I had a conversation with a friend who knows me very well. He said I was a very interesting and well-read person who speaks poetry. But he also said that the fact that I put so much pressure on my career success and on planning my future makes me an overthinker, and it's not easy for someone to be around someone like me. He said it was no wonder I am single and all my relationships failed, because most women can't stand being too close to someone like me for a long time. While they are extremely attracted to my personality at first, after a while they would rather run away from me and be with a simple guy, not with someone with such a an intense inner world. He might be right that a woman wants to feel relaxed and not tense around her partner, but I am very ambitious and I can't help talking about my job and path to success all day long.
Is it possible that girls lose their attraction for me because I am an overthinker? How do I overcome my overthinking?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
I’m a little confused. Are you driven by ambition or fear? You say you have ambition, and that’s a good thing to have. It’s attractive! When you say “overthinking” I hear “fear of failing ”. How do you respond to failure? What are you like when the plans you make fall through?
What inspires you? Any hobbies? Favorite past times? What about marriage and children? What are your desires for your future family? I love when men talk about their careers, but I want to know more than just about their jobs.
It's not a fear of failure, it's just acknowledging a possible failure and taking all possibilities into consideration. It's more like I plan everything and I try to control everything about my future and think about it in advance and women might feel that I am too predictable or too rigid. When my plans fall through I tended to be frustrated and bitter, but I've cultivated a mindset of acceptance lately. I read and I do exercise in my spare time, and I talk about reading a lot as well, but my last girlfriends got tired of me elaborating on the ideas I read. They were like: It's interesting and I like that you are very enthusiastic, and I don't want to stop you, but I'm tired, I want to go to bed
No woman worth having.