What would be the most intolerable behavior in your partner that would prompt you to break up?

[gayesblog]

or is there any specific behavior in a partner that would be intolerable for you?

[Anonymous]

Red flags that would make me break up with someone:

1) no emotional or sexual love

2) only caring about my body and not my heart or not having respect for me

3) if I don't like him

4) if he has no respect for my family or If his family are horrible and making him take theur side all the time

5) if his apartment is worst than a dumpster, its a big red frag. Seriously that happened when I dated a guy in the summer. There were mountains of dirty close in EVERY room. There were hundreds of alcohol bottles and can everywhere, there were weeks of unwashed dishes, there were old food in his fridge, there were dirt and towel on the grund in his bathroom, there were a lot of food box such as pizza and other in the kitchen. Many dirt materials on the fluor. I tried to think that I might get to change him anf make him clean and not judge him so much. Ohh my god! I was so wrong. I cleaned 50% of his house, while he was just relaxing on the soffa and refusing to help out with cleaning. He only helpt out with taking out the trash. It gave me a headech. I started to think tjag if we continue to date, I might end up being his servant. So I broke up with him and never returned. Before i went ro his apartment for the first time, he was romantic. We went to the cinema, we went hiking, we went to swimmingpool together. Thats why I thought that I should not judge him so much and try to help him. My effort turned out to be usseless.

6) if he wants threesome


7) if he is so arrogant and selfish

8) if we have very bad communication full of missinderstandings

9) if he can't see me in his future

10) if he igrore me. If he see my text but answer many days after.

11) if he is a lier or a cheater.

12) if he has patriarkat mind that belittle women and think that men are superior and women are suppose to say yes to eveything.

13) if he takes my love for granted

14) if he try to trick my out of money. Well thats stupid because I don't even have money. Hahaha

15) if he is bad at taking responsible for his mistakes and deny them.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for MHO

[Aerissa_Jade]

Controlling behavior, telling me what I can and can't do, like I am a child and he is the parent.

Many times, even things I do not want to do or have no interest in doing if he says I can't do it, I do it anyway just to see how he'll handle it. If he gets violent or even passive aggressive, it is over.

I won't tell him what he can and can't do.

I will request certain things, but never order or demand.

I also always request that after we've been together for a month or two, that we spend the day together and talk everything out, even if things are going good or bad.

By this, I mean, share our history, future plans (much of this may have come out already) this is simply to clear the air of any expectations. Now that we know each other pretty good and are comfortable, can talk about what we hope to get out of it, where we hope to be down the road.

If there are any deal breakers, that simply cannot be worked through... then we can go our own way in a peaceful breakup, rather than something coming up later in the future that surprises one of us.

[caring__1]

The most common behavior nowadays is women selfishly feeling entitled to whatever they want, expecting their partner to be a lump of clay they can mold as they wish.

Expecting more consideration and respect than she is willing to give would also be intolerable. Other red flags would be irresponsibility, insensitivity, not taking care of her emotional, mental and physical well-being, and complicating the lives of others. These are things within her control rather than things outside her control.

It all comes down to people being too self-focused to be healthy partners. If they don't choose to be active equal partners, they're not partners worth having. Be observant to see how your choices impact others rather than just focus on how you want them to impact you.

[orangecherry]

Reading some of these responses I feel sorry for guys. What a bunch of BEE EYE TEE SEE AITCHES

[caring__1]

@orangecherry I can't say which came first (the chicken or the egg), but males are often just as dysfunctional as females. It's not surprising so many people are disillusioned by relationships. What's important isn't focusing on how people should be but paying attention and not ignoring the red flags when a partner is chosen.

[Moose304]

I could write a long boring comment, but I won't. Let me put it this way. I can't list any specific things that would end my relationship. What would end my relationship is for her to mistake my kindness for weakness and start disrespecting me. If she is going to be late getting home after a crazy day and forgets to text me, that's not being disrespected. If she starts doing it all the time that is different. The list of things a partner can do that shows disrespect is long! Let's put it this way. Telling me a lie is just a symptom of the main problem "disrespect". I won't put up with it. NEVER confuse kindness with weakness, NEVER!

[Genie23]

• Cheating on me. Flirting with others
• Being aggressive/threatening me in any kind of way or harming me.
• Is verbally abusive
• Lies to me. More than once.
• Drugs.
• Smoking.
• Mistreating people especially his juniors, waiters, homeless people and animals.
• Being obnoxious
• Controlling. If he tries to control my life, where I go, who I'm with.
• If he commits a crime.
• Isn't hygienic.
• Acts really selfish.

[Genie23]

Also forgot to add alcohol.

[orangecherry]

So you'd break up with him for drinking? Any amount of alcohol? And you'd break up with him for committing any crime what about jaywalking or something untruthful on his tax return? and just for flirting like with a waitress or something? omg you are not the prize you think you are hon

[Genie23]

@orangecherry Honey, why did you get so mad? I already got a REALLY amazing guy I am going to marry. So, don't worry about me. Worry about yourself, lol.

I was going to tell you what exactly I meant but since you just don't know how to talk to people. I refuse to answer your question. 🤷🏻‍♀️ So, keep moving.

[quaranta]

It's difficult to point out one in particular because I'd have really a lot of instant dealbreakers to list.
So I will give 3 random ones that would lead me to a break up even with an established relationship:
- Lies (any lie, even small, or important omission, even not to me but to other people he cares about). Cheating has the same effect but that is a derivation of this point anyway.
- Mistreating animals / kids / disadvantaged people (including during his past before meeting me).
- Aggression, physical or verbal, even passive aggression (such as silent treatment, threatening to commit suicide or to put guilts and responsibilities on me for their own choices - for some personal reasons I became exaggerately allergic to passive aggression, even remote traces of that, or traits that could lead a person to be like that).

[orangecherry]

Nice to know you never lie. Or are you a hypocrite? Get over yourself hon

[quaranta]

@orangecherry I don't know, I put my effort in never lying but always confronting any uncomfortable situation and in being just open and having nothing to hide, unless I'm being threatened or some other very problematic situations with unknown people but that would typically lead me to tell the truth anyway:"I don't want to tell this because I don't trust you", etc, and if you wonder: yes, I can find people of the same sort, not the majority, but yes. My circle of friends is quite selected around that, actually, even if I didn't do that on purpose, rationally. We just appear to be compatible...
If you are a liar and don't like feeling like someone might break the deal because you are not honest in general and don't match their standards, well, your problem, just match with guys who don't have this standard and you are all set.

[Summeroflove]

Cheating. Immoral. Nasty. Mean. Hateful. One sided.

[OlderAndWiser]

Violence, drug use, frequent intoxication.

[bolverk]

If a partner Cheated the relationship would be done immediately, all of their property would be boxed up the same day and waiting for them to pick up, the locks would be changed, all passwords for banking, social media etc, everything they had access to, and blocked on the same social media, if they were on my phone plan they'd be removed that day, and my phone number/SIM card changed. If there is a shared bank account I'd remove half of the balance leave them the account and the balance, and then move on.

[RavVid]

Fucking other people as top of the list.

Flirting her ass off as second down.

Nagging and disputatious as third down

Blaming me for her bad work day fourth down

Being passive aggressive fifth down but could be third down depending.

Not willing to be consolable after first and second because it's goddamn hard work then. After second down it is floating.

[orangecherry]

Just for flirting like with a waiter or something? isn't that harsh?

[RavVid]

@orangecherry No I don't think so. It is pretty much telling the partner they are looking for someone else in my view. From either side guy or girl.

[luxxoxo]

Being mean and not just to me to anyone and or unfair and sexist. Being mean is one thing that I cannot stand my ex was so mean to me and other people but obviously very sweet when he wanted something. Sexist ughhh don’t get me started on this. Omg or being fat phobic towards other girls it’s mean ! And insulting to judge other woman every BODY is beautifully created. This is what would prompt me to breakup with him. It’s just nasty behavior and shallow personality.

[ShellyB]

There are a few I have tried to write it specifically, but it ends up being too narrowly focused and leaving out some possible stuff that would still trigger a breakup. But in general I would say dishonesty, cruelty, or extreme selfishness. Those could take different forms but in any form, if I felt like that was what I was seeing or experiencing, it would make me think about breaking up.

[Phoenix98]

Abuse of any kind

No personal reasonability

Being irresponsible in general

Cheating and overall not being faithful

Gold digging

Selfishness

Drinks a lot of alcohol or borders on being an alcoholic

No respect

Controlling

Entitled

[Jhunitor]

Cheating (flirting, sending pics, being on dating apps, kissing or touching another man or letting another man touch her, etc.), being violent, trying to separate me from my family and friends, not taking at least one shower per day, not washing her hands after going to the restroom.

[orangecherry]

Flirting is cheating now?

[Jhunitor]

@orangecherry Always was. Would you flirt in front of your boyfriend?

[Bananas83]

Being flirtatious can lead to private convos via text or Facebook messages. That can quickly turn in a guys mind to, "oh she wants me." Now he's upping his game and pursing your girlfriend or wife. Nah, Flirting can be dangerous when you're in a committed relationship.

[orangecherry]

No but its not on the level of cheating

[Bananas83]

But it is. I've been in that position before. It's a form of cheating

[Jhunitor]

@orangecherry Call it whatever you want, but it is enough for me to consider ending the relationship.

[Anonymous]

1. A girl who thinks that flirting is not cheating. Its not normal, idc what anyone says. Stop normalizing this shit.

2. A girl who does drugs and/or smokes.

3. Me having to pay everytime. Gives off the vibes that she only wants me for free stuff.

[orangecherry]

I'm not saying flirting is right or good behavior but is it really cheating?

[Opinion Owner]

@orangecherry look up what flirting means. Its showing sexual/romantic interest in someone. If you flirt, you’re doing that. The last time i checked doing that while being in a relationship is bad.

[orangecherry]

some people act naturally in ways that are flirty they don't mean anything by it

[Opinion Owner]

@orangecherry you dont show sexual/romantic interest by accident, that takes conscious effort.

People describe being “naturally flirty” as just being extroverted. Just because someone is extroverted doesn't mean its flirting.

Im talking about actual signs of flirting, again, something that shows actual interest. Touching is a strong indicator. Now you could argue that some people are touchy. That’s true, but they touch body parts that are not intimate, such as the shoulder. But if you go out of your way to touch something like a guy’s chest or his abdomen/belly, you aren’t being touchy, you are flirting. Even extroverted and touchy people know where they can and can not touch someone else.

Lets say you have a boyfriend/husband and he touches another’s girl’s shoulder lightly. You probably won't be mad about that. But what if he places his hand on her tummy? Feels wrong doesn't it? You would be mad in that case.

[orangecherry]

Not sure if I would be mad at touching her tummy. It depends. Honestly the only time I would describe myself as mad or angry was when my boyfriend gave a girl a foot rub.

[Opinion Owner]

@orangecherry touching someone’s belly is way more intimate than touching someone’s feet. Or no?

[bamesjond0069]

Ho behavior. And dominating or disagreeable behavior.

If she acts like a slut she makes me look dumb even if she's faithful so nope.

If she isn't submissive that means she's being disagreeable with me. There shouldn't be arguments or anything in a relationship.

[petitedollbabee]

Cheating, becoming an alcoholic slob, being overly controlling & manipulative (stopping me from seeing people, controlling who I’m friends with, threatening to 💀 themselves if I don’t do exactly as they say, etc).

[Anonymous]

Any woke feminist sort behavior is an immediate show stopper. Anyone who supports the modern feminist movement is a bad person and not someone I would date.

Drug use or smoking is not ok.

Dishonesty is not ok.

Cheating is obviously a show stopper

[Anonymous]

Cheating

Gold digging

Assault

Breach of my personal privacy (e. g. posting intimate content online about me without my prior approval or telling people stuff that i don't want them to know).

Controlling behavior

Telling me I should quit watching porn

[HappyWoman34]

Elitist or intellectual snobbery, cruelty, selfishness, stupidity, abuse, sulking, game playing, narcissism, lies, cheating, theft and drug addictions. Tight arses too.

[AmeerX]

What's tight arses? 🧐

[HappyWoman34]

@AmeerX being cheap with money.

[AmeerX]

Oh, how about living within means? Isn't that great?

[HappyWoman34]

@AmeerX yes definitely.

[TheVigilantFox]

Abuse.


If I’m with someone and they start abusing me then they’re gone, I will not tolerate being called names, gaslighted or hit, so if I feel someone’s not right then I’m out of there.

[sheenagwapa]

womanizer... it's so hard for me to truet a womanizer


i think i'm a long enduring type of SO and anything i can tolerate except womanizing

[Bricealan]

Loud, dirty mouth, getting sloppy in appearance, dress, hair et cetera.

[orangecherry]

define sloppy

[Bricealan]

@orangecherry Going to a Classical music Concert on New Years looking like you just got out of bed, dressed like a "bag lady", hair looking like a wet mop.

[orangecherry]

lol ok

[Anemone978]

Violent
Gaslighting
Dismissive of my feelings
Not wanting to spend time together

[IveGotNoName]

1. Cheating/lying
2. Abuse (physical and/or psychological)
3. Misuse (drugs, smoking, alcohol)
4. Felony

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Physical violence. Costant denigration and insults. Overall being a bad person.

[Hellraiser1984]

Cheating and being controlling. Also not having a job unless she is pregnant or hurt or something. I'm not going to be the type that lets her live on my dime.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

• He starting to take advantage off me financially
• Her playing with my feelings
• Ghosting like teeny brat
• Not supporting
• Backstabbing and cheating

[orangecherry]

is all bratty behavior deal breaker or just ghosting lol

[Fromdusktilldawn]

@orangecherry like when she is offended after every little thing and breaks contact for it

[orangecherry]

ok that would suck yes

[BJP21]

Gaslighting, Verbal, Mental and Emotional and Physical abuse. I tolerated 10 years of it. Im a rare case of being abused by a female. Usually its the other way around.

[orangecherry]

guys can be abused by girls, I agree for sure. look at Johnny Depp

[HighValue]

Most things that would cause me to end a relationship are parts of liberal morals.

[orangecherry]

can you explain more? I am in the middle politically but might have some of what you call liberal opinions. just curious which are deal breakers for conservative guys

[Agape93]

Trying to control me. You get one warning, do it again and you're single

[orangecherry]

wait you have the thelema avatar isn't he allowed to do what he wills?

[Agape93]

You seem to misunderstand the meaning. It is not do whatever the fuck you want, it's do what thou Will, will being essentially like a destiny or a goal.

Nice try kid, but fuck off

[orangecherry]

no need to attack

[Agape93]

Don't come to me and start shit.

[savagewolf22]

@Agape93 🤣🤣🤣

[AdithyaR]

Being condescending of my interests. I've had friends who did this and I stopped hanging out with them immediately.

[msc545]

cheating. I am pretty sensitive about my looks, and anytime this has happened the guy was taller, better looking, and richer than I was - and also a lot dumber to be involved with that skank.

[Akam93]

Their dangerous as in put your life in danger or just a deadbeat dad.

[Wise4myage]

Obnoxious and rude behavior on a consistent basis.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Annoying. You annoy me after I tell you to leave me alone and it will be over in short order.

[Luopio27]

Trying to get guys fight for her. Not into trophy bitches.

[LiamJHayden]

Cheating, abuse, stealing are all automatics.

[PainusNdeeAnus]

Immodesty can turn the hottest women into Hot garbage

[Anonymous]

Selfishness. It's a lot what keeps me single actually. If I'm just an accessory or a fill in guy of her's, what's the point.

[JamesRandiDebates]

Disobedient, argumentative, or won't take it in the ass.

[AmeerX]

What does won't take it in the ass even mean?

[JamesRandiDebates]

@AmeerX Exactly what it says.

[SilentCricket]

Alcoholism and drug abuse. And the significant other not willing to get the help.

[jimmy2]

You are talking about narcissist and toxic and best just to leave and go

[abc3643]

Being a Trumpster.

[NathanDavis]

ill intentioned wrongdoing

[Guy13]

Felonies.

[SphynxUK]

Drug use or the inability to stop drinking.

[SnowedIn]

Abuse, controlling, manipulation.

[JosyJosy]

All the abusive bs and cheating.

[SlavicThor]

Constantly trying to argue

[Anonymous]

I'm married. I can't break up.

[orangecherry]

If he cheated on me

[collie22]

Cheating is a bad one

[Alex8736]

narcissistic and controlling

[EaterPeter]

Health and fitness, being out of shape

[CubaPirate]

Squeezing the toothpaste in the middle

[TrueConfection]

Smoking

[Lynnfriend]

Infidelity.

[jorfan3]

Physical abuse

[Anonymous]

agressiveness and cheating

[suzzieQ]

Dishonesty

[Blackcupcake]

selfishness

[AngryCarl]

Acid attack

[Gabriel-Chicanito]

Getting personal.