lot has happened recently, I’m being treated differently by some family members and stress of not having the necessary things as well as trying to get a new job which I’ve had no luck, losing a cat, my boyfriend’s mom passing, and just a lot of shit happening all at once having me want to give up but I can’t tell him that because he freaks out about me.

[NathanDavis]

yes, I know how that can be... as I have experienced similar situations but

if you close up, that can damage the relationship, deteriorate it and eventually could bring it to an end

if you open, that could also strain the relationship and make it as difficult, but maybe not... you're not sure if you do not try

and maybe he can get himself to be able to deal with it better when he sees you trust him with it, and he could support you in this situation, as all couple should do anyway, support each other

you could at least try... maybe you break down the first times, but it could get easier as you try again

[JaxiCats]

Yea it has but with his mother having passed it’s a lot harder to get a hold of him when I want to open up…thanks for the advice/pep talk

[NathanDavis]

as for therapy... you also have to find a way, and to be willing to really go into the roots of it... if there's actually a cause, if it is a series events, or if it is more of something in your brain, your mind, that's getting in the way

at least you should try to identify that part of the issue and try to work it out