Should we keep Martin away from Cassie?

[Anonymous]

Sean and I have a friend called Martin, who keeps hitting on our friend, Cassie. Cassie isn’t interested in Martin, but Martin’s been in unrequited love with Cassie for eleven years. He’s always coming onto her and she’s given him no encouragement. She turned him down when he confessed his love eleven years ago and she ignored all his multiple long messages about himself. None of which made sense and all of which were super long. Should we keep him away from her in group activities? I don’t want to make her feel compromised.

[SnowedIn]

No. Babysitting Martin isn't your and Sean's job. But it sounds like Cassie needs to tell Martin to stop or she'll consider it stalking and take further steps. To be perfectly honest, if it's been 11 years, it is way suspect that Cassie hasn't done something more permanent yet. Also, if you and Sean are actually literally friends with Martin, you need to tell him that his behavior is worse than that of a middle school boy and to grow up. And also that he's acting like a stalker and to stop.

But, to your question: no. Not your job to figure out who is near who and why during group activities. If Cassie feels compromised, she needs to deal with it as an adult (I'm making the possibly naïve assumption that you profile age is correct) just as Martin needs to act like an adult.

All of this assumes that what Martin is doing is harmless puppy love crush stuff. If there's concern for Cassie's safety, then she needs to involve some form of authority.

[SnowedIn]

Thank you for MHO!

[Asker]

You’re welcome.

[Anonymous]

Yes, he sounds likes a psycho too.