Do you think my boyfriend was sublety hinting at wanting kids?

[LovelyBones13]

Me (26F) and my boyfriend (31M) went to my parents to have dinner. My parents have recently been contacted again by my parental family after we have had minimal to no contact with them for 7 years. One of my cousins wants to organize a family reunion and emailed my parents.

I expressed my disdain, because of a lot of family drama that happened 7 years prior (the rest of the family trying to cheat my parents out of their part of the inheritance and estate of my late grandmother. They counterfeited my fathers signature, that he did not want his part of the inheritance). My parents are actually really excited to see everybody again and put all things in the past. All of my female cousins had kids in the last 7 years, within the contact seeking email they attached pictures of all the babies and toddlers.

I have never been into babies. I said this, because my mom thought me seeing all those little kids would make me happy and excited. I dismished that, saying I had no rattling ovaries (a common expression in my country to indicate a woman had baby fever). My boyfriend said that he would like to meet my parental side of the family and also see the kids. I asked if he had rattling ovaries, he said no but that I might have them once I would see all those kids.

We have been together for nearly 4 years. I bought us a house 2 years ago, for which he pays me rent. We own 4 cats. Me and him are both very succesfull in our career and we got very big promotions last year and we are both up another round of promotions before the end of this year. We work in entirely different fields. We never seriously discussed having kids and we often say stuff "gee I am so happy we do not have a kid to tie us down during vacations or causes us to not be able to spend money on stuff just for ourselves or the cats"

[Anonymous]

It's possible that your boyfriend was subtly hinting at wanting kids, but it's also important to remember that not everyone expresses their desires or intentions in a straightforward way. It's possible that he was simply expressing an interest in meeting your family and seeing the kids without any ulterior motive.

If you're unsure about your boyfriend's intentions or desires regarding children, it may be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with him about your thoughts and feelings regarding having children. It's important to ensure that you're both on the same page and that you both feel comfortable and happy with the direction your relationship is heading.

It's also important to remember that everyone's feelings and desires regarding having children can change over time, and it's okay to revisit the topic periodically to ensure that you're both still on the same page. Whatever you decide, it's important to prioritize open communication and mutual respect in your relationship.

[OlderAndWiser]

He can acceptyour statement that you don't want to have children and still retain that desire for himself. That is not dishonoring or disrespecting you in any way. He may feel that being the rest of his lfe with you is more important than having children. I would not make an issue of his comment, unless this becomes a recurrrent them in your discussions.

[VIVANT]

Ehh I’m not sure but you should talk to him to make sure he understands you are simply not interested in having children. It’s kind of annoying if he’s implying you may change your mind. I don't know I don’t find it cute. If he can’t take you seriously he may be Hopi v you’ll just change in which case he may feel betrayed when you turn out to her exactly as you say. Maybe he was just joking tho, light fun. I don't know either of you so I can’t say, but if you know at this point you don’t want kids, make it clear. He’s older he may have baby fever and not being forthright about it just hoping he’ll get his way, or he’s not thinking at all just feeling. Either way I’d have a gentle talk.

[Bricealan]

As usual, "lovely" a well thought out and expressed view. I have heard similar POV's by couples. I don't have children, and when married, my wife had children by previous marriage. She wanted to have child with me and I did not want that responsibility, as it is a HUGE responsibility in my view. I have also heard, what I consider a very selfish opinion, that couples want children so the "kids' can take care of them when 'aged' and bury them when the time comes. Not my idea of a good reason to have children.

You sound, by everything you write, to be very level headed, intelligent, and goal oriented and I see not problem in the way you feel regarding being a parent.

Thank you for asking for my input.

Bruce

[RobT312]

there's a chance he was. We are in the same boat 30,31 yo , 2 careers, house and pets. We are gonna dive in and do it!

[Guardian45]

Sounds like both of you do NOT have "baby fever", which is fine, but if you think you MIGHT want to have a child in the future, than DON'T ignore your "biological clock". I missed the boat and now I have to live a life of regret!

[Juxtapose]

Your relationship needs work if you're asking random strangers what he really thinks instead of him.

[In_Trance]

No I don't think so.

[Anonymous]

No...