Hesitant to come in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

I have feelings for a guy who is 6 years older than me. We have been friends for two years. I’m almost 26 he’s 32. He shows me a lot of affection (hasn’t said I love you) but also doesn’t stop showing affection and acts really silly around me lol. But I shared my feelings with him he politely declined because he doesn’t want one at the moment. But yes he has also not taken any bad advantages of me like he doesn’t force me to share my assets with him and it’s been two years now imagine! He loves kind of far away from my house but comes to see me often and I went to his house yesterday for the first time, to give him presents and he forces me to stay longer and he did try to be chummy but we didn’t do the deed with all due respect. So like I know I shouldn’t be forcing someone to commit to me because it’s looks desperate but could you pls give tips on how to make him see me as the girl he can spend the rest of his life with? Also he is divorced he got divorced around 1.5 years ago. And is his affection for me is genuine? I feel it is and he likes me but not enlightened to commit to me. I’m sad pls help me out :(

Updates

1 y

But there’s no sex between us and he’s still in contact with me doesn’t force me to do it no fake promises

[Summeroflove]

You have to understand that marriage is a huge thing and you can't force someone to be ready. Marriage takes time and is a serious commitment to make.

[Guy13]

You may be okay but you may be the willing rebound girl too.

[Asker]

What dyu mean?

[Asker]

No but like would you go to meet someone who’s house is like 30 mins-1 hour drive away from your house and not for the deed? Just see spend time.

[Guy13]

I would but I’m a little old fashion that way. I enjoy the whole of the person’s nature. That experiential knowing is what drives me. I mean…. my heat seeking missile does like docking in port, however, it’s the full force of the person that pulls me…

[Asker]

So what dyu suggest I do to make him think of me as someone he can spend the rest of his life with? He shows a lot of affection and silliness but doesn’t want a relationship with me or anyone! And he’s not even getting the benefits from me!!! Imagine

[Guy13]

He’s still recovering from a divorce. You have to let him do his thing at his pace or you will receive Blame and his Hate from getting into something too soon and under sexual pressures from you.

[Asker]

Bruh what? Nope there’s no sexual demand from me and I have not let him have the MOST MAJOR advantage of me I hope you know what I’m talking about because why should I do it if he’s not serious about commitment and even he knows it so he said I respect your boundaries don’t do it for me.
What about the affection and silliness he shows me? Like most people say he’s arrogant but he’s not like that with me. Very silly and caring and affectionate But it’s not serious commitment love :/

[Guy13]

So, when you “BRUH, What” portion from him directly it will all come together for you…

You ought to have as much fun as possible because you are not going to be able to make another one love you for long-term commitment.

[Avicenna]

If a guy isn’t interested in giving you what you want you should move on.

[PatriceONeal]

So disgusting. He doesn't want you. But since he's chad you can't stop thinking you'll be that special girl to change him. Wasting your life on a man that will never commit to you. There are plenty of men that girls like this walk past everyday but they choose the very good-looking guys who will only use them for sex when they feel like it.

[Asker]

But there’s no sex!

[Asker]

Has never been so he’s not using me lol

[PatriceONeal]

You don't even know him and you are obsessed with spending the rest of your life with him. Waste another 2 years chasing a men that told you himself he doesn't want you. 💯

[Asker]

I’ve met him around a dozen times 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 why you assuming things before giving me solutions? Lolllll

[PatriceONeal]

The solution was to not obsess over a guy for over 2 years, you know the guy who rejected you? Your pride can't let it go. You said you've met him a dozen times in 12 years yet you want to manipulate him into a relationship with you that lasts forever. My assumptions are typically bullseye accurate. Especially when it comes to you young brainwashed women.

[Asker]

You sound really mean and hurt! If you can suggest a solution politely just don’t bother “helping” people out!

[PatriceONeal]

What's mean is trying to ask random strangers on how to manipulate a man into loving you forever. How about you grow up and stop spreading your gaslighting narcissism and just die alone future karen.

[Asker]

Aww then why have you made an account here? To roast people to feel good about yourself? :( are you gay and have been hated on the society for it a lot? Did mama or papa abandon you? :( you really don’t look cool here get out of my profile

[PatriceONeal]

Did you just try to shame me for my sexuality? Are you homophobic? It's funny I hear more women say anti LGBT bs than men and yet you all want to say men are the bigoted ones. How's that make sense? Please tell me more you miserable punjabi b.

[Asker]

Aww you miserable gay :( glad that people oppose lgbtq lollll you hated by everyone.

[PatriceONeal]

I'm conservative. Keep going! You make women look good doing this random attack.

[Asker]

HAHAHAHAHAHHA MISBEHAVING WITH PEOPLE FIRST AND WHEN MISBEHAVED WITH, you cry and become the victim! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[PatriceONeal]

I told this ugly Pakistani that she shouldn't manipulate men and her response is character attack, bullying and thr need to be right. No man in his right mind will ever love a miserable cunt like this one.

[Asker]

Aww what else have you got to say? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 you even look gay and you hated by the whole world! Anti lgbtq gang forever

[PatriceONeal]

Yeah I don't think it's natural. Keep trying to put me in a category that I publicly shame on this website. Genius indian girl.

[Asker]

Practice O Neal

[PatriceONeal]

Looking the way you do, I wouldn't talk about looks...

[Asker]

You illiterate don’t even know the difference between Paki and Indians ewww go study geography

[Asker]

Yeah but the way you look and things that you do, I just HAD to say something!

[PatriceONeal]

There's really not much of a difference. You all look sound and act like customer service.

[PatriceONeal]

*you're illiterate

[Asker]

Damn by you all you mean women and does that include the woman who gave birth to you? Wowzaaa

[Asker]

So you acknowledged that you don’t know geography loooool

[lightbulb27]

good job, hold your value back. might mean losing him.

2 years and met him once... this isn't real. sorry, but online isn't real... in person real life is real.

[Asker]

Umm I’ve met him around a dozen times why do people think it was just once?

[Asker]

And it was in person all the time so there was no internet

[lightbulb27]

mis translation "I went to his house in person first time"... I translated as first meeting, but this was first time to his house. gotcha.

I think hold your value! He needs to know your rules and what you want and expect. you don't sound like a door mat, so should be ok.

The thing is he may not be ready for serious relationship again and does he want what you want. that's important.

[Asker]

I went to his four for the first time but he had come to meet me a almost dozen times already before that!!! My mistake but I didn’t think people would perceive it like that but yeah that’s the truth I’ve met him quite a few times

[FilmGuy93]

You honestly just have to give the situation time. The guy has a divorce under his belt, and it can take a while to trust again after you go through a situation like that.

[Anonymous]

Divorce can be very painful and emotionally draining. And very lonely. Seems to like you but isn't up for anything deep.

[Asker]

He was married for only three mo the but got bai reputation ruined a lot for the divorce and after effects

[Opinion Owner]

Wow 3 months. Well that's a story and a half.

[Asker]

What dyu mean?

[jimmy2]

Him you are at a fork in the road. Your choice will effect your life so be careful on the choice. Sometimes at that fork I will back up a mile and stop , think, pray and then go back to the fork a make my choce

[Anonymous]

That's easy. You can't! Accept it and move on to someone else. Or accept that this is just your reality.

[Iron_Man]

talk to him tell him what you want

[Asker]

I did but he’s not ready for it…. But still hasn’t ended contact with me he often speaks to me first like I went to his house yesterday for the first time, to give him his birthday presents to which he said there’s was no need and forced me to stay over longer and said I’ll meet you over the weekend and we’ll go out for dinner like he shows love and care but he’s not ready for a serious commitment. What should I do to make him see me as the one? Also he shows possessiveness at times lol and hasn’t forced me to do share my assets with him EVER like I’ve not done the deed with him. I’m hoping you’d know because you’re also a man.

[Iron_Man]

You have to hang in there and be patient if you really care for this guy. Another good test is don’t give it up and see if he hangs around.

[Asker]

Would you go meet someone who lives far away from your house without wanting intercourse from her? And if yes why would that be?

[Iron_Man]

I will do whatever it takes to be with that girl I will wait until after marriage

[Iron_Man]

No sex

[Iron_Man]

You have to fight hard for women

[Asker]

So can you say he likes me if he doesn’t force me to do it with him? Because let’s be honest he can make so many fake promises and take advantage of his good looks and class but none of that ever! Two years is a lot of time for someone to be patient to fool someone. No fake promises no I love yous no intercourse but still meets me 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Iron_Man]

If he does all that and you communicate a lot and he helps you out and he doesn’t push for sex and he’s consistent with you then you have a keeper

[Asker]

He’s not consistent because that would make him think that now he’s in something serious and doesn’t want that because he himself said girls go crazy but you’ve shown me maturity so yes there’s a really good friendship between us he likes me not not enough to commit to me. Pls give me one solid tip on how to make him think of me as someone who is wife material? I can wait. I’ve been waiting for the last 15 months and I can wait longer I just need the right tip

[Iron_Man]

You have to tell me what kind of a person are you? How do you act on the dates what things do you to talk about what are your moral values? What do you think he’s looking for. You have to get into things like that for me to understand you better for me to give you an answer

[Asker]

I’m friendly and I become submissive with him I like it when he takes the lead he knows what he’s doing he likes control so I give it to him and because I’m sweet with him he shows me affection and care in return and he’s very friendly with me to like I believe you obey a man first nicely and then ask them to listen to you which they will and he buys food in dates dances with me cruises in his car listens to songs etc and likes intercourse but I have never crossed that limit with annoying before and he also knows that and told me I don’t want to do it with him he respects my boundaries. He got divorced in 2021 it was an arranged marriage after divorce he said I’ll marry the girl I like. So I want to avail that chance. And he’s really handsome tho and I know if he’s not getting his needs fulfilled from me he’s getting it from somewhere else but he’s also not in a relationship with me so I won’t call it cheating but I want one with him and pls give me tips. Just know we’re really friendly and caring and affectionate towards eachother.

[Asker]

Like I’m serious for this I can wait but also want someone of a yes from him too pls be nice all others are telling me to leave him as if I didn’t think of that before if I wanted to I’d not be here

[Iron_Man]

It sounds like you’re doing things perfectly and I hope he’s not cheating on you. Maybe he’s not the right guy if you think he has been

[Iron_Man]

I mean, if he has been, he’s not for you

[Asker]

No I know he has other girls as well because he’s. 32 year old man who has needs and has to get them fulfilled and he’s not cheating on me because he’s not with me what do I do to make him stick with me only? That’s ma question

[Iron_Man]

If I liked a girl, I would never date another girl at the same time you’ve been with him a long time now. I think he is the one that’s the problem.

[Asker]

Yeah so that’s my question how do I make him see me as the one because even players settle down with one woman that’s what I wanna know I did say he likes me but not enough to commit to me. He doesn’t want anything serious but I want.

[Iron_Man]

I don’t think there’s nothing more you can do you’ve been patient you’ve done enough already he is just looking for sex and enjoying his time. He’s not a husband material.

[In_Trance]

Move on

[Asker]

Looking for solutions here man

[In_Trance]

Finding a guy that's more suited to you rather than you trying to change ine that's not is the best solution.

You won't change him

[Asker]

I just would like him to accept me as someone he can spend his life with I don’t want to change him I just want him to feel differently for me maybe with time

[In_Trance]

Feeling differently is... a change

Call it what you want.

All women think they can change men; just like men think they can save women.

They can't

Move on

[Asker]

If I wanted to move on why’d I be asking for advice from strangers?

[In_Trance]

Because you fail to see other solutions when you're on the inside.
You're acknowledging what you want, not what you need

[Asker]

Okay