Is it normal for my boyfriend to talk about other girls to his friends?

[Anonymous]

Let me preface this by saying I know I shouldn’t have but I read a conversation between my boyfriend and his best friend. This friend is single and regularly talks about other girls which I don’t mind and my partner chimes in. Now I saw a message from my partner talking about a girl that goes to our gym “this chick that works out at the same time as me has a perfect body” I’m extremely hurt by this, and while I know it was invading his privacy, I don’t like my partner checking out other girls at the gym. We attend this gym together but don’t always go at the same time. I’m extremely fit and now I’m self conscious about myself and I think it’s because he used the word perfect. Any advice would be appreciated.

[Anonymous]

I don't know how much difference it makes. Like you can’t confront him about it without exposing the fact you went through his phone, and even if you did say something because you couldn’t help yourself, I’m sure he’d feel bad and apologize but he won’t reconfigure himself to find other women unattractive. So if that behavior is triggering to you (making you insecure, scared, distrustful, etc) then maybe he isn’t the right guy for you and you need someone without a wandering eye. But I doubt you have any desire of leaving him, so I guess you just need to move on.

[Guy13]

Yes, it is normal and that’s the place where we can do that safely…. until now. As long as he is not humanizing the gym girl then you’re good. When she starts becoming someone you should meet or is nice etc then worry.

In closing, you got what you deserved with “perfect” read. I am certain your Sum Total is much closer to Perfect than just perfect body girl 👧. Do have a perfectly good evening 😎

[OfMiceandMen]

Just bc he said to a friend, the girl has a perfect body doesn't mean he thinks your body is imperfect. He may feel the same way about you, but kind of hard to say something to your friend about your girlfriend in that way. Those are more personal thoughts and non-discussion topics between friends.

It was just a passing comment, don't read into it too much.

[FilmGuy93]

That is so normal, it's amazing to me that women get so bothered by it. He's not calling you undesirable or even remotely implying that you aren't hot.

The way I see things, your options are to either breakup and never date men again, or get over it.

[Anonymous]

Yes, one, stop reading invading his privacy. Two you will most likely, highly likely never find a man who doesn’t check out mother women. Even if you were “perfect” we as men will always see someone else who aroused our interest. The difference is whether we act on it or not. I mean how do you think he found you? By looking at many women in his life, narrowing it down to you. Not just based on looks but most likely personality.

[straightmax12]

I think that the most important thing is that he doesn't leave you for some woman who's hotter than you. He could talk about all of the pretty women in the world that he thinks is hotter than you, but if he wanted to leave you, he would have done it by now. Which means that he appreciates what he has now. Which means he still loves you.

[SnowedIn]

Yes it is normal.

It doesn't mean anything.

And don't go through his phone -- for your own sake.

[Jamie05rhs]

That was inappropriate of him to be checking out other girls and making comments about them. He's ina relationship. He needs to remember that he's taken and he needs to behave accordingly.

[spartan55]

So you expect him to not check out other women?

[Butterflyflyhigh]

Maybe he meant was u?

[Iron_Man]

What kind of a talk are they having?

[Flight0]

Not normal. Guys like that form their own groups

[Caliguy88]

Sure it is.

[ThomasDavid1989]

No, not really