Is my wife cheating or even emotionally cheating? I snooped through her that phone and found 2 cropped photos?

[froggyrob]

My wife and I have been arguing for a year straight. I usually feel like an unwanted roommate. So my suspicions got the best of me and I snooped through her phone. And found 2 things. 1 was the cropped photo she cropped me out of a photo and saved it in her phone, 2 her phone died as too clean not a word about me in any messages. I really think she’s deleting comments. So I confront her about my suspicions of cheating, and she loses her ducking mind. We start arguing and she takes our child and abandoned me without a car.

Updates

+1 y

Sorry for the spelling errors

[SteveSmith1985]

Shit dude. I'm sorry you ended up in a fight and she left with your child and left you without a car.

But... first let me say, that I fucking hate cheating. I wouldn't ever be hesitant to tell somebody that I thought their significant other was cheating. I feel like they'd have a right to know. I am not inclined to give anyone the benefit of the doubt. If you found something fishy... I'm looking to help you confirm (or refute) that suspicion. Because that shit is just wrong.

Nevertheless... I can't say that I see anything in the evidence you just presented. Now, obviously I do not know the context. I haven't been around to see how things have been between you two for the past year; I don't know who has done/said what in the past. In a way that leaves me handicapped. But in another way it might allow me to see THIS particular situation from a bit more of an objective place (uncluttered by all the bullshit that's happened already).

So what you found, is not evidence of cheating. It's just not. You have to make some serious leaps before you can turn it into evidence for cheating. There are perfectly valid reasons for cropping you out of a picture that aren't cheating. Anything from wanting a picture of herself (for any reason, there's plenty of innocent ones) to... the fact that you've been fighting for a year, and she probably thinks you're a bit of an asshole lately. She might just not want to look at your face but keep the pic. Maybe she did it some day when she was super-pissed with you after a fight? My point is... that it's a huge stretch to assume a cropped picture has anything to do with cheating.

The second piece of evidence is even less compelling. It's based on an unrealistic idea that she would necessarily talk about you in any of her messages. That makes perfect sense to me, for a couple whose marriage has been on the rocks for a year. There may not be a whole lot she has to say about you in her messages. That's not beyond the realm of plausability. But to conclude that since there's no mention of you, she must be cheating... I mean... that's... not sound reasoning. At all.

You have a feeling that she's deleting messages. But only because you're worried about her cheating. So you feeling that way, (without any real reason to) is just not something you can rely on. That's nothing but your suspicion at-play.

I wasn't there for the fight that resulted in her leaving. I don't know what was said. I do know, that her reaction is pretty consistent with somebody NOT cheating (it proves nothing, but it is more consistent with innocence than guilt).

Usually a cheater is going to either hold-fast to trying to convince you that they aren't cheating. Or, if you have so much evidence that they can't deny it, or if they've finally decided to say "fuck it" and admit the truth.

But... professing her innocence in a huge fight, then storming off with the kid and the car... to me, that sounds like someone who isn't cheating but is being accused of it. I think that's especially true because of the child. If she were running over to some dude's place after your fight... she's not going to bring your kid.

I donno man, I think your suspicions here are based on worry and vague suspicion. Nothing you found remotely makes it look like she's cheating. I would agree with you if I could. If I could stretch this into being a valid suspicion, I'm inclined to do that. But I don't see anything here man. You might want to reconsider this one. Sorry, and good luck.

[Ms_Facesitter]

I hope you saved as much proof as you were able to gather.

[froggyrob]

Why would she crop a photo like that? It’s a photo of us in basketball jerseys, and she cropped me out and it was like shoulders up.