Ok, that's not QUITE as bad as it sounds. A little background here. RJ is my boyfriend. We've been together 6 years and I love him very much. I've known him 30 years. But I'm not gay. Matter of fact. 30 years ago, my first wife, the only woman I ever truly loved, ran off w/ RJ because I was ignoring that young, beautiful, yet neglected poor woman.
Apparently RJ, was interested in me. He kept track of me over the years (from behind the scenes) and finally made a move 6 years ago.
He made me feel attractive and wanted. Something I'd felt seldom in my multi-decade pity party. (I'd punished myself at least that long, repeatedly and continuously beating myself down in an orgy of self-pity and regret, finally (and tragically, erroneously convincing myself that I was a hideous troll that no decent person would ever be with. (Depression & self. Pity are extremely. Poor masters).
RJ lifted me out of that. He made me feel attractive, wanted, desireable (sp), valuable again. I found that, not only was I not ugly, I was pretty attractive, in body & personality.
I further found that I was pretty darned good with women. The sex I'd adored, but feared greatly through shyness and some key rejections in my youth.
I also found healing in accepting the fact that I'm not gay, but asexual, demisexual if one wants to be trendy.
I can be the most Romantic man on earth. But after a few weeks in the sack, I get bored with even the youngest most gorgeous adults out there. (Romance is my thing, I'm actually over 50, but pick up females fm 19 to 45)
Now I find myself stuck in the same dilemma. I love my boyfriend, but I really hate gay sex.
But he just inherited a nice house & money. We lived in an old 5th wheel for 5 years.
Thanks for reading. It's just therapy for me and I read all responses
Only one little
Apparently RJ, was interested in me. He kept track of me over the years (from behind the scenes) and finally made a move 6 years ago.
He made me feel attractive and wanted. Something I'd felt seldom in my multi-decade pity party. (I'd punished myself at least that long, repeatedly and continuously beating myself down in an orgy of self-pity and regret, finally (and tragically, erroneously convincing myself that I was a hideous troll that no decent person would ever be with. (Depression & self. Pity are extremely. Poor masters).
RJ lifted me out of that. He made me feel attractive, wanted, desireable (sp), valuable again. I found that, not only was I not ugly, I was pretty attractive, in body & personality.
I further found that I was pretty darned good with women. The sex I'd adored, but feared greatly through shyness and some key rejections in my youth.
I also found healing in accepting the fact that I'm not gay, but asexual, demisexual if one wants to be trendy.
I can be the most Romantic man on earth. But after a few weeks in the sack, I get bored with even the youngest most gorgeous adults out there. (Romance is my thing, I'm actually over 50, but pick up females fm 19 to 45)
Now I find myself stuck in the same dilemma. I love my boyfriend, but I really hate gay sex.
But he just inherited a nice house & money. We lived in an old 5th wheel for 5 years.
Thanks for reading. It's just therapy for me and I read all responses
Only one little
