How to avoid falling in love with a close female friend who you talk to everyday?

Question

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

Well, honestly you can't really stop yourself once you know it's happening. The sure right thing you can do is tell her that you are having feelings and that you are developing a romantic interest and then see what she says.

I just had this conversation with my girlfriend the way I explained it to her was like this...

For a guy the most important thing he can give or provide to a woman is his friendship, and when that involves a woman that usually means there is some type of underlying romantic attraction. So, when he gives that friendship to a woman without the romance, it's like he is giving it away for free. And that is like a woman giving away romance without friendship.

Now some guys think they have to codified friendship before romance, because they believe a true friendship with a women will lead to romance. And the fact is that is not true at all, just like sex does not necessarily lead to love. Because once a woman starts thinking of you as just a friend, then it's hard to get her thinking of you as anything else. Just like when a woman has sex on the first date, it hard to get a guy to expect anything less than sex on the second date.

So, I would not try to stop yourself from falling in love, because that is near impossible once you start developing those feelings. I would just tell her that its happening and if she does not feel the same, then you need to break off the friendship.

My girlfriend listens to this and just agreed with it, because she said she had two really close male friends in her life... and she thought they were super tight like best freinds... but once he started dating someone else the friendships just dissolved. And she didn't really understand why until I just explained it to her.

I told her yeah, see when a guy finds a woman that might be out of his reach, he decides that being friends with her is better, than having no relationship at all. Maybe he has the belief that he can back door his way into a relationship later, but eventually it all becomes too frustrating for him, or he finds another woman. Because she as the women was getting every benefit of being in a relationship with man for free... meaning without sex and without risk of being hurt. While the guy was hurting for more than just friendship, without realizing he had already blown it, by giving away his best commodity for free.

Datboi65 · Accepted Answer

This is why you DON'T have close friends of the opposite gender. This is bound to happen.

To answer your question, you should distance yourself. These are usually the messiest of relationships especially when it comes to break ups, since they know absolutely everything about each other and can DESTROY one another if things so sideways. Not to mention, things will just be awkward after you break up (if it happened in a decent/non-toxic way) and your friendship will never be the same.

I have a rule that if I find a girl attractive, I either pursue her for a relationship (if I'm ready for one) or treat her as an acquaintance, but never a friend. I don't think I can get anything from that friendship that I don't get from my male buddies, and I don't like the possibility of falling for someone that I know I don't want to be in a relationship with (if I'm not ready to be in a relationship). It just adds chaos to your life, that's all.

Do the right thing and tell her the truth, then distance yourself.

Aerissa_Jade · Accepted Answer

It sometimes happens, often actually to me at least it has. To avoid it, I think... what would happen if we did get together and it didn't work out? I'd lose him as a friend forever, but then I think, if it works out though I'll have one of my best friends as something more too, hopefully forever.

SphynxUK · Accepted Answer

You can’t help who you fall for, but if she’s in a relationship, keep your thoughts to yourself. Friendships last longer than many relationships anyway, so that’s a positive.

coachTanthony · Answer

From reading all the comments I will concur with most. You are basically like a bestie or a good girlfriend who she can talk too. My advice. Stop talking to her. The more you talk to her the less time you can give energy in finding someone yourself. Imagine her boyfriend not having to listen to her drama because you're on the other line doing it for him. Bad scene.

Guy13 · Answer

Talk to another one that is prettier everyday and remind yourself this is a Work Relationship or whatever type it is. Sometimes, we have to exercise discipline.

Summeroflove · Answer

Well. Sometimes it happens. If you and/or her are in relationships pray about it. Otherwise hey. It happens

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Why is it something you want to avoid?

Avicenna · Answer

Talk to other women and get a girlfriend

mrinalashesh007 · Answer

It's realy difficult to not fall and fall in love as it's not controlled that way acoordong to our will. You have two options

A. You suppress your feelings and concentrate on something else like a project or something which could keep you occupied for long..

B. You gotta be open about it and talk to her as deem fit. Or may be you can give her a hint, take her out for a spin or a dinner someday in weekend. Try and observe her reactions to few cute little things you're doing for her... May be you'll be lucky enough to get inside her head.

Best of luck and a very happy new year !!

Screenwriter · Answer

If you feel yourself developing such feelings, make yourself scarce. If this person doesn't feel the same way about you, this is especially important.

Don't talk to this woman every day. Talk to her once a week or less. Make up an excuse: extra work hours, you're hitting it hard at the gym, you've taken up a new hobby or you're working with a friend part-time to help him out... Find SOMETHING to move you away from what sounds like a losing proposition.

And ultimately, find yourself your OWN woman to date and get close to. That is the BEST reason to be less available. If you aren't dating, start. If you aren't dating seriously, start.

This woman knows you like her and allows herself to use you as a friend and prop for her emotions. I'm not stating she's doing this in a negative or clingy way, but it's negative FOR YOU. Take care of yourself and move on.

Sorrento-Sun · Answer

It's not possible to control how you feel about someone when they're in your life, especially of it's every day. Love just happens, because feelings develop over time.

Feelings are less likely to develop when you don't see someone often and you have limited contact with them. But it would be sad to limit contact with her if she is a good friend. Good friends aren't easy to find in life.

Just because someone is a great friend, that doesn't mean they'll make a good partner for you

big_ben_007 · Answer

Keep it to yourself. Dont reveal it to her. If the feeling eats you up inside tell her you got a new job where you'll be working a lot of overtime and you won't have any free time like u normally do. And then stop texting or calling her. Do something else instead.

If she calls or texts ignore it. Respond maybe once every 2 or 3 days, in the late evening.

Many men get feelings for their female friends but they would be super weirded out if u told them. So dont tell and create some distance.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

By having sex with other woman. If you're falling for this woman at all, it's because you're staying with her on some level because you think you got a shot and you already invested all this time and energy, you like her anyway so you make it make sense to yourself through any means you can.

Nothing wrong staying friends with this person, but you gotta take your pipe dream no matter how attainable it may or may not be and kill it or else you will always be simping to women.

It is a scientific fact that sexual frustration fucks up a guys ability to think straight. Go out to a bar, start talking to random people. About anything.

Oh there's a guy in a yellow shirt "hey that's a cool shirt dude, where'd you get that" jk

But seriously go out, find a crowd bars are a great place to start. Get a hobby that you can do with a group, do groupons.

Anything that involves trying to have sex with someone else is a step in the right direction

Anonymous · Answer

This is a lesson guys learn or male-female interaction gets tough. Just because she shares her feelings with you DOES NOT mean she's interested in you. Life isn't a rom-com. The fact that she talks about her problem with her boyfriend should have been your biggest clue. That's not a healthy interaction. She either views you as one her girlfriends, or she just likes bating you with this. Either way, she's not interested, and will NEVER be interested. And even if she was, the fact that she'd bring up her boyfriend kind of shows that it would NOT be a healthy relationship with you anyways.

Run man! Run fast!

joenelson · Answer

While it is difficult to control feelings but if you want to avoid falling for her then just try to avoid discussing things that are not important.

Involve yourself in learning new things like reading, painting, photography or cooking or whatever rather than being glued to your phone.

P. S. Don't avoid her. Reply her when she needs you.

nrm736 · Answer

Unfortunately your question already fails at the "how to avoid falling in love-" part. You feel what you feel and you have your right to feel it.

You have to weigh the outcomes of either of your steps whether you tell her about how you feel or you don't tell her and prepare for them. And to finally decide which outcome you'd regret more.

If I were in your shoes I'd probably tell her so there will be no more doubts and contemplation, knowing at the same time that you will have to distance yourself from her if it's not happening vice versa. It sucks but at least you can have a clearer vision of what next.

_no_one_ · Answer

Once feelings are involved its nearly impossible to go back to how it used to be i guess. So I risked it and now we are madly in love with each other for past 8 months. So there's no certainty to it. It might or might not work out depending on how badly both want it to. In my case my best friend was really understanding and when i confessed, she didn't really have the same intensity of feelings as I did but she was willing to give it a shot as some amounth if feelings were involved from her side. I think het interest in other guys should make it clear if she'll be interested in you or not.

mobiusforniner · Answer

Been there man. You have to let go... Please, please dont ghost her. Thats callous and rude. Be honest. Tell her why you need to set boundaries or need to leave her life. However she responds to this is on her (and from my own experience it can be received very badly). But at least afford yourself and her the dignity in doing the right thing.

PainusNdeeAnus · Answer

She has to have a boyfriend

he has to be treating her right

she can’t see that other women want you

she can’t see women that are prettier than her wanting you

when she asks why are you single you must give a fuckboy response

She cannot see your penis ( or any nudity don’t even let her see your shirt off )

she must not find you sexually attractive

she has to think you’re kinda broke

tell her you think of her as a little sister

this one is tough but you’re going to have to put less effort in your appearance

that’s about it these are the lengths I’ve gone to try and keep female friends just friends

dustybiker · Answer

If I knew the cure or preventative medicine that allowed people to do this, I could be very wealthy. Unfortunately for now. You can’t control who you love.

whorable · Answer

by thinking about your life without them or how awkward it would be. everything would change if they didn’t feel the same.. but if they did feel the same but you guys broke up… I don't know. i wouldn’t. if she shows interest in you have a conversation with her?

Gabriel-Chicanito · Answer

I got hurt by that. Is also called "Homie love". I would try ruh talk to'er, and She would bad mouth Me instead.(Y, I foresaw, I wz gonna get over Her soon) This so-called girl even got pregnant. I got over her in 3 n'a half months. And immediately, she rapidly started asking my respectables ubout me. And when she started t' call me;(I) got my # changed!. When she gave birth;cursed all single Mothers (3/'94)!

Years Later, would still ask people ubout Me.. And perhaps, to this day, cause she constantly sends Me friend requests. (That I reject/ignore) Talk ubout trash, from the past, like various''.

Somebody told me, that her whole life, is all ----ed up''.. Hell yeah, it is. Thas the way it appeared, when I saw her again. From "classic beauty" to tossed up ghetto trash skat. The antonym physicality of a Stripper. (in case you don't know what a toss up is, is from good to yuk! {expired beauty})

SnowedIn · Answer

Why avoid it? What makes you not want to fall in love with her? If you're conscious that you might, that tells me you already are. I have very close friends who are women who I'm neither in love with nor concerned about falling in love with. We're just close friends.

Sounds like you're already there. So, why are you fighting against it?

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Just rub one out about her when you're feeling sexual tension. Eventually, you'll start to see her flaws and she might even become annoying to you. Remember for every hot chick you see, there is at least 1 guy out there that is completely sick of her bullshit and wants nothing to do with her. Start looking for the flaws though... the tension is just blinding you to the worst of them.

IJhonnyI · Answer

It might hurt but if you know she has no other intentions besides being friends and your feelings are telling you the opposite just distance yourself more and more and more until those feelings fade everyone says "I don't think I'll ever stop having feelings for her" that's not true there's other moments it could be but this ain't one of them because clearly your trying to "avoid" it for a reason.

mstbooblover · Answer

Falling in love does not happen on command, and thus I don't think there's anything you can do, safe leaving the place where you're most likely to meet her. Sure the lady will not understand if suddenly you avoid her. Plan B could be talking about the problem with her, and see where this could lead you both... Everything depends on both already possibly existing engagements, but, plan C, if you're both free, why not just giving in?

Nileviewboy · Answer

Tough one. I did with my friend of 20 years. Trust me, its now so so awkward. We need to talk about it but i know it will end in nuclear argument if we do. Its not a road you want to go down, no matter how much your head, heart, and other head say you should.

JDAC092299 · Answer

I think if it get’s to this you can’t avoid it but you can make a choice. Take it from someone who’s ruined two of these friendships, If you were meant to be anything more than friends you would be by this point. Don’t spoil a good thing for you and her, if anything does grow emotionally between you she’ll let you know.

Andres77 · Answer

Are either of you married? I f so, the answer is CONTROL YOURSELF. That's it.

If that's not the case are you just trying to avoid inter-office relationships and the drama that comes with it? Either tell her how you feel and navigate this conundrum together or just... control your actions around her.

Married? Get over it. If you're both not... that's a toughy but HR might have some policies in place to help out.

musicbrain5 · Answer

Is the interest one sided? Does she know how you feel?

Sour-rose · Answer

Well you could just not talk to her. :) But who wanna do that to a friend without warning or reason? You can always ask if she feels the same, and if she don't... well cool, friends either way?

Anonymous · Answer

This one is SUPER easy my friend! Make sure you are REGULARLY sinking your cock balls deep into a hotter girl. Or better yet--several hotter girls. If you do this, you can pretty much guarantee you'll avoid falling in love with your close friend you talk to every day. Better still--you'll have even MORE to talk about! WIN-WIN!

Anemone978 · Answer

Don't be close friends with women you could fall for.

Bellona · Answer

I don't think you can be close friends with someone who is the sex you would have for your partner.

Evie_Rose91608 · Answer

You can't, but if she's single, go for it. More often than not, at one point or another, us girls fall for our boy bsfs.

Mysticknght · Answer

I would keep talking to them but I would focus on something else, like doing something to keep your mind off of them and I would talk to other people

QuietVerbena · Answer

Remind yourself of the reasons why that would be a bad idea

CindyRuns · Answer

It's hard to for one reason... the best way to become lovers is to be friends first !!!

PinkRose24 · Answer

Why do you want to avoid falling in love with her?

KathrynTaylor · Answer

Just cut contact with her if she’s not interested.

_Troian_ · Answer

Imagine her taking a shit in the toilet, u will avoid falling in love with her my friend.

TheFirstMan · Answer

1. Can't cause she might have a feeling with u too.

2. Unless the fact is can't due to relative, both of u have to figure out.

3. Assuredly it's depend on you.

Everything start with just a title "friend"

Nephilim000 · Answer

You might need to remind yourself repeatedly why you should not and what you might lose if you risk the friendship

RogueHuman · Answer

You don’t avoid it. You learn the lesson that the universe has been conspiring to put in front of you. It will show you what real love is.

yourmancallsme · Answer

I guess males and females can’t remain as just friends

Mangospacho · Answer

What exactly is the downside of dating this person? And if you’re not interested in her, why do you keep a close relationship with her?

She_smiled_back21 · Answer

You are desperate sweetie:) ngl it's betterr if u only think them as a friend not more than that just like your "guy friends". Just wait for right time, you will definitely meet your significant other soon. My best wishes are with u. Good luck😺😺😺.

Shiningtempest · Answer

To avoid falling in love with a close female friend, ignore signs she likes you.

exitseven · Answer

Sounds like it is already too late for you.

tiajoka · Answer

Don’t spend too much time together, don’t hug too much, and make sure to have other hobbies or friends to distract you

Pudsmucker · Answer

Not giving much information. How do you know this person? Do you work with this person? Is she in your same apartment complex?

Juxtapose · Answer

If she has already rejected you then just keep reminding yourself that she doesn't feel the same way.

MuhammedNada · Answer

I think by giving yourself some space with them and meeting new people.

aaron210419 · Answer

Don't talk to her everyday if you can avoid it, don't let your feeling get the best of you.

PatriceONeal · Answer

Don't talk to her. Simple. Find a girl who likes you and don't let her string you along like this one, because most of these modern women will.

hismave · Answer

I think you should reduce how much time u spend with her as well as how much time you communicate with her.

Anonymous · Answer

It's called self-control. Everyone is born with it.

Chunkystorm · Answer

Obviously you can't control your feelings. You should let her know if you love her. That is the only way you could control this situation. Maybe you'll be lucky enough to have her. 🙂

katestar · Answer

I've been there before. I've been in love with him

TheNameIsRob · Answer

Stop talking to her every day or tell her you like her and be an adult about it

Iron_Man · Answer

if you have feelings already it’s going to be very difficult

PantyBuyer4Life · Answer

You can't avoid it if you're inclined that way with her.

Matrix3003 · Answer

I think it’s imposible. In my case one or other fall.

How to avoid falling in love with a close female friend who you talk to everyday?

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