forgive my English (not my 1st language)
so there was this extremely attractive guy and we liked each other since we saw each other and knew that. we talked very formally occasionally. he used to find ways to touch me or interact with me and he talked to nobody else. (i got to know through others that he liked me)
months passed by then there was this event where we had to wear traditional clothes and we talked as we had the same friends and we really got to know each other. we are a lot like each other and according to me it's hard to find someone who we have so much in common with and also that attractive. he complimented my beauty then he also complimented my figure and suddenly had this sexual tension between us.
we talked more and flirted a bit then we eventually talked about being friends with benefits and everyone around us sensed the tension between us whenever we met
it's been three days since we are friends with benefits but we haven't met as he is out of town right now. we exchanged photos of each other.
the thing which bothers me is that i just want more from this guy. I'm not looking for commitment right now, friends with benefits is my priority right now but we would have to end it someday and we would lose that connection. he also came out of a toxic relationship so i haven't talked to him about this
i would eventually want more from him as we have a lot in common. and i know he likes me but i also know that we aren't ready for being in relationship right now
i just don't wanna lose this connection over being friends with benefits and we also can't stay 'just friends'
i need some advice on what should i do and how to put this up if i have to
so there was this extremely attractive guy and we liked each other since we saw each other and knew that. we talked very formally occasionally. he used to find ways to touch me or interact with me and he talked to nobody else. (i got to know through others that he liked me)
months passed by then there was this event where we had to wear traditional clothes and we talked as we had the same friends and we really got to know each other. we are a lot like each other and according to me it's hard to find someone who we have so much in common with and also that attractive. he complimented my beauty then he also complimented my figure and suddenly had this sexual tension between us.
we talked more and flirted a bit then we eventually talked about being friends with benefits and everyone around us sensed the tension between us whenever we met
it's been three days since we are friends with benefits but we haven't met as he is out of town right now. we exchanged photos of each other.
the thing which bothers me is that i just want more from this guy. I'm not looking for commitment right now, friends with benefits is my priority right now but we would have to end it someday and we would lose that connection. he also came out of a toxic relationship so i haven't talked to him about this
i would eventually want more from him as we have a lot in common. and i know he likes me but i also know that we aren't ready for being in relationship right now
i just don't wanna lose this connection over being friends with benefits and we also can't stay 'just friends'
i need some advice on what should i do and how to put this up if i have to
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
If you want more from this guy just after 3 days, it means you were all set to want it before as well. You shouldn't have agreed for "friendship with benefits" but you're still on time to break it or formulate it again if you want. By stating you want a friendshp with benefits you are telling each other you do NOT want more, from each other, and that you both will keep dating other girls and guys in the meantime, possibly finding one to commit to (which is not anyone of you).
So in case he doesn't want a relationship or to be exclusive, you should run away and not make the mistake so many women do of hoping that through sex the guy will feel "that" bond but actually never happens and the woman gets progressively miserable. The more you invest in someone, the more you put them some value, and take off from yours if it's not reciprocated. Don't make sex like an investment. Have casual sex if you only want casual sex, but this doesn't seem to be the case, you seem like wanting to date a guy in an exclusive way but just waiting to know each other during the time to make it more official, slowly and calmly. Which is just what most people do, in fact, they don't seal the deal just in a month, most of the times. I'm in a "kinda relationship" from like 7 months and none of us has any urge to take it to any next level, but we are exclusive to each other.
So don't take a step back with this "friendship with benefits" if you're not ready to see him committing to another girl in an actual relationship, while still having sex with you the day before, for example.
If you want to be exclusive to each other (which is not what "friends with benefits" includes), you have to be clear about this, and see if he is on the same wave. It might be casual but if you want to be exclusive while you figure out the requirements for an actual relationship then that is just right and you should follow what you want, without fooling yourself (and him, indirectly). And there are chances he accepts this condition since you say you have so very much in common, that would mean he notices the same similarity on his side too and might consider dating you, if you tell him.
The more you compromise the more you'll get addicted and miserable so keep always your requirements and wills first. Communication, consent and honesty (within yourself and between each other) are the key.
thankyou so much for your advice i was looking for this and i really think you are right. i will talk to him about this and try to work it out. thankyou so much <3
i needed this
You are going to have to get together Sis this guy and do what friends with benefits do best - Fuck.