How do you be suggestive with a friend without risking coming off too strong?

[Anonymous]

I feel like attraction is building between myself and a friend slowly over the last few weeks and I don't know what to do.

she's a shy person so tends to close up when she feels attraction, emotions, intimacy etc and go into like a shell, when most other people become physically expansive. So while most people would move towards someone if they like them and try to touch, she closes up and pulls away.

We're beginning to do more relationship things together and a bit of tension is beginning to form I feel but I don't know how to progress it. I feel like because she's my friend I don't want to just take the lead because that could ruin the friendship if she's not ready or hasn't made her mind up yet. For example we ended up laying in a field together last week on a rug star gazing. I felt like there was lots of feelings forming and 99% of girls I'd just turn over and kiss them because they obviously like me, but because she's my friend you can never be sure she's not just being friends and it's risking it.

There have been a few times recently where I've felt like we should kiss but I don't feel like I've got enough green lights from her yet. According to some things I've seen online I should wait and allow the tension and spark develop a little longer so she'll begin to make it more obvious, but what are some ways I could make things go down this direction when we hand out?

[Anonymous]

It's important to approach any romantic or suggestive actions with respect, sensitivity, and clear communication. It's also important to prioritize your friend's comfort and boundaries. Here are some tips to consider:

1. Pay attention to your friend's nonverbal cues: As you mentioned, your friend tends to close up when she feels attraction or intimacy. It's important to pay attention to her nonverbal cues and respect her boundaries.

2. Communicate openly and honestly: Consider having an open and honest conversation with your friend about your feelings and intentions. Be clear about what you're looking for and ask her how she feels.

3. Take things slow: It's important to take things slow and respect your friend's pace. Don't rush into anything without ensuring that she is comfortable and ready.

4. Be respectful and understanding: If your friend doesn't feel the same way, it's important to be respectful and understanding. Remember that your friendship is important and that you don't want to risk damaging it.

5. Create opportunities for intimacy: You can create opportunities for intimacy by planning activities that encourage physical closeness without being too suggestive. For example, you could suggest a picnic in a quiet spot or a hike where you can enjoy nature and each other's company.

Remember, it's important to prioritize your friend's comfort and boundaries and to communicate openly and honestly. It's also important to respect her decision if she doesn't feel the same way.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Yeah don't just kiss her.
That sounds like the perfect Hollywood romance thing to do, but things could go very wrong if she doesn't feel the same way.

Just say, "You know what, one of these days I'm gonna take you out and make you fall in love with me, but for now you're a pretty cool friend."

Then laugh it off like you were just kidding. Either way you'll get a pretty good idea about how she feels depending on how she reacts.
If she reacts poorly, you have plausible deniability, given that it was a joke

[WanderingLoveWizard]

As a side note: "Maybe some day" is girl talk for "Not a chance buddy"