How would you define a 50/50 relationship?

Question

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

I would not define a 50/50 relationship.

Using the expression "50/50 relationship" implies that there is a running accounting of what each partner contributes to the relationship, and that is a reflection on whether the relationship is "balanced" or "fair." There are several problems with this concept.

1. How do you measure the relative contributions? If Helen cooks the meal tonight and I wash two loads of laundry, how do you score those contributions?

2. Who does the scoring? Me, her, or some third person? If I do the scoring, I am aware of every little thing that I do, including all those times that I keep my mouth shut and don't express what I am thinking; however, I'm not aware when she is making those efforts, so of course I think I'm making more of an effort. If she does the scoring, she has a similar bias. And there is not any third party who knows enough to keep the score.

3. Is it always supposed to be 50/50? What if I am temporarily ill or disabled? What if she is depressed because her father recently died?

There are many more questions that could be asked, but this should be enough to illustrate the problems with keeping the score. Instead of keeping score, these are the questions that I think should be asked:

1. Are you getting your needs met?

2. Is your partner getting their needs met?

3. Over the long term, are you both satisfied with the relationship?

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

50/50 is when both partners split anything that they share equally like rent and other expenses as well as chores. In the case of food, partners can split groceries, but should handle what they eat for the most part. It's the same with makeup. The man isn't using it, so the girl should pay her own makeup. And the man should pay for whatever he uses alone. This is more so the case of personal hygiene and recreation. If they go on dates, if they both want to go on the date, then they should go Dutch. The man pays for his food and the girl pays for hers.

CallyKat89 · Accepted Answer

I don’t think a straight 50/50 relationship is possible. Let’s be honest, women and men need different things from their partners. And those needs vary from person to person. Women on average tend to make more of an emotional investment and express this through how they care for their partner. In most cases, women expect reciprocation of that same level of care. How can both partners be equally loved and supported all of the time? Eventually, something will have to give that will throw off the 50/50ness of the relationship.
Besides, when a woman is pregnant, she will be facing physical, emotional, and eventual financial strain that a man will never experience. She will have to temporarily put her career on hold to have his children. Her body will never be the same. She will miss out on potential earnings/ wages from her job. How is that 50/50? How could that be 50/50?
We can’t forget about the division of labor and gendered roles. Child rearing will likely fall on the women as well. How can you split something like that equally?
I would define a 50/50 relationship as a partnership where men and women split everything down the middle. Household labor, finances, you name it. Relationships are partnerships and I think that they should be treated as such. People need to stop approaching relationships as a ledger that has to be balanced.

_Maya_ · Accepted Answer

Play to each other's strengths. You can't look at everything as equal. We all are good at some things and bad at others. If you just compare "I can do this and that better" it is a skewed view. You have to learn what each other are good at and let that help the relationship. I don't care if I think if I'm bringing something to the table and my partner does it better. Then he or she can do it. I think that is when you truly get to 50/50. It's when you both do what you're the best out and not try to outdo each other. Just be happy that you have someone that is complimentary.

IAMRIA · Answer

An idea that only exists in men’s brains. Mostly it’s financial. Both pay equally for everything

Okay now there are men who get that it’s not about finance and will cook with her, clean and do all those chores.
But there still can’t be perfect 50-50 because one will eat more, one will buy more snacks, one will turn the heat or ac more and will end in equal bill. So it’s really stupid.
If we talk about modern marriages, where both spouses work, they should not keep track on finances, and spoil each other.

LaurenM1997 · Answer

They do some of the chores I do some of them too we go on a date it’s a split the bill we go food shopping we spilt the bill there too cause half of the stuff is mine we have takeaway food we split the bill there too if I buy stuff that the guy doesn’t use then it’s my bill to pay

GuyAnswersGirls123 · Answer

I see it like give-give, not give-take. No one keeps count or track of who did more. There's no need since both give frequently without expecting anything in return.

NathanDavis · Answer

a good fair balance and more than anything... reciprocation in most ways...

the kind of balance that comes when both are genuinely committed to meet the others' needs because they want to make them happy rather than out of obligation

electromagnetic · Answer

It’s not 50/50 though. It’s what each person can bring that day.

JacobJordan · Answer

A failed relationship. Both are only putting in half the effort. They should be doing everything they are capable of doing.

handsomelad70 · Answer

Where both partners treat each other with equal respect, though the chick should realize that the dude wants her body and she should desire his.

LiamJHayden · Answer

One in which the couple is more concerned with getting a fair share than in seeking the best for the partner.

How would you define a 50/50 relationship?

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