My relationship with my long distance ex was rocky. In the beginning, I did a lot of things for him to feel at peace within the relationship. I stopped posting pictures on social media, erased my past pictures, cut off male friends, stopped going out with friends if there were males. Then he started complaining about my clothes (no crop tops), then he didn't want me to go to the gym. He would get paranoid every time, let's say, if I forgot to update him with pictures one day. If someone looked at me in the street or hit on me, if I told him about it, he would say I was making eye contact or trying to flirt, but if I didn't tell him, he would consider it a betrayal. It was drama and chaos every two days. His twisted paranoia could even reach the extent of asking me if I was having sex with someone while being on the phone with him.
I actually understand he was suffering from these pervasive thoughts and insecurities, but he was inflexible and wasn't changing. He told me that him allowing me to wear skirts or shorts in summer or work with males was a big change already, and that I shouldn't be pushing him into more changes if he was unable for the moment.
However, after some days he told me he found a new girl, who respects and loves him more than I could. And that he actually doesn't have the need to control her and make her obey. That he has been working on his control issues while I haven't had enough patience with him (I was 2 years on-off dealing with that). It hit me tremendously because I had been a really self sacrificing girlfriend, always reassuring, always updating him, always calling him even if I was with friends if he felt insecure, always accepting whatever he unleashed on me, and I really really loved him. And nothing mattered in the end
It doesn't help when I read stories about how other men who considered themselves control freaks entered into a new relationship that helped them work on their trust issues.
So is this actually possible?
