Is it ok to take your partners phone and look through it?

[Anonymous]

There was somethings in the past on his phone so I take his phone every week to see if he is clean. And unless he deletes his messages he is clean. We are married.

Yes

No

[ConspiracyTheorist]

As long as he can do the same I see no problem with it... now awhile back I found my wife going through my phone while I was sleeping and I'll tell ya it pissed me off but this is why it pissed me off, we were fighting a couple weeks before that and I was trying to talk to her and she wasn't listening because she was busy messaging and I said what's so important that you can't listen for 3 minutes? And she said texting so I asked can I see your phone and she said yes then a minute later said no because she afraid I'm gonna smash her phone which I would never do but anyway it pisses me off that I could t see her phone but she going through mine when I'm sleeping? That is bullshit.

[Chris_Morgan]

I think if both partners in a relationship agree to be completely transparent and give each other full access to their phones it's a beautiful thing. Otherwise, I never checked any woman's phone unless she was showing MAJOR red flags of cheating. I actually did find out I was cheated on that way before. These days I don't really trust anyone so I'm not even gonna bother checking phones or anything anymore.

[MoniqueTLC]

That can become extremely unhealthy and toxic for your relationship. If you want to progress and move on from the past you need to be able to trust him. It's going to have to take some work from the both of you.

It won't be good for your wellbeing to constantly have to check his phone, and he might start to feel like you can't move on from it

[_Just_A_girl_]

If you thought he was secretly a killer or something

[abc3643]

You may be married, but you won't be married long.

It's not that he's going to cheat but that he's going to discover your deception and clandestine behavior. He will then lose all trust in you and consider you a potential enemy and your marriage will be over.

So, get used to that idea. Soon.

I am serious.

It's not a question of if your marriage will die - only when it will.

[20yearsolder]

I don't think it's appropriate at all. If you don't trust your boyfriend or your girlfriend then you probably shouldn't be with them anyway. If you do it because you're insecure about yourself then you need to work on yourself and not worry about what's in their phone.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I don't believe in touching people's stuff i. e unless I ask sometimes with exceptions of my mom and grandma.

You touching your man's or woman's and snooping around their stuff shows a lack of respect and that you don't trust such a person to be in your life so it's best just to get rid of them.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

*phones

[Havthrills]

If you have to do that, then it's not a relationship. He's either an asshole and you're making sure he's straight. Or you're controlling and so he's scared of you. Which one is it? Doesn't matter cause the trust is gone. No trust, no love.

[Nikki1989]

Only guilty people have a problem with sharing phones.

[Lyndsielee666]

Sounds a whole lot like you’re invading his privacy

[Kuroz090]

Why would you need "privacy" unless you were doing something that needed to be hidden?

[Lyndsielee666]

@Kuroz090 I’m sorry you feel that way.

[Kuroz090]

No like... can you answer my question? Why?

[Lyndsielee666]

@Kuroz090 if you have to go through someone’s phone there’s obviously no trust there first of all. Second I pay my bills and shit from my phone, mine and my children’s medical info is on there that no one needs to see. That’s just me though 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Kuroz090]

... So you're worried to show your "husband" your phone, or of fear of him seeing your medical history and personal bills? Really? That's so moronic. As for trust, better to be safe than sorry. If they refuse to show you, more than likely, they're cheating.

[Havthrills]

@Kuroz090 sounds like you've been through it.

[Kuroz090]

Nope not personally.

[Havthrills]

@Kuroz090 as someone who's been back stabbed by 99% of the people I have known, lied to, manipulated, etc. I have huge trust issues and I don't trust someone asking to go through my stuff or even sneaking through it. It means that person has no trust in me.

[Kuroz090]

Then that's an issue you should sort out yourself. If you did nothing wrong, then there's no reason for you to be afraid.

[Havthrills]

@Kuroz090 afraid? I didn't say I was. So you're saying your girlfriend or whomever just grabs your phone and starts going through it, through every part of it. Then won't give it back for about 30 minutes, that person trusts you completely? You would think she has 100% trust in you to just go through your stuff?

[Havthrills]

@kuroz090 never said I have anything to hide. It's the person going through my stuff that I won't trust again cause she doesn't trust me.

[Kuroz090]

I would think the normal thing and tell her to ask me first to go through it. Then I'll give it to her. If she's feeling some distrust due to some stimulii, which is normal, being open will rectify that. If she knows my phone will be an open book, she'd have nothing to worry about in the first place.

[Havthrills]

@Kuroz090 ok. So you don't think she has no trust in you?
@Lyndsielee666 sorry to blow up your feed. Lol.

[Kuroz090]

No. Just a minor curiosity wouldn't mean she has "no" trust in me. It just means she has this intuition that something maybe wrong with me or I'm acting a certain way. Regardless, if I'm doing nothing wrong, why would I be against my life partner seeing my phone?

[Havthrills]

@Kuroz090 how about a life example. I was with a girlfriend. After a couple years she would look through my phone once in a while. Nothing to hide, I didn't care. About 1 and half years later, I found out she was cheating on me the whole time. She was going through my phone to see if I was or knew about it. That way she could pin everything on me to blame me for it all. I never went through her phone.

[Kuroz090]

Okay. What's the question based on that story? My conscience will still be clear. I'd have done nothing wrong.

[Lyndsielee666]

@Havthrills you’re fine (: dudes on a sick one I’m not even gonna waste my time responding to him Lmfao

[Kuroz090]

I despise the attitude of people like Lyndsie. They can't make their reasons clear and resort to snarky remarks and personal insults. Grow up. Act like a civilised human being.

[Havthrills]

@Kuroz090 wow. Ok. Again, I'll ask, you, you fully trust someone that doesn't trust you enough that they go through your stuff? You really think that person trusts you?

[Havthrills]

@Lyndsielee666 yeah. I'm done. He has no clue.

[Kuroz090]

Sure. If symptoms of distrust pop up, better to clear it early on rather than let them wait it out, bubble up and get worse. Also, it's okay if you're done. But I'll have to say, your arguments were not convincing at all.

[Lyndsielee666]

@Kuroz090 what insults did I throw your way besides saying you’re on a sick one. I’ve got better things to do than argue with you about privacy. Take your own advice and grow a pair bud.

[Kuroz090]

Cool. It seems like you're both done. Good day.

[NathanDavis]

sounds like being on probation rather than a relationship...

no trust at all

[nawtee_me]

If you don't trust him you shouldn't be married, get a divorce...

[Zolly99999]

No it is not ok... it's an invasion of privacy..

[Anonymous]

That you feel the need to look is the real problem.

[jimmy2]

It's ok to ask and if it's handed to your parents gen look

[Anonymous]

yes, even without permission, do what you feel if you have a hunch

[LazerBean]

Boyfriend or girlfriend, no.

Spouse, yes.

[UniquelyBasic]

As long as it goes both ways.

[exitseven]

Everyone i entitled to an expectation of privacy.

[AsaKyo]

I wouldn't do that to them

[Wise4myage]

Only with his permission.

[maximumpower]

Nosy bitch!!

[Anonymous]

Psychopath.