I still think about my first love all the time. Should I reach out? (Page 2)

MilaRay · 2022-11-26T06:05:14Z

i can’t talk to anybody about this without feeling judged but I rejected the opportunity to reconcile with my ex because he played me. He reached out last year and I didn’t accept his invitation to be reconnected. But through all these years I still remembered him and I felt like the fact I never forgot him was proof that I loved him. I feel so alone with these feelings because I do all the things that single people do but my heart isn’t in it. I date other men but I can’t fully commit to anybody or give myself to anybody to the fullest extent. I’ve been celibate since I was with him. The reason I never told anybody is because my heart has been with my first love since I met him and it’s embarrassing. I feel like I deserve to let go of him because of how bad he hurt me, but I never really let go. Sometimes I think about intimate moments we shared -not just sex but deep talks, times where I shared my thoughts with him that I have never told anybody else, or times when he cried and I wiped his tears. I think about the memories all the time kind of like I don’t want to let them go. Sometimes they make me happy-much happier than any after him ever did. All the sweet gestures, dates, flowers and confessions could never replace the feeling I had when I was with him and I hate it. I honestly felt like he probably knew I was faking the fact that I was over him. But I wouldn’t ever act on how I feel because I won’t risk putting myself in a position to get hurt by him ever again. But I want to sometimes, and it’s crossed my mind lately to say something because so much time has passed I figure he and I are both more mature and maybe even different people. But I think about all the ways it could go wrong or how I might feel and I worry that it isn’t worth it

MilaRay

Xper 7 Age: 26

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Ms_Facesitter Follow
Guru Age: 30

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816 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

I wouldn't, after all you said he played you. I don't see why he'd still be on your mind after doing that.

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Mangospacho Follow
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Go for it. I don’t see why not. If it doesn’t work out then you’re just back where you started without losing much.

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Likes2drive Follow
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I do at times since I’ve been single for so long again, but it’s been so long, i’m sure they have a whole life and family

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Hardworkingguy Follow
Xper 6 Age: 31

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I think you should probably change their surroundings perhaps move to a different city or town talk to a psychologist and move on

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Wise4myage Follow
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Why, so you can just get used again? Move on to better things.

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Guardian45 Follow
Guru Age: 49

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What's changed? Is he STILL a 'playa'? If yes, don't waste your time!

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In_Trance Follow
Master Age: 25

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Masturbate twice then see if you still want to reach out

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OddBeMe Follow
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Nah. Keep him as a legend in your mind. He’ll only disappoint you.

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Anonymous
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You are setting yourself up for disappointment. Just let it go.

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lmh668 Follow
Xper 1 Age: 41

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What do you want to do? Just follow your heart.

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sheikalana Follow
Master Age: 35

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Nah. It's over let it go and move on.

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ZenJen444 Follow
Xper 6 Age: 28

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He doesn't like you. So why would you reach out?

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- ZenJen444
  
  1 y
  He's not thinking about you that's for sure🤣. Move on kid
  
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Anonymous
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I don't know.

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I still think about my first love all the time. Should I reach out? (Page 2)

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