My boyfriend compares me and his ex all the time.

my boyfriend compares me and his ex all the time.

he was with her more than 5 years. according to him, she cheated on him. we met 1 year later after they broke up, he mentioned the first day. soon we decided to be in a relationship, he said about his ex more than 3 times a day. I didn't say anything then cos he said "i was with her more than 5 years, so she was a part of my 20's life." so I tried to understand him.

but I couldn't stand it anymore, so asked him not to say about her.

he tried but I think he says even he doesn't realize what he says day, we were walking on the street, he said today is my ex's birthday. we were very fancy hotel, I dropped red wine..."

the other day, he says "my ex really wanted to get very expensive coat for Christmas present, she never pad for rent I paid 2/3 for it."

he complained but still talking about her.

i told him watching a woman walking on the street, I said, "she is very attractive." he said, "my ex is more attractive than her."

i asked why I am here he was still thinking his ex is attractive.

he said that he was with me, he didn't want to be with his ex. but I can't stand it.

when he gets angry, he compared with me and his ex like my ex was better than you or she never complained when I drink beer, she was drinking coke. so do I have to drink coke instead of saying anything?

is it normal to other people? or just my boyfriend?

he says he loves me, but I can't believe it.


Most Helpful Girl

  • No, it isn't normal, and it isn't OK. Constantly being compared (especially negatively) to someone else will eventually damage your self-esteem. I'm not saying that he doesn't love you, but he can't truly give you all of himself if he is still so hung up on his ex. I don't think it's a healthy relationship for you to be in, especially if he ignores your requests to stop talking about her.


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  • To me this is a no win bet .. you have to tell him .. like hello I'm not your ex if you wana be with her go ahead but for this point forward if I hear about her and I are goinq to have issues ... I don't compare/ talk about my ex to you so I simply don't want to hear bout yours.! Leave it at that there's nothinq left for him to say about it .. unless it is a biq apology !

  • I'm surprised that you've dealt with this, for a such a long period of time. He hasn't gotten over the fact that she cheated on him. He is still in love with her.


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