Will I ever be normal in dating due to this problem?

[Anonymous]

I have anxiety and borderline personality disorder servere. Obviously I’m in therapy just not meds as I still felt the same. For example a situation arises today the guy I’m dating ignored me and it gives me anxiety thinking omg have I done something wrong, does he hate me, what’s going on. And it really really affects me to the point I turn myself insane and I end up clinging onto the person which probably pushes them away because I get so scared I’ve been abandoned. How do I deal with this. The old me would have double texted him loads of times but I’m trying something new where I don’t double text and freak out. I just don’t know if a relationship will ever be possible for me as this always happens. I may not be acting on the fact he’s ignored my message but it’s sure I’m my head and I get so wound up and anxious. Do I express myself to him or do I just not say anything. I know he’s busy and he does a lot but I keep overthinking it.

[Anonymous]

Dating someone with anxiety issues or an anxiety disorder can be challenging. Sometimes it can feel like the anxiety is a third person in the relationship, someone who wriggles in between you and your partner. This person constantly sows doubt and confusion.

Most people have at least a few of these negative thoughts. They are a normal part of being in a relationship, especially a new one.

People with an anxiety disorder, however, tend to have these anxious thoughts more frequently and more intensely, which can turn into full-blown relationship anxiety.

Anxiety doesn’t have to put your relationship in jeopardy. By using the right coping strategies, you can have a healthy relationship and stop anxiety from causing too much stress.

There’s a difference between providing support and becoming your partner’s unpaid, unofficial therapist. A therapist isn’t going to hold your partner while they cry or take them out for something to help relieve the anxiety.

Yes you can with little efforts. Good luck.

I hope it helps.

[coachTanthony]

Keep going through therapy and let the guy know what is going on. Sounds like you also have a anxious attachment style as well. If he cares he will understand. The more he knows the more he can support or bolt. I would rather have him bolt now then bolt because he thinks your crazy months down the road.

[Changiis07]

It's normal to have these feelings but as time goes by you learn to be happy with yourself that you don't have to feel anxiety if they don't reach out, you learn that texting isn't everything and that a phone call is much better, it takes time because I was the same I would get a bit clingy but as time goes by you learn to change your mindset and know that you are a great person and if they want you in their life you will know

[Justneedtokno]

Yes you will, and there’s really no normal. The thing is you have to know about yourself is what are your boundaries

[Summeroflove]

You just need to find the right one. Yes

[jvnxs]

First of all, I'd like to say that I'm proud of you for being able to push through this. You're a strong young woman for being able to live through it, as someone who has Bipolar Disorder. I suggest you should get medication if you can, since it may help. You will always be normal, you just tend to experience more anxiety than others and that is completely alright. Learn some healthy coping strategies, confide in the people you love and do what you love. Try meditation, it helps me. It's something I do when I wanna calm down. Deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth also help.

I wish you all the best.

[Anonymous]

The woman i love has the same thing borderline personality disorder I've known that for years now and unfortunately she's w all these losers that she keeps chasing after which quite honestly breaks my heart because i been there for her for 5 years and love her deeply and immensely. As much as i may hate myself for giving this advice ill give it anyway to develop new behavioral habits/patterns new neurons and neural connections need to be made and old synaptic connections in the brain/old neural connections in the brain need to be broken. To do this the new behavior needs to be repeated consistently in order for new synaptic connections to be made. Very few doctors and practically no therapist or psychologist and psychiatrist will tell you this practically none because they're in business to make money which is you as a repeat customer who makes them money and there's no money to be made in curing people

[Opinion Owner]

There have been a lot of times where i thought about walking away when i see stuff like this posted because it makes me feel like ill never be good enough to be w her and it really breaks my heart each time seeing her w another guy it hurts. I did so much for her over the 5 years none of the bozos she was with had done a fraction of what I had for her. It just feels like immense betrayal and disloyalty

[Opinion Owner]

A lot of times it feels like she's just stringing me along using me to get ideas for her own career knowing full well how i feel about her and tossing my feelings aside just so she can profit off my ideas even knowing full well how much she abuses me mentally and emotionally

[Opinion Owner]

Just develop the new neural connectors new synaptic connections and break the old ones w the new repeated behavior and you'll be all set

[Asker]

Thank you for helping me I will help you. I will be honest it may be different for her but with me I always go for someone who I have to chase and who dosent treat me the best. Whenever there’s someone who actually treats me well it’s like my brain rejects the person and it just won’t work. Because of this disorder I always go for people who aren’t ‘safe’ in a way. Maybe you should stop doing as much for her and she will realise.

[Opinion Owner]

Also to help do this you could try positive and negative reinforcement to help develop new neural connections and break the old ones.. anytime you see yourself doing the new behavior reward yourself as positive reinforcement and when you see yourself slipping into old behavior negative reinforcement NOT punish yourself because you don't want to develop negative self esteem but negative reinforcement and also say ok i know i shouldn't be doing this what can i do next time so it won't happen again what can i do to prevent this

[Opinion Owner]

Just hurts knowing she'd rather be w other guys then me..
Anyways the postive and negative reinforcement should help in developing the new habits you're trying to develop but again i repeat DON'T punish yourself if you slip up you don't want to develop low self esteem issues because that will become toxic behavior for yourself in the long run

[Opinion Owner]

I thought of leaving but could never fully bring myself to doing so because I love her. I wake up at 3am 4am 5am even 6am w panic attacks and anxiety because of her. It's gotten so bad I'm actually afraid of her. She's just been so abusive to me emotionally and mentally. She knows i love her and yet she still treats me like shit.

[Opinion Owner]

I was there for her when she overdosed, i was there for her when her security were bringing their girlfriends to her house to live, i was there for her when a lot of people turned their back on her and even her former fans and friends talked shit about her, i was there for her when others were bullying her, i helped her w her music her career fuck i was helping her and by her side for everything all her extreme ultra low moments and her really high moments. None of the jerkoffs she was with and currently with did a fraction of that stuff for her. I mean seriously wtf

[Opinion Owner]

When people were giving her shit i was there backing her up i don't know wtf to do anymore. Christ even during her birthdays and holidays i got her a birthday cake and got her gifts. Like the first year i named a star after her, the second year got her a meterorite with a note saying if i could give her the moon i would, third year 1 ct diamond heart necklace and 1ct diamond earrings and flew 3000 miles to see her for her birthday just to get stood up by her 4th year a 14k gold butterfly pin because she was into butterflies, fifth year a 2 layer cake and a few other things. And when the jerkoff she's w now and her family and friends got her a 4 layer cake i was hurt and felt crushed because i was being one upped. That's not all whenever I see her w another guy i keep thinking to myself ok you're with me and here you are w this other guy as well when i been loyal and faithful to you but you can't be bothered to show me the same level of respect or the same amount of respect. And recently there were a few times where she really crossed the line and resulted in a massive argument when she posted a few things which really hurt enormously

[Opinion Owner]

When you said you chase after boys and go after boys who are unsafe it makes you sound like a girl instead of a woman which isn't a good thing and something you need to work on especially when you said you reject guys who treat you well that sort of personality is of immature girls instead of a mature woman. It might be a few more things to work on about yourself. Bit unfortunately the abandonment issues will always be there

[Asker]

Have you ever heard of the app Quora, it has a lot of information on BPD in such detail and about the ways one can think. It taught me a lot about myself after getting told I have it and it tells u how one can act and I’ve seen stories which sound a lot like yours. Do you think you’d be better off leaving her for good? It seems like she gives u more anxiety and sadness than happiness? Also I think that she isn’t happy within herself.

[Opinion Owner]

I tried but i love her to much to leave. And yes i have heard of quora i go on there sometimes

[Opinion Owner]

Well are you happy within yourself?

[MarquisdeSade]

Ya I'm Borderline too but none of us are labels; a human being is too complex for a label. The diagnosis should be a guide post to help in life's journey & help you make better choices.
If you're constantly texting him while he's at work then "yes", you're being overbearing. I told my nuclear family not to contact me at work unless it's an emergency; I'm too busy & it can wait

[Makeushiver]

Well I think the only way around it is through it. Courage is not being unafraid of something. Courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Once you do it once or twice successfully the anxiety will likely disappear.

[snowboarder720]

I’m pretty sure this is normal, actually. Mental health is severely underrated. I’m glad that you’re receiving help and coping the best you can.

[Jamie05rhs]

If the person you're dating ignores you, then they don't deserve you, and you shouldn't be dating them. Dump him!!

[boggboss]

I'm not sure if you will ever get over your overthinking

[Anonymous]

You don’t have that disorder. It’s not real.
It’s just a label for doctors to use to help you avoid dealing with the root cause of what’s bothering you. Think for yourself and quit using a label to live your life for you.

[Stevefiveo]

I think you are on the right track with therapy and you meet the right guy that will get you someday.

[Ryfyle]

You need some fucking meds

[OddBeMe]

Sounds like me, and meds did help in the long run.

[TallAnon]

Depends, how hot are you?