Why is it that older guys hit on me?

Question

And I'm not talking about a couple of years older, I'm talking about men in their 40's, 50's, and 60's (around my parents age). Why do they think they have a chance with a girl who is 21? I definaltly definitely don't give off signals to them, but they STILL don't get it. I tell them I'm not interested and they say I'm stuck up or 'I'm just trying to talk to you' or 'I just want to be your friend.' Bulllsh*t...you and the rest of them :/ But it's not just recently this has been happening. And obviously this has been hurting my self esteem.  IT'S HAPPENED BASCIALLY WHEN I WAS ONLY 14! What is WRONG with me? Why don't guys my age show any interest in me? Am I seriously only for middle age men? I mean, WHAT is WRONG with me?

TigerRoseBear · Accepted Answer

In what scenario would they hit on you? Like, where and how would you know them? No offense whatsoever meant towards you, but I find it tough to believe that 40- to 60-year-olds hit on you when you were 14. Maybe they really do just wanna be friendly. I really find it hard to believe that 40-year-olds would hit on a 14-year-old. Anyway lol I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but you should consider the possibility that you read them wrong and that they were just being friendly and not flirting.

Lol, about a year ago my brother was volunteering for something (he was 20 at the time), and he was around a lot of like 50-year-old women. And they were BLATANTLY flirting with him, haha, like calling him "Mr. Muscles" and saying "No I want him, he's all mine" and calling him handsome and stuff lmao. But it was all in fun, so there wasn't anything wrong with it (it was a bit weird though). The women weren't bad people - they were really nice. They were just having some fun. There's nothing wrong with my brother either. And there's nothing wrong with you.

Why don't guys your age show any interest in you? Well, there are a number of possibilities. You could be too introverted or seem like you're not interested in them. You could simply not hang around many guys your age. You could hang around guys who aren't confident enough to hit on you. You could just not realize they're hitting on you when they really are. Soooo many possibilities. It could be a mixture of them all.

Hope this helped a bit.

a319dr · Accepted Answer

There is nothing wrong with you...You need to remember the basics...I know a girl who is 21 and suffers the same issue that you do...She like you is very mature...unfortunately guys that are 21 to about 24 have the mentality of a 17 year old...while you have a mentality of a 28 year old...women mature faster then guys...you are just in a "rut"...Older guys...when they hit 40's they want to live their 20's again and chase 21 year old women and have fun...I work with many who do this...Men in their 50's I think go through a mid life crisis...so they too want to relive their 20's...men in their 60's well they don't want to admit they are getting old and have a fear of getting old...so there dream of finding a mature 21 year old woman...and help them feel "young" again is their ultimate dream...You aren't doing anything wrong...You will find someone around your age...when you see a guy you like...flirt with him a little bit...the older guys...they just want fun or to feel young again...Good Luck :)!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

i thought I was alone! so relieved I'm not, I don't know my guy friend told me that its because some girls when you first meet them give off an immature party girl vibe (his words), but that some are already the total package:sure of themselves, grown up, fun attractive, so they think you're potentially trophy wife material...

can you answer mine please? (health issues)

for the past 6 months I've been going through uncomfortable and embarassing health issues. I'm treating it but it will be a year before everything is back to normal (thats what the doctors said). I normally love school I (was) a staight a student loved seeing friends, but my condition made the whole experience unbearable to the point where I would ditch school to avoid being uncomfortable and embarassed. I stopped doing that because I know its stupid, ect, but this year is my next year and I know that if I have to g through another whole year like that like no.. I'm crying thinking about it- not the teachers friends and homework part- but being uncomfortable.. I tried just grinning and bearing it last year but it resulted in me being embarassed, ridiculed and failing one class, id like to do home school- how do I bring it up with my parents?

ALWAYSclassy · Accepted Answer

If you are shy or kind of serious then you might intimidate guys your age. Old guys want to hit on any young pretty girl because they figure "why not?" there's a 50% chance you could either say no or yes in their mind so they figure why not increase their odds at getting a young girlfriend.

It is not your fault, this is just them and I can believe them hitting on you when you were 14 because there are a lot of perverts and pedos who just don't care. As long as they are attracted to you they could care less about your age or feelings on the matter.

Keep in mind that you don't have to entertain every man's advances. Learn how to act standoffish when you are confronted with unwanted men. This way you don't even have to engage with them and hear their excuses or complaints. And look more approachable to the guys you DO want

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Some people "give off" a more mature...vibe? I have this problem as well. I speak quite clearly (not poshly) and my father is a scientist, so I know more grown up things than the average 18 year old. I don't feel 18, I feel much much older, but I generally have people who are older than me be attracted to me.

So you ever act immaturely around people? Immature for you I mean, not for them. Besides, people only want people with maturer mindsets for a bit older... most people want careers early, and children later. I wouldn't be surprised that if in a few years time, you get more attention from men you're age. They'll be closer to you're level then.

Just a thought! :)

12331 · Answer

I guess we're all not alone.
I'm losing my faith in finding decent guys my age who aren't in serious relationships already. I'm 24 and moved to Norway one year ago. Literally quit my job recently because I was sick and tired of guys in their 40s+ coming in the store to "hang out" with me , grilling me questions about my personal life. There were enough idiots in their 20s as well. Some people are nice but then I wonder if they're actually nice or just know not to say disgusting things, while still having disgusting thoughts. Because even a few guys I trusted (Teachers, married men said "we all need to look for one another" stuff like that) turned out to want more - after a few months being things like , "I deserve a hug from you before I go" and "I'd like us to go on a weekend trip together". To anyone who may think I was reading to much into it- I got comments on my body and looks weekly to the point I hated turning around to get something because of how men would grin or look at me, and I wore a big uniform jacket to cover myself. There were regulars at the store that would hang there an hour, and said things like " I'd love to be in that hammock with you" when I shared my weekend trip plans, "I can tell you're very fit (looking me up and down)", "have you ever... a black.. ?" and when I was done working at 4am he said he'll give me a ride home and we'll have coffee/hang out. I declined and said I'm going to sleep when I'm done at work he said that's even better. (Those last two are the same guy who's 27).

I do believe men hit on you at 14 because when I was 12 at a birthday party I was too shy (and self-conscious) to join my friends on a group photo and the photographer said "The shy girls are always the wildest ". At the time I thought it was gross but now I knew adults should've been informed of this guy who takes photos of little girls for a living.
There were of course plenty of guys that seemed genuinely like good men. But I'm at the point where I'm so sick of unwanted attention that when someone seems like a nice attractive guy my age, I don't flirt because I assume they are tired of unwanted attention too. Lord knows many women out there are disrespectful towards mens' personal space as well.

Personally I'm just not being as sweet/friendly/trusting of everyone I meet.

grnylw51 · Answer

in your pics you look very pretty there is nothing wrong with u...i work in retail and I myself am 21 also and I get hit on by the old guys who come in the store all the time buying stuff I've worked there over 3 years when I first started the job at 18 I was a little weirded out but now I'm used 2 it I don't make as big of a deal as I did when I was 18 if they make advances towards you just pretend you didn't hear what they said and then say I have 2 go and leave asap b4 they have time 2 say what they did again that way it gets you out of how 2 get out of their comments I don't know it works 4 me a lot may work 4 u! good luck!

MaxwellSmart · Answer

I get hit on by older and younger women, I don't mind it, it only bothers you if you let it. As for me, my heart and mind belong to a single girl so unless the compliment comes from her, I don't really pay attention to it. Thing is, she never compliments me, she just makes fun of me and tells me I'm annoying haha.

Anonymous · Answer

1. You're ridiculously hot/gorgeous and look like you take care of yourself, which makes you intimidating to guys who don't feel that they have something over you. It's a simple matter of reducing the risk. A guy isn't going to bother approaching you if he doesn't feel that his chances of getting a positive reaction and a phone number out of you are upwards of 80%, and for him to be reassured he has those chances, he has to hold something over you. Otherwise the risk is not worth the reward.

2. If you don't come off as a social butterly or someone who lives the life of a party, you won't have very much in common with people who are your own age and they'll be able to pick up on that from you. You will have more in common with guys who are upwards of 30 years old.

Anonymous · Answer

i think it just happen for many girls...since I have asked the same question some months ago. so just don't worry about that. I'm 21 and I have the same problem as u. once a 60 years old men was offering to marry with me in a grocery store :D!

or they even come to me while I'm with other young guys...like once I was with my guy friend and a 80! years old man came to us to tell him that how lucky he is for having a girl like me, then when found out that we are not in a relationship he said he wished he was younger! :D

so I concluded that its what happen for many young girls, maybe becoz such men just want to flirt and have fun and they don't have anything to lose.even if they are rich, they will get some results at the end too !

debsman · Answer

I'm in my 50's and there would be no way I would hit on a 21 year old. As I see it I could get more action from a woman in her 30's or 40's due to them having more life experience, than I could with a "girl" in her 20's. You flatter yourself too much. Get over it. Just because an older guy looks at you doesn't mean he wants to date you.

InquisitiveMale · Answer

Because you're an aphrodisiac and you have large breasts. You intimidate insecure men and that is basically sums up all the young ones. It seems that the older you get, the more attune you become to what you like, and the less you care what others think.

ltmcneill · Answer

happens to everybody...i see them hit on little girls waiting at the bus stop for the yellow school bus...pervs!  I don't even talk to them , I just walk right past them.  I had one come up to me and say " wow your pretty, what are you like 16?"  I am thinking " if I look 16 (which I do look young) WTF are you talking to me, pedofile?...lol so ignore them!

vitabella · Answer

i have the same issue. I'm 19 and iusually gt men in their 30'sand 40's and the occassional 60 year old, but I work at a restaurant so if I want a tip I just gotta go with it.  They tend to be really good tippers though so I don't mind.  just today I had two middle aged-men give me a $25 tip on a $60 check.  Just embrace it, go with it. Sooner or later the younger guyswil come, trust me.

SunSeeker · Answer

I get hit on by older women as well, for me I take it as a compliment that I'm mature enough to hang, as for you though they're probably just being horn dogs. I understand if you would be offended, but I don't think it should make you insecure in any way.

Anonymous · Answer

Because men for some reason think they get better as they age.  WRONG.  No more so than women.  Some women like older men but they are few and far between and most are only using these older guys for their money.  Unfortunately, for older guys who like younger women, the competition is pretty tough so they either need to start hitting someone their own age or accept they may never find someone younger.

Anonymous · Answer

I felt like that too, at the age of 16. Older guys(pedophiles) hit on me and they honked at me and still do! Usually like older white men, older black men and older Hispanics. They be trying to hit on me in spanish. weird I don't speak the language. Don't let it get to you.

Anonymous · Answer

same thing for me... a lot of guys will say you should be flattered! but its not like that, I mean these guys are so not attractive/creepy and it makes me think there's something wrong with me... guys my age never approach me, I do look older than my age in my teens people thought I looked 20 something. but still, I am a cute girl, I have a unique style and I am more mature and laid back than the women my age, so maybe that's why, I just wish it was hot older men!

Anonymous · Answer

I get hit on by older guys way more than guys close to my age lately. Honestly, take it as a compliment, I know I do, because I like older guys. If a lot of older guys find you hot, the younger ones probably just do too but are intimidated for whatever reasons. Older guys have been around longer so they're more confident and ready to voice their own opinions. Some older guys are real scumbags but the ones I meet at work aren't bums and they have class so I take it as a real compliment. Don't let it bother you, they obviously think you're attractive. Just ignore it and take it as a compliment. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

yesnomaybeidontknow · Answer

The older men get, the more bold they act. I live in Florida (lot of old folks) and everybody knows why the phrase "dirty old man" exists. These old guys don't JUST hit on you, they hit on everybody.

slipslender · Answer

nothing's wrong with you. their behavior is just odd... no idea why guys your age aren't approaching you, doesn't make much sense. but don't let this affect your self-esteem- the fact they're all hitting on you shows that they find you attractive.

Anonymous · Answer

Lol. You're not the only one. I met a lot of men that way that paid my bills lol...I was always satisfied. Just keep telling them no if you don't like them lol. Maybe you're mature and guys our age think you're like straight laced or a party pooper. (I'm 20:)

sportdistant · Answer

yeah I think you should take it all in stride, plus you do look a little older than 21, you can kinda pass for 30 (judging from those pictures,) please don't take offense to it, you are hot. :)

Anonymous · Answer

That's probably just relative...you just notice that all the guys that hit on you are older, because guys on your own age ran away after seeing you!

Let's face it, you are ugly...

And older guys take advantage on that because they don't care if you'r ugly, they just care that you are young.

My advice to you...marry a really rich old man while you are young because your looks won't help you for sure!

AbnGrl · Answer

I have experienced the same thing growing up, and still do. It really brought down my self esteem, but I just don't take them on anymore. I just tell them they're too old.

Why is it that older guys hit on me?

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