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How to avoid falling in love with a close female friend who you talk to everyday?
Anonymous
(25-29) 
786 opinions shared on Relationships topic. Well, honestly you can't really stop yourself once you know it's happening. The sure right thing you can do is tell her that you are having feelings and that you are developing a romantic interest and then see what she says.
I just had this conversation with my girlfriend the way I explained it to her was like this...
For a guy the most important thing he can give or provide to a woman is his friendship, and when that involves a woman that usually means there is some type of underlying romantic attraction. So, when he gives that friendship to a woman without the romance, it's like he is giving it away for free. And that is like a woman giving away romance without friendship.
Now some guys think they have to codified friendship before romance, because they believe a true friendship with a women will lead to romance. And the fact is that is not true at all, just like sex does not necessarily lead to love. Because once a woman starts thinking of you as just a friend, then it's hard to get her thinking of you as anything else. Just like when a woman has sex on the first date, it hard to get a guy to expect anything less than sex on the second date.
So, I would not try to stop yourself from falling in love, because that is near impossible once you start developing those feelings. I would just tell her that its happening and if she does not feel the same, then you need to break off the friendship.
My girlfriend listens to this and just agreed with it, because she said she had two really close male friends in her life... and she thought they were super tight like best freinds... but once he started dating someone else the friendships just dissolved. And she didn't really understand why until I just explained it to her.
I told her yeah, see when a guy finds a woman that might be out of his reach, he decides that being friends with her is better, than having no relationship at all. Maybe he has the belief that he can back door his way into a relationship later, but eventually it all becomes too frustrating for him, or he finds another woman. Because she as the women was getting every benefit of being in a relationship with man for free... meaning without sex and without risk of being hurt. While the guy was hurting for more than just friendship, without realizing he had already blown it, by giving away his best commodity for free.
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This is why you DON'T have close friends of the opposite gender. This is bound to happen.
To answer your question, you should distance yourself. These are usually the messiest of relationships especially when it comes to break ups, since they know absolutely everything about each other and can DESTROY one another if things so sideways. Not to mention, things will just be awkward after you break up (if it happened in a decent/non-toxic way) and your friendship will never be the same.
I have a rule that if I find a girl attractive, I either pursue her for a relationship (if I'm ready for one) or treat her as an acquaintance, but never a friend. I don't think I can get anything from that friendship that I don't get from my male buddies, and I don't like the possibility of falling for someone that I know I don't want to be in a relationship with (if I'm not ready to be in a relationship). It just adds chaos to your life, that's all.
Do the right thing and tell her the truth, then distance yourself.
- 527 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
It sometimes happens, often actually to me at least it has. To avoid it, I think... what would happen if we did get together and it didn't work out? I'd lose him as a friend forever, but then I think, if it works out though I'll have one of my best friends as something more too, hopefully forever.
584 opinions shared on Relationships topic. You can’t help who you fall for, but if she’s in a relationship, keep your thoughts to yourself. Friendships last longer than many relationships anyway, so that’s a positive.
What Girls & Guys Said
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- 1.3K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
From reading all the comments I will concur with most. You are basically like a bestie or a good girlfriend who she can talk too. My advice. Stop talking to her. The more you talk to her the less time you can give energy in finding someone yourself. Imagine her boyfriend not having to listen to her drama because you're on the other line doing it for him. Bad scene.
4.5K opinions shared on Relationships topic. Talk to another one that is prettier everyday and remind yourself this is a Work Relationship or whatever type it is. Sometimes, we have to exercise discipline.
- 923 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Well. Sometimes it happens. If you and/or her are in relationships pray about it. Otherwise hey. It happens
- 8.4K opinions shared on Relationships topic. u
Why is it something you want to avoid?
7K opinions shared on Relationships topic. Talk to other women and get a girlfriend
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It's realy difficult to not fall and fall in love as it's not controlled that way acoordong to our will. You have two options
A. You suppress your feelings and concentrate on something else like a project or something which could keep you occupied for long..
B. You gotta be open about it and talk to her as deem fit. Or may be you can give her a hint, take her out for a spin or a dinner someday in weekend. Try and observe her reactions to few cute little things you're doing for her... May be you'll be lucky enough to get inside her head.
Best of luck and a very happy new year !! - 945 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
If you feel yourself developing such feelings, make yourself scarce. If this person doesn't feel the same way about you, this is especially important.
Don't talk to this woman every day. Talk to her once a week or less. Make up an excuse: extra work hours, you're hitting it hard at the gym, you've taken up a new hobby or you're working with a friend part-time to help him out... Find SOMETHING to move you away from what sounds like a losing proposition.
And ultimately, find yourself your OWN woman to date and get close to. That is the BEST reason to be less available. If you aren't dating, start. If you aren't dating seriously, start.
This woman knows you like her and allows herself to use you as a friend and prop for her emotions. I'm not stating she's doing this in a negative or clingy way, but it's negative FOR YOU. Take care of yourself and move on.
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It's not possible to control how you feel about someone when they're in your life, especially of it's every day. Love just happens, because feelings develop over time.
Feelings are less likely to develop when you don't see someone often and you have limited contact with them. But it would be sad to limit contact with her if she is a good friend. Good friends aren't easy to find in life.
Just because someone is a great friend, that doesn't mean they'll make a good partner for you
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Keep it to yourself. Dont reveal it to her. If the feeling eats you up inside tell her you got a new job where you'll be working a lot of overtime and you won't have any free time like u normally do. And then stop texting or calling her. Do something else instead.
If she calls or texts ignore it. Respond maybe once every 2 or 3 days, in the late evening.
Many men get feelings for their female friends but they would be super weirded out if u told them. So dont tell and create some distance. - 757 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
By having sex with other woman. If you're falling for this woman at all, it's because you're staying with her on some level because you think you got a shot and you already invested all this time and energy, you like her anyway so you make it make sense to yourself through any means you can.
Nothing wrong staying friends with this person, but you gotta take your pipe dream no matter how attainable it may or may not be and kill it or else you will always be simping to women.
It is a scientific fact that sexual frustration fucks up a guys ability to think straight. Go out to a bar, start talking to random people. About anything.
Oh there's a guy in a yellow shirt "hey that's a cool shirt dude, where'd you get that" jk
But seriously go out, find a crowd bars are a great place to start. Get a hobby that you can do with a group, do groupons.
Anything that involves trying to have sex with someone else is a step in the right direction
- Anonymous(45 Plus)
This is a lesson guys learn or male-female interaction gets tough. Just because she shares her feelings with you DOES NOT mean she's interested in you. Life isn't a rom-com. The fact that she talks about her problem with her boyfriend should have been your biggest clue. That's not a healthy interaction. She either views you as one her girlfriends, or she just likes bating you with this. Either way, she's not interested, and will NEVER be interested. And even if she was, the fact that she'd bring up her boyfriend kind of shows that it would NOT be a healthy relationship with you anyways.
Run man! Run fast!
While it is difficult to control feelings but if you want to avoid falling for her then just try to avoid discussing things that are not important.
Involve yourself in learning new things like reading, painting, photography or cooking or whatever rather than being glued to your phone.
P. S. Don't avoid her. Reply her when she needs you.Unfortunately your question already fails at the "how to avoid falling in love-" part. You feel what you feel and you have your right to feel it.
You have to weigh the outcomes of either of your steps whether you tell her about how you feel or you don't tell her and prepare for them. And to finally decide which outcome you'd regret more.
If I were in your shoes I'd probably tell her so there will be no more doubts and contemplation, knowing at the same time that you will have to distance yourself from her if it's not happening vice versa. It sucks but at least you can have a clearer vision of what next.
Once feelings are involved its nearly impossible to go back to how it used to be i guess. So I risked it and now we are madly in love with each other for past 8 months. So there's no certainty to it. It might or might not work out depending on how badly both want it to. In my case my best friend was really understanding and when i confessed, she didn't really have the same intensity of feelings as I did but she was willing to give it a shot as some amounth if feelings were involved from her side. I think het interest in other guys should make it clear if she'll be interested in you or not.
- 806 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Been there man. You have to let go... Please, please dont ghost her. Thats callous and rude. Be honest. Tell her why you need to set boundaries or need to leave her life. However she responds to this is on her (and from my own experience it can be received very badly). But at least afford yourself and her the dignity in doing the right thing.
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She has to have a boyfriend
he has to be treating her right
she can’t see that other women want you
she can’t see women that are prettier than her wanting you
when she asks why are you single you must give a fuckboy responseShe cannot see your penis ( or any nudity don’t even let her see your shirt off )
she must not find you sexually attractive
she has to think you’re kinda broke
tell her you think of her as a little sister
this one is tough but you’re going to have to put less effort in your appearance
that’s about it these are the lengths I’ve gone to try and keep female friends just friends
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If I knew the cure or preventative medicine that allowed people to do this, I could be very wealthy. Unfortunately for now. You can’t control who you love.
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I got hurt by that. Is also called "Homie love". I would try ruh talk to'er, and She would bad mouth Me instead.(Y, I foresaw, I wz gonna get over Her soon) This so-called girl even got pregnant. I got over her in 3 n'a half months. And immediately, she rapidly started asking my respectables ubout me. And when she started t' call me;(I) got my # changed!. When she gave birth;cursed all single Mothers (3/'94)!
Years Later, would still ask people ubout Me.. And perhaps, to this day, cause she constantly sends Me friend requests. (That I reject/ignore) Talk ubout trash, from the past, like various''.
Somebody told me, that her whole life, is all ----ed up''.. Hell yeah, it is. Thas the way it appeared, when I saw her again. From "classic beauty" to tossed up ghetto trash skat. The antonym physicality of a Stripper. (in case you don't know what a toss up is, is from good to yuk! {expired beauty})
by thinking about your life without them or how awkward it would be. everything would change if they didn’t feel the same.. but if they did feel the same but you guys broke up… I don't know. i wouldn’t. if she shows interest in you have a conversation with her?
Why avoid it? What makes you not want to fall in love with her? If you're conscious that you might, that tells me you already are. I have very close friends who are women who I'm neither in love with nor concerned about falling in love with. We're just close friends.
Sounds like you're already there. So, why are you fighting against it?
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