Wouldn't ''a way to a man's heart is through his stomach'' fail if he's a great cook himself?

[ChicanaChick]

This is obviously old-fashioned and it's where a woman would win a man's love with delicious meals.

What if he's already a great cook himself (better than the woman) or even an expert chef? In that case, would just making him delicous meals to make him fall in love fail?

Updates

+1 y

I wonder how Gordon Ramsay's wife conquer him, lol

[caring__1]

Focusing on one aspect of a relationship will never give you an enduring quality meaningful relationship. Never put all your eggs in one basket. The key is to learn all you can about your partner, so you can discover what matters most to him. You want to address all areas that are important to him, not just one... especially if the one is what you want to do or assume he wants you to do, without finding out the truth. Everyone is different. Never assume a particular game plan will work in all games.

If, on the other hand, you aren't looking to do just one thing and just want to know how a partner will react to your effort not measuring up to his, that is a different story. A quality partner will never expect you to surpass him in all areas. He would probably appreciate your curiosity to improve your own cooking skills. Doing things with a partner adds value to that experience. Let him know you'd love cooking with him, and show an eagerness to learn. He wasn't born with the knowledge he has. Also, be prepared to laugh at your own mistakes, and don't expect perfection from yourself... just a good effort. Make it a fun experience rather than being serious or treating it as an obligatory chore.

[Vesuvius87]

Well said indeed. If that trick would've worked on every men then by logic, all of us would've been marrried already with kids, lol. It failed with me (still childless and single), lol.

[caring__1]

@Vesuvius87 Everyone is different, so there is no one-size-fits-all approach. What I shared commonly works, but you may find yourself drawn to a different type of person. Just find out what works for the type of guys you prefer, without expecting them to change for you... though you may prefer guys who aren't interested in marriage and family, so going down that path won't take you where you want to go. At my age, I'm not interested in anyone who is seeking a provider, marriage or family. I'd be more interested in someone who seeks no more than she brings to the partnership.

Also, understand most people are too self-centered to be healthy partners. When you choose a partner, find someone who is truly considerate of others and not just focused on his own sense of entitlement.

[Vesuvius87]

Actually I did wanted marriage and kids (at least one child) but got lied to. This is when the man makies promises and tells you ''I want marriage and kids too'' but strings us along and it goes nowhere. I'm actually an InSing woman, which stands for involuntarily single woman. It's not that I prefer men that aren't interested in marriage and family. I never wanted those men. It's the men that don't want to but I want to.. there involuntary. I'm childless and unmarried, NOT out of choice.

Insing woman (involuntarily single woman): a woman with an inability to get commitment (aka marriage proposal) from an exclusive long-term relationship.

[Vesuvius87]

I've been on dating sites since. I don't want to be dating forever, I don't want just a boyfriend forever. Yet the only offer I've received from a man saying he would grant me marriage after 5-6 months of date (one that's into dating fast) was an indeed super unattractive dude, out of shape and much lower quality, lower income, low in everything, a desperate type. I don't want that either.

[Vesuvius87]

We're the female equivalent of the incel, single man that can't get a woman to have sex with him. Similarly, if I wanted sex (but that's not the point) I would get it quickly (I still look much younger than my age), I can get dates, a boyfriend, taken to trips, gifts, everything from a man except a damn marriage proposal.

[caring__1]

@Vesuvius87 Men are just as likely to receive deceptive promises from women as women are to get them from men. My ex-wife claimed from the start she wanted to be a professional woman, only to discover all she wanted was to be a dependent. I'm in the process of getting rid of a tenant who has promised for years she'd pay rent (over $62K owed), yet all I see are empty promises, with no action to back up those words. I've known multiple women who said they appreciated me as I was and had no desire to change me... until they settled in and decided they had the right to mold me into their ideal. I'm flexible and willing to address anything, but I won't put up with anyone attempting to mold me. It's gotten to the point where I immediately end any relationship when I see the first sign of deception. I am clear about that from the start, so I see it as their choice, not anything I'm doing to them. I am happier alone than settling just to be in a relationship. That doesn't mean I wouldn't love being in a relationship, but I won't hold my breath.

[Vesuvius87]

I'm glad to hear you're getting rid of that tenant that isn't paying you. I hate people that can't keep their promises and transform them into words.
I no longer care if a man dedicates me songs and says ''I love you'', big deal. That means nothing anymore without actions. I used to be one of those women that would sometimes cook elaborated meals for a boyfriend and devoted myself too much. That has forever changed. I no longer cook for anyone except my family at times and myself. I don't even feel like posting any pictures anymore if I were to go out on a date and nowadays if a man says ''I want kids and family'', I'll take immediately assume it's like a telemarketer BSing you until he proves me wrong and actually follows through. I don't care about gifts nor sweet words anymore. They mean nothing.
Then someone that supposedly was interested in speaking to me was suppose to call me at 9pm and it's already 10 pm. I hate unpunctual people. I'm going to block him. Like you, I have no patience anymore. I'm tried of games, tried of liars, tried of BS.

[Vesuvius87]

''I hate people that can't keep their promises and transform them into ACTIONS.''

[caring__1]

@Vesuvius87 Your belief regarding words and actions actually goes contrary to what many women believe. It is common for women to prioritize words. They put value on specific words and want to hear them constantly. The less positive my ex-wife did, the more she demanded verbal reassurance. On the other hand, guys are more likely to see words as cheap and empty if not backed up by actions. Women say "Tell me," while guys say "Show me." I've seen women put up with relationships where the guy treats her like garbage, but he says all the right words she wants to hear. I've also seen women who dump guys who treat her with great caring and respect but don't say the words she wants to hear. The value of actions is important for all genders to understand, and words not backed up by actions are worse than meaningless

[Vesuvius87]

When we're younger and innocent then we don't know any better. I'm much older now and ''You're my princess (meanwhile keeping me as a girlfriend and no proposal)'' don't do anything. I've reached the point where I don't care for words anymore. In a way, I'm reacting the same as when you get constant phone calls from telemarkers lying about everything is for free or ''You're a lucky winner of $1,000, now all we need is, blah, blah'' and by then you're fed up and hung up. I'm immuned to words by now; it won't do anything anymore.

[caring__1]

@Vesuvius87 You mean telemarketers' words can't be trusted? What's the world coming to if we can't trust them? Should we rely on the words of politicians instead?

[Vesuvius87]

That was an analogy of what it feels like after getting strung along twice and a man promising kids and marriage (''one day we'll have a family''... same BS line). It feels like a telemarketer.

[Vesuvius87]

Too many liars out there.

[caring__1]

@Vesuvius87 So true. Even though they'll never get long-term positive from this pattern, they continue it because it is familiar. Hopefully, we all will take the time to look at our patterns and eliminate those that may be familiar but are dysfunctional. Unfortunately, people find it easier to blame others than address their own dysfunctional patterns.

[AydenHazor]

It's still true, but rather than just cooking for him, spend time cooking with him. I'm s pretty good cook and I love spending time cooking with people, so we have not just the food, but the quality time making it together

[ChicanaChick]

yeah I agree

[AydenHazor]

There's nothing better than spending a great time with someone you care about making great food

[Vesuvius87]

Yes it'll likely fail if he's a great cook himself. Then again, if only one single area in a relationship becomes the main focus then it'll fail miserably. It means you don't know the person very well. I learnt the hard way that's not all it takes and here I am, still childless and single at the age of 35.

Thinking that every single men will fall in love by just feeding his stomach is the same as men thinking all women will love him if he buys us jewelry or expensive perfumes. I'm not a fan of jewels, don't even wear make-up and I'm allergic to strong perfumes. How about be honest, punctual and turn your words into actions?

[TrueConfection]

😂 I always wondered what Ramsey's wife does. Does she dare try to cook him something? He's such a critic!

My dad was a wayyyyy better cook than my mom. However, anyone could win him over with delicious food. They were both pretty happy with their arrangement. He was the cook and she cleaned.

[mobiusforniner]

No, it does not fail. Actually, I love it.

Not gonna lie, I cook pretty well. My wife is a stay at home mom and won't touch the kitchen. She just never learned and doesn't care for it.

But ill tell you, I fall hard for girls who can cook. Maybe because it so foreign to me. This has, and continues to be a problem for me. Girls give me a home cooked meal and i be like "im in love". Lol

[TheSpaceGnome]

As a great cook myself, I can tell you yes, it definitely fails to hook me.
The way to my heart is shared interests and hobbies, intelligence, kindness, and being cute in both looks and behavior.

[TheSpaceGnome]

That an being VERY sexually attentive, but unless those others are met, I won't even allow this one.

[ChicanaChick]

The brother is the same too. He beats me at cooking, lol. He fell in love with his fiance through other ways.

[On_cloud_wine]

Well I dated a chef and so working over 50 hrs a week, was never in the mood to cook for himself… so that might work still.. I’m that scenario

[ChicanaChick]

Good point. He can be exhausted cooking all day long for clients. In that case, him coming home to a cooked meal makes sense.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

No. It might actually improve relations. Imagine if they're both well to do in that area, they could each other to even higher heights in their cooking skills. It's also great fun to do that together.

[ChicanaChick]

yeah I agree

[Lionman95]

I would still say yes because the main idea behind the proverb is at least to me the act not so much the meal itself. I think many guys like it if a woman takes effort to really do something for him.
You could think about baking if it´s more appropriate to you but I don´t think you can fail that way.

[Anonymous]

Looking for a mate is looking for a life time job, Traditionally for women that meant their ability to cook was a good selling point

[ChicanaChick]

and now some men have caught up. My own brother knows more recipes and is more creative at it than me, lol. I can't beat him at it. He's currenly engaged but he fell in love through some other way. Just cooking wouldn't have been enough for him. Times have changed indeed.

[Opinion Owner]

Some men are Chefs most are not. @chicanachick The biological need for women to bare and support young children and thus also be at home to do that puts them most ideally in the position for cooking as well.

The more we try to move away from said model the fewer successful children are born and raised and the more said culture that does "change" with said times relegates itself to history.

Yes times change, and cultures go extinct, historically cultures that go down the low birth rate route don't tend to recover. Ours will either rebel against this change and thus be seen as a new culture or it will continue to fade into history.

[bolverk]

No. I appreciate any one who can cook, but it is a sad thing today that the majority of women in the 18-30 year old demographic do not have the skills to cook simple meals, spaghetti with bolognese sauce for instance.

[RingOfFire]

Not necessarily. Nothing tastes better than a great meal cooked by the woman you love. The food tastes like love and you can't beat that recipe with any other ingredient.

[Anonymous]

Hehehe, i feel addressed now since i Cook myself. I can tell you cooking won't win my heart so much.

A girl can win my heart by loving me, giving me massages and having plenty of sexy sex with me.

[Anonymous]

I am a great cook myself. Not only can I cook food from all over the world but know the detailed history, and origins of most food cultures, and translated old recipes from Chinese, Latin, Victorian English, Sanskrit, and French. But other cooking can impress me but not like other guys.

Although I am not a professional chef but a scientist, it's just my hobby. Anyways a girl putting effort is always appreciative as most don't bother to do anything for their guys these days.

[Sixgunsound]

It's the thought and the effort that counts. Only a total asshole would criticize a woman who was making an honest effort because they are a better cook.

[abc3643]

The old adage always applies...

"Keep a man's stomach full and his balls empty."

[dolemite89]

not necessarily, it’s not just the food it’s that you like him enough to want to cook for him as a kind gesture that would get to our ❤️

[SlothySlob]

I'd say it'd still work. It's not the outcome that's important, it's the reason.

[Adam1978]

Then worship is ego as a chef and learn what needs he has and do the grocery shopping.

[chicosuave]

fuck that. now cook for me women !!! also clean the house bitch

[Aiko_E_Lara]

I'm a great cook and i don't think so. And actually be more happy to cook for my wife. Her way to my heart would be how she assist and for her to show support and appreciation.

[TopTier]

Only if food represents pleasure apart from sex. If all you offer is sex then you'll be used like a prostitute, or like he uses his own right hand.

[Stevefiveo]

Hmm, I think it will be a plus because then you two have something in common. Kinda like actors date actresses.

[Anonymous]

If he's a chef then just focus on below his stomach and I'm sure he won't complain.

[WhiteBoyChill]

Ya lol its just most guys are either mediocre or below average with cooking

[ChicanaChick]

Yeah as long as he doesn't know cooking much it'll work but definitely not on someone like Gordon Ramsay, lol.

[RedInnocent69]

It’s a lot harder, that’s for damn sure

[Flight0]

He would already appreciate food