Also, do you feel it's innate and obligatory by nature for you as a man to provide for a family.
And ladies, how important is it for you that a man be able to provide for the family?
I'm not a fan of stay at home parents in any regard, though I understand the practicality. I'm also childfree so I never have to worry about it.
So, for me, it's important the other partner has a career. If only so they aren't just sitting on their ass playing video games all day.
Seasonal work is fine, too, if they prefer work like that. I have a friend whose husband is a beekeeper in the harvest seasons and sahd the rest of the year. They have a child, so it works great, and while he works she sometimes takes time off to stay home herself.
So I think if we make it work, it's not a problem. I think a man's contribution isn't limited to financials. Men can contribute to home labour just like women historically have. In the past, women simply didn't have the right to work, so marrying a financially well off man was the only way to live.
Now that patriatchal bullshit is making modern men suffer needlessly, as the single thing (financial stability) they were seen as needed for is no longer exlusively male. So instead of being able to count on finding someone just because they had money, men now have to be good people and partners, too.
Men need to contribute more in a family setting than money, anyways. Fathers are needed to raise strong kids, just like Mothers are needed. Fathers have experience, lessons, wisdom to share that isn't just their wallet. Dads can help around the house, share the mental effort of owning and running a home, and provide well more than just financial support.
To reduce a partner just to money is foolish. But it's equally foolish to accept a leech into your life. So it's a fine line to walk.
Poor uneducated women would care more about a man's finances more. Poor women are also much more likely to become gold diggers than financially stable women.
But I think its more important for women to find a financially stable man because if they both had a baby, it would likely be HER that would need to stay home to take care of the children while he works. Therefore, it is important that a man need to make a decent wage.
Its very unrealistic and entitled for a man to insist on having children, but yet criticize women for preferring financially stable men. Because children is a lot of work, men take it for granted when a woman needs to give up her job or work part time just to make having a family possible.
You can't be broke yet expect to have a stay home wife and children. Lets get that straight.
Love and Family are 2 different things.
If I wasn't financially independent, I would never be open to the idea of starting a family. It's about the money. It's about can you raise a kid to be ready for life. How can you say someone can raise a kid when they cannot even figure out how to be financially independent. Most people don't even earn 50k and those people think 50k is a lot of money... They also think money and how you spend your days have to go together... Work is for the love of it. You earn money by providing large amounts of service. Anyway, I just couldn't do that to my kid. It's just too selfish.
For romantic love, NO money is required. It's only when you add kids to the mix.
Lastly, I want to quote the older gentlemen below, he said something marvelous,
{{"Only women were liberated from traditional gender roles. Men are still trapped by women’s expectations of them."}}
He also said, when looking at survey results, that women often still expected the man to earn more than them.
I'd really really really rather be in love with a girl who is okay with having or not having kids. Because then I know it's 100% about our love and not because they want kids.
It’s not “obligatory” per se. There IS a tiny minority of western women who don’t want to have kids. There is another even smaller minority of western women who are content being the breadwinner and letting their fellas be a homemaker and whatever else. But the vast majority of women do want kids and since they are the ones who bake and birth the rugrats, and need time to recover physically and nurture the infant in its earliest days, we evolved to a place in society in which most men have to be capable of protecting and providing for vulnerable women and children during that time. It’s a quite simple, undeniable fact of evolutionary biology. I’ve also seen multiple surveys that suggest the majority of modern women, children or not, still expect their potential mates to earn more than themselves. So even if it’s not for purposes of fostering a family, men are still expected to be capable of providing. Only women were liberated from traditional gender roles. Men are still trapped by women’s expectations of them.
Wow those last 2 sentences were powerful and thought provoking.
I think you are mistaken. For a variety of reasons. There’s a difference between women who don’t ever want to have kids and women who don’t want kids “now” or can’t yet see their future with kids. The former is around 2%. That’s a pretty tiny minority. That’s the minority of which i speak. Your personal experience doesn’t contend with research that includes hundreds and sometimes thousands of women.
www.psychologytoday.com/.../the-truth-about-women-who-never-have-kids
The girls I met in 20 said they never wanted to have kids ever in their lives. I met 4 in just 2 years. I didn't even need to go searching.
And Its not 2% of women who do not want kids. Its more like approximately 12%.
Not all statistics are accurate because there's is no real accurate way to measure the exact number of women who do not want children because these numbers are gauged from small subset populations which is significantly smaller than the actual number of people on earth.
More and more women just don't want children: 'Kids are expensive and sticky'
www.businessinsider.com/women-dont-want-kids-birth-rate-love-fulfilling-life-2022-4
Growing share of childless adults in U. S. don’t expect to ever have children
Among parents and non-parents alike, men and women are equally likely to say they will probably not have kids (or more kids) in the future.
www.pewresearch.org/.../
Opinion
20Opinion
I don’t mind making $ for the family as long as my man takes care of the house and family while I am out there. Housewife/husband are as respectable as any other job because they have their hands full all day and not getting paid for it! Now if my partner is on his ass doing fuck all all day when I get home to a dirty house, kids crying snotty nose and dirty diapers and no warm food to feed mama? Oh hell no. 🤣
Very important since I like being a stay at home mom I don't see any other way it could work besides being traditional and having the man provide
Reminds me. I know woman who was like that. She had a baby and the dad was out of the picture. So she created a business from home and was able to not miss her sons life. She is a millionaire now, all from home.
@Apple1996 I wasn't suggesting you be her. That's your belief system talking by the way. It's protecting your ideas. I wasn't comparing her to you. Just thought I'd share because it reminded me of her and to expand your mind. The point of being a millionaire is not to be a millionaire. It's who you become and that person you become can pass it on to everyone around you. All her siblings are millionaires now and not because she gave them money or something. Her son was able to go to any college he wanted. He was able to go to the best private schools. The money also gave her freedom from dumb jobs and dumb house choirs. Etc etc etc. She didn't miss anything and has an amazing husband now. That was her vision. Yours may look a little different, maybe you want to homeschool your kids like some other GAG users but if you wanted to earn just 5/6 figures or above and not miss a beat you could. Saying you couldn't is your belief system. I'm not saying you should do that. Follow your dream/plan, not hers. However, realize the way you think might not be how things truly are. Lastly, happiness is not based on environment nor what you have or don't have. That includes money; that includes having a complete family or not having one. Happiness is an inside job.
@77five yes the other working parent is still missing out but it's not as bad cuz they still have one parent to lean on.
And my kids I've taught to be independent so they aren't on me all the time. Especially since I have lots of kids time has to he spilt up.
It's more that I'm here for them when they need me. My kids have been known to cry for their dad when he's at work. It's extremely sad. I would feel terrible to leave them as well and then they feel completely abandoned and probably be crying to a daycare teacher instead. Daycare shouldn't be raising kids. A parent should be.
@Apple1996
4 is a lot because vast majority of families barely have the money to raise 4 children. Having a lot of children is a lot of work and will take a toll on you as you get older. Its not something most people want to take on.
It’s kinda important for me and both me and my boyfriend have agreed upon the importance of careers in our relationship. He wants me to find a career that will allow me to be financially stable and he wants to be financially stable himself but realistically I probably never will because I change my mind often and I can get bored easily of doing one task constantly. Im not asking him to be the sole source of income but I am asking for support in any job path I choose. One day I would like to be a home body and stay at home most of the time and focus on my passions like pottery and art and if we have kids to be invested in their activities and interests. I would do that like after the kids are like 8-10 and up cuz that’s when they are really starting to get into their interests and stuff
You should become a life coach for women. You can do so through Peggy McColl's company. She will teach you how. You can also do it through Proctor Gallagher Institute as a consultant. That may sound scary but if you look into it, I assure it isn't. Some 23 year old girl earned 300k in her first year. Peggy McColl is a millionaire and never has to leave home unless she wants to. Her business can be done anywhere. You could be a destiny's coach under her company. However, I think it would be your company they would just show you how to do everything and you'd be allowed through certification to use their coaching material. You could also start creating/lauching programs and or materials made by you in addition to their material if you wish. She is a New York Times best selling author as well and mentors other authors if you wish to do something like that as well. She mentors everyone no matter what they are interested in. Same with PGI and their consultants.
I know that was all like... I don't even know you lol but maybe you've been thinking inside the box. So welcome to outside the box. I know everything I said scares most people though, even though they could do it. Bye bye. Good luck in life.
We live in a society where the 1950s "men needs to make the money" doesn't work. Everyone is struggling financially in this failing world economy, especially in the United states failing economy. If a man has income, that should be enough to help support in the relationship. Sad thing is relationships nowadays are more sex & party focused instead of getting to know each other and enjoy life together focused. I see way too many people jumping into relationships after hooking up, then having a toxic relationship filled with abuse and drama...
It's funny women like confident guys. And I don't have an extensive dating history. So I met this one woman on a dating app. and when she asked me about my lack of dating history I told her at the time I didn't feel I was established enough to support a partner. While I am now, I look back at that age and think how silly that attitude was. The simple fact is life doesn't come with guarantees. You can get sick, a lucrative job can be lost, a recession can happen. But a guy with character always has character. And a guy with character will NEVER quit fighting for his family. To support them, to take care of them.
Doesn't matter. She took it as I lacked "confidence". Doesn't matter that I have a high 6 figure net worth. And she couldn't end the date quick enough. But I'm kind of glad she showed those colors before things got serious. 🤣🤣🤣
I wouldn't start a family until I was in a position where said family could be adequately taken care of. And yes as a man my natural instincts do tell me drive me to protect, provide and support for my family.
But with that being said money isn't everything and there's more to being a husband or boyfriend then money.
As a woman I am more than capable of providing for myself, my choice in partner has nothing to do with how much they make.
I chose my partner based on who he is not how much he makes. I’m with him because I want to be not because I have to be.
I feel like I do. My girlfriend wanted to get married after only a year of dating and our families and friends insisted we got married too. It was all too much pressure for me especially because I didn’t have a great job and we had to do 50/50 with the bills back then. I didn’t feel ready for that until I knew I was absolutely ready to take care of her and us. Even though she doesn’t want to be a stay at home mom I still feel it’s my duty to take care of her and our future kids
both women and men have to be independent financially in a relationship. if you are gonna get married or wanna have children and you are in bad financial situation seriously don't do it. Not yet...
Apple1996 did it and it worked out for her. I think your belief system typed that message. However, I would want to be financially independent or 1%. 400k+ annually. Ideally 7 figure+.
@BUTIMRIGHTTHO I'm a bit confused 🤣 I don't know who is apple1996 but I guess some people manage both marriage kids and and not having proper income but I want to be stable and offer the best I can. Just recently someone I know states that she wants to cut ties with my friends and I die to family probs and financial situation and that her decision is final. 🤷🏻♀️ I don't know that person is the type who also wants to have kids and already takes care of her sis kids but is no place to do that. So I stand with what I said. And I don't have a belief system I have a mind that allows me to do critical thinking. not a robot. Your income goal could be different from my income goal. But all in all I want be comfortable be able to travel and have some free time.
Dude... your belief system controls your logic... People laughed at the Wright brothers for trying to fly... Ford's engineers said the v8 engine couldn't be done. They told him it was impossible over and over. I can go on and on. Marconi's friends got him locked up in an asylum because he said he could send messages through the air. People thought black people were subhumans. People spent MILLIONS trying to figure out how to fly. Everyone said it couldn't be done and then two poor bicycle mechanics from Ohio decide to try and they figure it out. People said planes need wings... They don't need wings... They said the earth was flat. The 4 minute mile couldn't be done... Now there are middle schoolers doing it. Apple1996 is her: @Apple1996 she is a stay at home mom. She did it. I never said both parents could not be yielding money. That may be what you're confused about. I was addressing your comment: "both women and men have to be independent financially in a relationship." Clearly both do not and apple1996 is a prime example of such and I imagine her husband is not only yielding money but is financially stable. Actually I dont even know what financially stable even means. Stability is an inside job but that's another conversation. Anyway, the 1900s are full of one parent providing the money while the other stays home.
I'm not saying to be like Apple1996; I'm just saying she is a good example to help you open up your mind a little. You should still want what you want but realize other ways are possible too. Others ways that even lead to the same stability or freedom.
I'd like to be able to, but not being able to wouldn't stop me from committing to someone. That's like not going fishing because you don't have a boat. Just stand on a dock or something. You can still fish.
You don’t know and would never understand why We we’re all given our own body our own consciousness and our own Gender
And I’m not going to explain it if your going to Wear a Suit at least be smart enough to tell the difference between Morals and an illusion.
Not gonna kid myself. It's tremendously easier with money than without money.
But in no way do i associate having money being a requirement for relationships.
That's my problem. I'm extremely insecure not having enough money to take care of my future wife, and kids.
It's devastating psychologically.
Been there, done that. Except I am childfree and not marriage oriented.
I have resolved my insecurities by letting it be. So long I am not settling for low standards.
When I met my husband, we were both unemployed. Money has very little to do with anything if you love each other.
This is just commonsense if you can't provide for ya fam, why create one.
No sense bringing mouths into an equation that don't have food to feed them
What's important is if he believes in God and that Jesus Christ died for our sins.
Well due to my circumference I have no education or income, I wouldn't care about his money or career but as long as he love and respects me, I wouldn't ask him for anything especially about money.
I voted, "As a woman, it's very important the man is financially and career set for me to be in a serious relationship or marriage with him."
Why you feel that way?
I was born into a very traditional Christian family. A man is supposed to provide, lead, and protect. I can't see myself having children with a man who is struggling. That means we all struggle. I dont want my future children if I have any to go through that. I'd also like my kids home schooled and to be home with them
If you want a family, its mandatory that as PARENTS, you provide for the kids. Its not inherently the man or woman’s job.
m I would not be a deadbeat parent... that's for sure
Most people will never be "financially set." What's important is to be there for your family and do whatever you can to provide for them.
I gave importance to the financial aspect simply because I want to have a stress free marriage. Money matters in the future and can affect my kids, that too
The ability to privide is kinda the whole point of what a man is.
Nature made it so
I have seen too many dead beat men with great women and the men doing nothing but the girl working full time supporting him.
Absolutely important to me.. as the man of the house I feel it's my responsibility...
Due to my schizoaffective disorder, I feel like I can be in a serious relationship without being financially set. I’m very delusional.
This is a foolish pipe dream in this day and age, Women want careers not families.
if the woman makes more it probably won't work out in the long run
Why do you say that?
@BUTIMRIGHTTHO like 80 years of longitudinal data on divorce rates
My goal is to start dating in my 30’s
Why so late?
Ideal time
I dont want a family of my own.
I voted A
Condoms exist, bro.
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