Can childhood abuse cause you to take a longer period of time to fall in love?

[Anonymous]

The man I have been dating for 10 months has recently told me that he loves me and that I'm very important to him but isn't feeling himself fall in love yet. He says he doesn't know if something is wrong with him or if he just needs more time. He told me he was abused as a child and that he was cheated on in his first two relationships. I believe that people fall in love at different paces, and that's ok. But I also believe that his childhood abuse and past relationship infidelities is effecting him and causing him to trust love at a slower pace. He shows me with his actions that he cares and that he loves me and he physically said it for the first time last week that he loves me. Do I just need to have patience or should I be worried that he said he loves me but doesn't feel himself falling in love with me yet?

[DenizLikesTennis]

I am so much in pain after reading this because I feel addressed to the issue... I am one of the childhood abuse victims. My heart feels kinda dead. No emotions left for love. I have had a string of women who were interested in me so much but I couldn't feel anything even I thought "she is so awesome". (Not all of them of course). People question why I act so distant and cold. I have never had a real relationship. I need someone who is empathetic and understands me. You just need to be patient with him or make an appointment with a therapist. He loves you. He truly does. Believe me.

The one moment I remember when I have had my first girlfriend was... that I liked her but didn't feel anything. Childhood trauma is a real thing.

And the saddest and crazy thing is... I still don't believe that people love me for who I am... it affects me even online... here for example. The thing is... I automatically believe everyone hates me. But I have learned to ditch that deceptive mind and focus on the real good ones. NathanDavis... otherwise thats about it... because he is so genuine, loving, kind and super honest.

If I had to choose a girl as a real friend here... well... I'd say it's none.. but no need... because a friend is a friend and that is enough for me... whether it's a girl or not...

[DenizLikesTennis]

So... I don't know what love is and feels like...

[misogynistic_pig]

Child bullies experience greater sexual success than non-bullies.

[BlueScorpio]

Yes it's possible because they been hurt by those closes to them in the past. He may need more time and maybe some counseling/therapy to overcome his past.

[DenizLikesTennis]

Thanks :,)

[BJP21]

It really depends on what the triggers are and what will trigger them.

[OddBeMe]

Ehh yeah. But it sounds like excuses to get out of commitment. Wonder how many other gfs he has….

[Dinosaursandanime65]

No it Willa create situations that tease you about it