Should a beautiful, single woman at 27 start to panic and settle down with whomever or wait for love/right person?

[Anonymous]

I’m not worrying about my looks fading soon - I’m a model and don’t even have wrinkles. I look young so still have time. Any comments about the “wall” will be deleted. I am a great person but am having trouble getting into relationships and wonder if I should just accept that I’m meant to be single with everyone else marrying.

Updates

1 y

I’ve had severe depression and anxiety over a lot of things. Please be mindful in the comments.

[abc3643]

If what you say is true, then you are suffering "Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2".
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If you Google "Beautiful Girl Syndrome", that's basically saying that beautiful girls can be bitchier and high maintenance because guys are willing to put up with more because she is so beautiful. Guys won't put up with so much shit and work if the girl isn't so attractive.

"Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2" is a phrase I coined, but it's a real thing I discovered not quite 40 years ago. This will take some time to explain...

All guys need to feel that they can "win". They view things as something like a competition in which there is some goal that they want to achieve. If a guy wants something and he believes that there is SOME possibility that he may get it, he will get emotionally involved. If he begins to believe that he won't get that, then he begins to withdraw and get emotionally detached. However, sometimes a guy doesn't even think he has a chance, so he doesn't bother...

And this is where "Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2" comes in. If a girl is really beautiful, a regular guy thinks:
1. There are a zillion other guys who want her.
2. She almost certainly already has a boyfriend.
3. There is no way she'd be attracted to me; I am not anything special.
4. If she did date me, she'd dump me for some better-looking guy who will hit on her and there definitely will be such a guy.
5. She's going to be bitchy and high-maintenance. (In other words, he thinks she suffers from normal Beautiful Girl Syndrome.)

So, he basically thinks that
1) he doesn't have a chance to get her,
2) if he did, he'll lose her, and
3) she's going to be a lot of work.

Because oceans of guys think like this - the only exception being the hunky guys - the beautiful girl either can't find a guy or goes with dickhead hunky guys (who suffer from Beautiful Guy Syndrome). Of course, the regular guys see the beauties with the hunky guys and that just reinforces their belief that they don't have a chance...

Oh, and one more thing: Since beautiful girls can get guys, they are getting laid... So, any new boyfriend has to "compete" against all of her past lovers and many guys don't think they are going to "measure up" (if you know what I mean) compared to those past hunky guys.

So, a beautiful girl needs to be proactive and hit on men instead of waiting for them to hit on her. A beautiful girl being proactive removes doubts males have regarding Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2.

[bamesjond0069]

You shouldn't panic but you should also realize things only get worse, not better. The men you have access to are generally going to be the best ones you will ever have access to. Short of you making drastic changes to your life which the average person is not willing to do. Ie move for dating prospects, change careers, engage in high level networking. Just some ideas.

So to some degree you should settle but also maybe your standards are too high? Something a lot of women struggle with right now is they want a man smart capable one with many options and the brains to know what's what YET he must also be willing to marry them. Which marriage is no longer a good proposition for men and most men with a brain are not doing it. So I mean... pick one or the other.

[Asker]

Well for one I have really classy taste which I’m not willing to compromise - I own a show horse, have really nice clothes and apartment, etc. I’m definitely classier than women in my demographic. Maybe I should move to Switzerland or somewhere where I’d fit in better. You say it gets worse but that’s what scares me because I’ve had so many horrible experiences with guys over the years, like really bad and saying it gets worse makes me think I’ll get murdered or end up abused if I wait too long.

[Asker]

Standards are definitely not too high. I deserve the best.

[bamesjond0069]

The things you say are not what men are into. So I'm curious why you think you deserve the best?

[CelestialDaisy]

Hell no, you won’t be happy just settling that’s for sure. Trust that what’s meant for you will never pass you by and don’t settle for less.

[Asker]

Honestly I’ve been feeling so hopeless. I feel like I’ve been doing a lot of things right and working on myself but have had no luck. I don’t sleep around or anything.

[CelestialDaisy]

I was the exact same way, you aren’t alone don’t worry. I gave up and was at my lowest and then I met someone so don’t lose hope. It will happen when you least expect it.

[Asker]

Thank you so much. I feel like I already gave up though and it hasn’t happened when my mind is off of it. I don't know I just feel depressed and want to be married.

[CelestialDaisy]

You don’t want to be married to the wrong person though, it won’t end well and you’ll be right back where you started. It’s hard but just keep trying it will happen, maybe do your friends know anyone nice they could set you up with?

[Asker]

I think some have mentioned setting me up but haven’t. I’m not sure where to really meet anyone but apps haven’t worked and I live in a big city.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

Don't ever settle. Wait for the right person, otherwise you'll become disappointed.

[Jamie05rhs]

It's not about panicking. There is no need to panic. Please don't panic.

Finding love and finding a relationship is not a chore. Stop thinking of it in those terms. Just open your heart up and date different people. And if the right guy comes along, Marry him! If he's NOT the right one, move on.

[Anonymous]

Maybe not panic but it's unreal how many good guys are basically ignored by women because they think they can do better rather than take an honest look at themselves and the kind of man they are going to get.

[Asker]

My standards aren’t insane. In fact I think I’ve dated some losers/guys who are genuinely terrible people.

[Opinion Owner]

Yet ignored some pretty decent guys to do so.

[Asker]

No not true

[Asker]

Most of them pretend to be good guys at first

[Opinion Owner]

Uh huh. Tell youvwhat you want to hear while yiu ignore good guys

[Asker]

I’ll get a good guy. I’m a good woman. So I’ll be fine hopefully.

[Opinion Owner]

If you open your eyes

[LiamSawyer]

Is it possible that as a model you're too good looking and intimidate some guys who think that you might be out of there league?

[Asker]

I’m flattered, but I’m not really sure what’s happening. Maybe I need more confidence and believe in myself.

[LiamSawyer]

@Asker I wish you had a profile photo it would help me help you. You could follow me or dm if you want.

[Asker]

I don’t feel comfortable sending photos lol but I’m 5’9” and thin, pale, long red hair, no freckles, green eyes, no plastic surgery or anything.

[LiamSawyer]

I love red haired women especially if they have a freckle free peaches and cream complexion. I wasn't asking you to send a photo.

[driven159]

No you just have come across your knight in shining armor, but it will happen don't bush it

[Anonymous]

I don't recommend settling for loser guys. I myself am looking for love and a good girl ☺️💕

[Astarlessnightsky]

no, it won't make you happy.

[Wise4myage]

Why would she panic?

[Asker]

Everyone from high school is married. I can’t even get into a relationship no matter how much I work on myself.

[Wise4myage]

If you're referring to getting married and raising children, then you have lots of time yet.

[Asker]

Why does everyone act like you only have until 30?

[Wise4myage]

Not sure, but they are wrong, so don't listen to them.