If a man works & his wife/girlfriend doesn't, what should be expected from her? What duties rank even to full financial support?

[Swede16]

I've heard this argument from both sides over and over of how spouses don't feel appreciated for their efforts. Most couples both work nowadays but there is still a ranking system factoring time, wage, title, responsibility, etc. So for simplicity, in a home of 1 working and 1 staying home... what are the basic expectations required (cleaning, wage, cooking, sex, kids if any, decompression time/hobbies, chores, time spent together/dates)? Or anything y'all can think of... I DONT WANT TO READ BASHING!!! I WANT REAL EXPECTATIONS. WHAT DOES HIS OR HER CONTRIBUTION EQUAL OUT TO?

[Anonymous]

Well, my wife works as a clinical psychologist and I stay at home. We have one kid and a second on the way, so I make sure they're fed, clean, played with, taken to school etc. I clean the place, make sure she's got something nice to eat when she gets home, and then we watch tv together or we all play with the kids because she doesn't get as much time as she'd like with them.

It always depends on the couple, but for us, it's a changing dynamic. We want to make life as easy as we can for each knowing what we need to live comfortably, and both of us try to do that every day.

[JDavid25]

Well, just that I can come home to a clean house, and a sexy loving woman after a hard day's work.. And that any bills or house repairs that need to be taken care of is in her good hands. If we have children, that she'll keep them safe, sound, educated, and happy little bundles of joy.. And I expect her to enjoy her time also.. I'm pretty easy to please.

[JDavid25]

Thanks for MHO!..😊..

[BadGirlGoodWomen]

I was a kept women for a good 4yrs I didn't have to work as he brought home enough money to support the house.
My duties were :
1. Doing the weekly shop and getting any bits n pieces through the week.
2. All the cleaning, house work and garden jobs.
3. Do the animals.
4. Cook dinner every night.
5. Making sure all the bills were paid on time.
6. Make his work lunch for the following day.

[FilmGuy93]

Taking care of the house, the kids, managing family social functions. The biggest thing for me is that the woman brings me peace in life. I don’t think women always realize this, but a woman who brings me (and I would assume this is true of men in general) a feeling of peace is so valuable and rare to me, that the simple fact she makes my life better is enough to justify giving her whatever she wants/needs. I’m serious when I say that. Make my life more enjoyable, and I will dote on you constantly.

[Hydrogen]

I work in 12 hour shifts and I run a business also so I wouldn't mind a meal in the evening during the week, I'd cook over the weekend when available. Definitely her taking care of kids as a biggest priority due my work. I'm not really into old fashioned woman must cook, clean and bend over style of life so I'd prefer a working intelligent and successful wife over a housewife. Of course, sex would still be a thing with lots of exploring and new ideas to compensate for the time spent apart.

[Swede16]

So be specific... what ideally would you want and give?

[PeteBy]

The only thing I'd expect is the house to be clean, or at least no worse than when I left. If any bills, repairs or telephone calls need to be made that don't require me then she could do that. In a loving relationship, sex is part of it but she may have had a bad day, so would understand if she wasn't in the mood.

I'd appreciate if she cooked but not expect it.

[TonyMetal___86]

I'll only marry a girl who adores becoming a housewife...

What would i expect from her other than doing her role as a woman and as a housewife?

[Swede16]

Which is?

[TonyMetal___86]

The things that you have listed above such as: "house chores, cooking delicious meals, raising the kids... etc"

Sex and family quality time aren't considered duties because they come from love and affection!

It ain't like i'm paying so you get down there and do what needs to be done! Cause this woman is my wife not my h*e'

[Swede16]

Ok yet still you use "etc" as an open ended assumption of what you consider that role. When you are the solo bread winner, it is generally assumed you will make enough to live comfortably. So on that end, what is comfortably to her, to you? It is assumed both parties will be sexually faithful. However this grey area assumptions of one's effort over another is one of the leading reasoning behind infidelity.

[TonyMetal___86]

What do you mean? If i'm the bread winner does it give me the power to treat her like a slave or maybe cheat on her knowing that it's hard for her to ask for a divorce cause she can't make it up on her own since she has no money?

I'll never cheat cause i'm a faithful man, no matter how much power i have, there's no room for cheating, also you have to understand the meaning of a real holy marriage!
My future wife will be my other half and god will make us as one person and she will be mt family and the mother of our future kids!
I'll work hard outside cause it's my responsibility to provide food and shelter for her, she does her role and i do mine "traditional gender roles"...

No room for infidelity at all, i'll see her as the only woman on earth for me!

[Swede16]

You base your entire rebuttal on one sentence i made and ignore the rest and its connotations. Of course in most traditional marriages both parties should remain sexually faithful. But you have yet to define what amount of career labor (bring home pay) is equally valued for what career stay at home amount of effort?

[TonyMetal___86]

What do you exactly mean? Can you be more clear?
Do you mean that the more paycheck the husband get paid the more the wife have to put efforts in the house to equal the value of what her husband is bringing at home or providing for her?

[Swede16]

Yes. That is exactly what I mean! A man puts in a full 40hours (most occasions plus that) and comes home to unacceptable standards for his work. Likewise an unhappy wife bitches at him for his disregard to her day at home.

[Swede16]

Or a woman does all the cooking, cleaning, child care, schedules, and all around admistrative parts... while you simply judge your relevance from working.
So a delivery pizza husband deserves the same as a CEO?

[TonyMetal___86]

Yep they deserve the same, i'm not going to raise my future wife based on measuring what she's offering me in return!
She does her role which is simple and clear and i do my role simple and clear!

If was middle class or rich or a billionaire, i'll still wait from her the same and she will keep doing her role the same no matter how much i earn from working outside...

Ofc there are minimal requirements, such as the husband should be able to pay the bill and bring food to the table and he wife should keep the house clean and cook delicious meals...

[Phoenix98]

Depends are we sharing a house in this scenario?

[Swede16]

Whoa.♡ Pheonix98 u want to? Jk jk hahaha. I apologize. What would you think in both scenarios? Living together or separately

[Phoenix98]

Lmao your good.

If me and my partner were living separately then I really wouldn't as much care since it wouldn't really be affecting me. Though I'd still want her to have at least a part time job so she'd have her own money.

If me and my partner were living together then if she ain't working then she can cook the meals and keep the house clean, sex, keeping things in order because if your not gonna work and be at home all day then you can at least do that if I'm working full time. Because your not gonna sit around all day doing nothing while I'm working.

I think that's pretty fair.

[AlperEngin93]

I want her to sex and do housework take care of kids and more

[pizzalovershouse]

What ever they decide on

[Swede16]

What would you deem even?

[pizzalovershouse]

Equal share of house cleaning not less they hire a house keeper

[Alex8736]

Do they live together?

[Swede16]

Good question. I was assuming yes they did but what would you say for both answers? Again very good question...

[Alex8736]

If they live together I would hope the one at home would at least contribute to possibly cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. For someone like myself that works 12 hour shifts I usually wiped out when I get home