Relationships

Who is in the wrong?

So me and my long term boyfriend have gotten into a small argument over an upcoming birthday party for one of his family members. Pretty much he wanted me to go with & I told him there’s not many family events I’m going to be attending in the future (except major ones like Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc.) given the fact that every time we go out some where he leaves angry, accusing me of embarrassing him and asking why I said/did certain things. And ultimately being upset that I made him look/feel stupid. He also cares a lot what others think of him (even his own family) which I think stems from his father always calling him dumb when he was growing up. Nonetheless, I am always blindsided and confused as to how we both had two different perceptions of the event. I feel as if everything I said was fine & warranted and friendly reaction from

his family & his thoughts are completely opposite. So am I wrong for not wanting to attend an event that I know will have a bad outcome & diminish my self- esteem?
He is not like this at all when it is just us two or he’s with my family. Also, I told him all of this & his perception is that I don’t want to put in effort, or it’s my own fault for my own insecurities. But at some point in the beginning of our relationship I felt really confident & loved being around his fam.

I also don’t know if I should just give up on us, I have a hard time letting go of things & I already have so much resentment built up that I don't know if I’ll ever look at him the same, especially because he is not very apologetic about the whole situation. I find that shitty, given I put all my effort into making him feel comfortable and good about himself. He has embarrassed me before but I would never think to tell him that.

You’re wrong
He’s wrong
Neither
Both
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Who is in the wrong?
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