Should relationships be 50/50 ?

[soz11122]

A 50/50 split means that each person gives the exact same amount of themselves. I would like to be treated fairly and share responsibilities of the relationship. But does this mean to be 50/50 or something else ? What do you think ?

[ArchivalMars2]

I think that a lot of people in general but women especially say that they want a 50/50 but don't really mean it in the way it sounds. I think most women want a man who treats them kindly and respectfully while also giving them loyalty and honesty. But at the end of the day, I still hear the same problems unfortunately which are when some women who chose to take up the whole pay most of the bills and plan the dates only to become resentful and disrespectful to the man they are with even when they claim their okay with taking up that role while the man does something else entirely.
Other problems I hear about consistently are when a woman gets a raise/promotion at work and starts out earning her partner and suddenly believes that she is better than him solely because of financial gains. If that wasn't bad enough they decide to leave due to a lack of feeling financially secure in this case and date another man that is outearning her even if the man she is currently with treats her the way she likes.

In a typical scenario, it usually goes like this: the man should be paying the majority of the bills/dates, trips, gifts, and other things. Meanwhile, the woman chooses either to contribute in her own way, maybe that involves taking care of the home, pets, food, maybe even laundry. Maybe when they go on a trip somewhere a woman only has 1/5 or 1/3 of his earning potential but she chooses to pay for as much of the holiday as she can on her end. At the end of the day this scenario doesn't sound bad but let's be honest that isn't 50/50, now maybe both parties are doing their absolute best to do their parts but the lineup doesn't paint a picture of equal work when it comes to duties in the relationship. I've been fortunate enough to not have to face any of the problems that I mentioned above but I have met coworkers and even friends who face this issue and unfortunately, it isn't uncommon. Personally, I don't think there really is such thing as a 50/50 relationship when it comes to men and women, and if there is I haven't heard of it. I've met a few women that claim their relationship is 50/50 but when I ask them describe it to me again it doesn't sound like it.

[Finchie40]

A relationship only works if 2 people know how to remove selfishness for each other, accepting each other’s flaws , flaws that don’t jeopardize the relationship and making each other your number 1 priority , accepting that you can’t always be right and they are wrong , resisting temptations for each other and staying loyal and faithful to each other , it won’t always be perfect, but you communicate and compromise with each other before you jump to conclusion that they are wrong and you are right , when you wear each other’s shoes before you make a decision , that’s where respect comes into play and what makes love grow , If you can’t do that for Your partner then don’t get into a relationship , you will just be wasting Your time and theirs , when you set boundaries in a relationship that goes for you as well , If
You tell your partner you don’t like them doing something that effects you , understand that you also have to remove that as well, it has to go both ways for it
To work or you will both be butting heads resenting each other , Most people do not know how to do this and then they wonder why they are single again , it’s because they don’t know how to remove selfishness

[Aerissa_Jade]

No it should be each giving a 100%, as 50/50 makes it sound like each person is only giving 50% of themselves to the relationship. It takes both to give a 100% to make it work.

Both need to give it all, if one does not then the other will resent them and it will end.

[PizzaPieMamaBear]

Depends what you mean by 50/50 I should do the cooking and cleaning and caregiving and go should do the protection and providing.

[DaveJord]

In an ideal world, yes it should be 50/50. But rarely is, you will always have to give more in one area, and the expectation is that they will give more in other areas. So, it comes down to how much value do you place on the things they do for you and is it worth the cost of the things you do for them. Knowing that nobody will ever do all the things you would hope for them do, but is what they do, do matter enough to you keep doing things for them. Love is transactional, and it's not always measured in terms as easy as dollars and cents.

Most the time you do things for other people, and you place a higher value on the things you do, then they place on it. Whereas they would do things that they would hope you would do more for them... so it comes down to love langue and you acknowledging the things that they do and them acknowledging the things that you do.

[Guy13]

Real life is not an equitable 50/50. If one expects that then one should not expect happiness

[Avicenna]

It’s up to the couple to decide what works for them.

[Summeroflove]

Probably. Not into one sided

[xJeremyx]

No. Strong relationships are based on giving out of love not out of desirr for reciprocation. There will be times where you are putting in more effort than your partner, and there will be times your partner is doing more than you are. And thats okay. You just need to keep communicating in a healthy way, what you both think is the best way to split the responsibilities.

More importantly, never stop giving, and never stop letting your partner give to you. Keep giving to each other, and making your lives better.

[AdithyaR]

That's kinda impossible to do all the time.
First off, i believe it should be a 100 from both.
But the realistic thing is, you can't always give a 100, you're gonna have down days, maybe you're depressed or you're feeling ill, or you have financial or career trouble. In those moments the other partner might have to pick up a bit more.
Relationships are about helping and supporting each other even when you can't immediately get anything back. You do things for them cause you like seeing them happy.

[Adam1978]

That's an impossible standard there will always be an imbalance. If you can't accept that and do your fair share, your unfit for a relationship. If you start counting what they do and measure it, your not in love your looking for an excuse to bail. Because you will always value your own actions more than your partners, simply because you can't see all what they do, while you see everything you do. So your measurements will be biased.

[inhua]

in an ideal world yes but this isn't an ideal world and chores need to be split. for example a pregnant wife can't be doing any heavy lifting activities and a husband can't breast feed a baby.

even though parenting should be 50/50, only a father can teach his son how to be a proper man and only a mother can teach her daughter how to become a proper woman and that's assuming 1 son and 1 daughter in the family, not just 2 sons, 2 daughters or an odd number of kids.

[Looksnicholas]

I feel like sometimes the true or desirable is 60-40 or 70-30. Lol. For whatever reasoning, like, I don't mind if one partner wants to or insists on doing more than less, provided it's never like one partner feels taken for granted or the other partner feels like a servant or vice versa and so on. I think I've lost where I was going with my opinion here, sigh, lol.

[zayndan]

I think relationships should have balance. doesn't mean that responsibilities has to be shared exactlyequally, but neither person should feel stressed, or over burdened. I think most relationships a catered to women and revolve around them. And society has cultured men to accept this as normal, at least in the western world.

[Twalli]

You can't know how much behind the scenes the other person is investing in your relationship. You can see how many behind-the-scenes things you are investing in it. You will assume that you are doing more because you can't see the things he's doing beyond the visible.

[VanillaSalt]

The problem is you expecting me to do half the house after a 90 hr work week. Telling me to do the dishes when I hate doing dishes. And especially not appreciating what I do.

[Chazmatazz269]

Not necessarily. As long as there is adequate communication so that both people know what to expect, a perfectly even split of everything isn’t necessary. Frankly, it’s not likely even possible.

[TheSpaceGnome]

If you sit there counting how much effort you put in, instead of delighting in making the other person happy and spending time with them, it's the wrong person.

[CA4444]

I don’t like the idea of keeping tabs or tracking how much I give or how much he gives, I guess it should be 100/100 :)

[BCRanger10]

Marriage is a 100/100 relationship. Dating prior to marriage is determining if that's what you can and want to give to that person for life.

[CallmeTheKnight]

No, they should be 100/100. Why give 50% to each other when you can give 100%? You wanted the relationship, so you gotta make it work with faithful consistency and respect like you imagined it.

[PainusNdeeAnus]

No they shouldn’t they stifle masculinity and femininity by making them equal which will ultimately lead to you being unattractive to one another

[Anonymous]

Roughly yes but that doesn't mean each delivers the same services to the relationship. It also varies over time. At one point, one may offer more, at another, the other does.

[FilmGuy93]

Ideally. But I don't think they have to be perflectly 50/50, to be healthy.

[Sparkie460]

For a relationship to work and last each partner has to give 100% to their partner. It's different than each partner giving 50 percent

[Jamie05rhs]

The way you phrased it -- "gives the same amount of themselves" -- is 100/100.

[bubblegunnn]

If u mean equal, then yes ofc

[Agape93]

50/50 or nothing at all.

[Anonymous]

No I’m say 100% equally.

[BJP21]

50/50 or take turns, its worked for me.

[justFriend]

you shouldn't expect this :)

[In_Trance]

No that will never work

[Anonymous]

Nope. They should be 100/100

[JDAC092299]

Yeah I think so tbh

[Luopio27]

Yes, 50/50.

[jimmy2]

Yes they should be