Wife and I've been married for 5 years. My wife has a close friend at work. Recently, when I went to visit my wife, I caught them kissing! I immediately showed up and pulled her away from him. Now my wife tells me that the guy forced her even though she told him to stop. Do you think it could be true? I really don't know what to do
Your marriage is over. My brother went through this. Here is what my father who is a lawyer told him to do about it, some of it may not apply to you.
• Accept that your marriage is over and start preparing the ground to leave her.
• Let your wife think you have forgiven her and still trust her even though she's likely still sneaking around having sex behind your back.
• Reduce the hours you work to part time so your wife earns more than you or leave your job lying to your wife as to why so she doesn't suspect anything. When getting divorced because she earns more than you she will have to pay you alimony instead of you paying her.
• Become your children's primary care giver, if she is working and you are part time or unemployed shouldn't be too difficult and she shouldn't suspect a thing. This way when it comes to child custody you will be granted full custody and child support from her.
• Start liquidating into cash any savings you have in your own or joint bank accounts without her knowing. Do this with any stocks, shares, bonds etc. Sell or give away and property you want to keep to someone you trust. My brother sold his 2 cars to my Dad who let him use them until the divorce was settled. Stored a lot of his personal property at my dad's house.
• Change the locks on the family home when she's out cheating. Keep her out of the family home when it's time to end things.
• Gather evidence of cheating. As much as you can. My brother's ex was mortified when her parents found out and her kids didn't want to know.
• Always be the calm reasonable one even when she's being verbally abusive. Record everything as you may need it if the cops are called
My brother ended up with full custody, child support, alimony, the family, a good deal of joint money and assests. He's now back working full time in a stable relationship with a better woman. He's in a much better place though he said he mourned her as though sh was dead when he caught her cheating that's just how it felt to him as she wasn't the person he thought she was, that person never really existed, it was just a version she projected of herself to get him intrested in her.
Great points.
@es20490446e I think men often lose a lot of ground at the start of divorce where the wife was cheating because they are so shocked and emotionally hurt that they can't think straight.
That's good. It is tempting to dummy spit and yell but that is mere self indulgence. I understand your brother mourning because it is like that. You mourn that life together that was mapped out in your mind. I remember thinking 'it can't be true' over and over but when the scales fell fro my eyes the writing was writ in large letters on the wall. I believed what she said and projected.
I did somewhat similar but most was not relevant in my case as no kids. Hey - still got all my own assets!
I think it's nature of people to try to fix things.
But sometimes the other party is not capable of that.
Well This is a messy situation. This person is a coworker? She is a grown woman. If she knows this man is attracted to her, what's she doing in this situation with him? I have doubts about him "forcing" a kiss on her. Sounds like she was caught in the act and couldn't think of anything better to say. They were both caught in an embarrassing act.
A kiss isn't the end of the world, but you're going to have to have a serious talk about this incident with her. If she's lying, I'm sure eventually she'll tell the truth. It's likely a romantic dalliance that's given her a thrill. But after you witnessing this kiss, the thrill is completely gone.
You need to find out where her head is. What's going on in your marriage or with her, or both. Is she bored? Looking for thrills she no longer gets? You've been married quite a few years. Get down to brass tacks.
THis kiss sounds like the offshoot of something deeper that's going on with her or possibly the both or you and your relationship. Find out.
This is a very difficult situation to be in, and I'm sorry that you're going through this. It's important to take some time to process your emotions and think about what you want to do next. Here are a few general pieces of advice:
1. Communicate: It's important to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about what happened. Ask her to explain her side of the story and listen to her perspective. Make sure you express your own feelings and concerns as well.
2. Seek support: This can be a very emotional and overwhelming experience, so it may be helpful to seek support from a therapist, counselor, or trusted friend or family member. They can offer a listening ear and help you sort through your thoughts and feelings.
3. Consider counseling: If you and your wife decide to work through this together, consider seeing a couples counselor. They can help you work through the issues that led to the infidelity and provide tools for rebuilding trust.
4. Take time to reflect: It's important to take some time to reflect on your own feelings and what you want for your future. Consider what your boundaries are and what you need in order to feel safe and secure in your relationship.
Ultimately, the decision of what to do next is up to you. It's important to prioritize your own emotional well-being and make choices that align with your values and needs.
File for divorce and realize you married a whore , Most affairs occur at work, so for that guy to be kissing her he was definitely working his charm with her and flirting with her for anime , He didn’t just walk up to her and just start kissing her that is a load of shit. He was slowly working his way to get her drawn to him and she fell for it , meaning she doesn’t truly love you , she just likes the convenience of you , When a girl loves her man she will not put herself in situations like that , she would immediately tell the other guy that she is happily married and to take a step back , the fact that she didn’t do that for you shows her true colors , that she was easily pulled away by another guy that was telling her what she wanted to hear and basically saying you were an asshole that you don’t listen to her or you don’t care about her etc. So this other guy made her feel better about herself and became a shoulder for her to cry on when really this other guy was just thinking with his dick , So do yourself a favor bro and divorce her ass , she clearly cheated on you and she is going to make every excuse as to why it happened so she can write Sucker on your head , Kick her back to the streets where she belongs , Girl’s like that don’t know what it means to be in a relationship , she is clearly a selfish whore
Opinion
46Opinion
Nasty. How did she even SAY stop when her lips were on his?
Does she NOT have a head and neck? Where were her hands? At her sides?
She didn’t turn her head? Scream? Call for help? Put hands up?
I’m sorry dude, but it doesn’t look good.
Test her on it and suggest
”should we file a report on him to the police? For sexual harassment?”
with maybe a spiced up
“we can also get a warrant to see if he has a history of any bad/malevolent behavior.”
“Just let me know, and I’ll do it right away.”
See how she reacts.
listen to what she says.
If she doesn’t seem cautious about the police involvement but seems defensive for him or almost upset? Then yeah, she’s got some feelings for that bastard.
As far as if they did do something immoral, then I would focus on how you wish to respond/react. Gather your thoughts. Be logical.
Nothing impulsive or anything to regret later.
I do apologize. Such a nasty situation to have to behold.
(Unless people are into that sort of thing 🤷♀️🤦♀️).
u "my wife tells me that the guy forced her even though she told him to stop." If that is what really happened, that is a battery, and your wife shoud have reported it to law enforcement for arrest and prosecution. Did that happen? Why not?
Dude, your marriage is probably already doomed. Sorry!
Taking accountability isn't exactly what women are known for. Accept that the whole "I was forced" stuff is just a lie. The fact that you just happened to run into it happening says what the chances are of it happening a whole bunch when you don't catch it happening... pretty large.
This marriage is over unless you accept some very bad facts about your woman. I would suggest you pay good attention to what the female Anon is saying from her lawyer father... that's legit advice.
The point I'd like to drive home is this problem is probably a lot worse than anything that was as blatant as catching it randomly happening. Let us just say you never caught that happening... would you have even heard about it? If you didn't interfere, would it have just kept going? I think deep down you know the answers to those questions. The likelihood of it being worse than what meets the eye is pretty great.
Well she is full of 💩. I am so sorry that you are experiencing this.
Me, I get physical pain from betrayal and cheating so I would have to leave. If you can weather the storm then stay.
Her quitting her job won't solve the problem.
That being said, you could be a crap husband or she has had your balls on her nightstand for so long that she doesn't see you as manly. Still no excuse to cheat.
I also don't know if you are a cheater.
I wish you the best in this very awful situation.
that happened to my wife, when she was married before. This is the problem with getting too close with co-workers, men can get the wrong impression and get aggressive. Some men feel more comfortable with married women.
What a sleeze ball lame dude, that guy needs to be out of your life no matter what and to be beaten. That close friend gets the boot...
People are stupid, ... remember that... it will pay dividends
Gee... ya see why some cultures cover the women up and hide them in the house?
you could invite him over for dinner and a "three some". After dinner, introduce him to your weight lifting friends... Hank and Rico to work him over a bit... that's how things used to be handled back in the olden days.
Did it look like she was trying to pull away? It only takes a split second to avoid someone's face, even if he took her by surprise and was holding her in place for the kiss. Her body language would tell me everything, she would have tensed-up and tried to pull away. If there was no attempt to avert the kiss, then she did it voluntarily.
I think it would be pretty obvious.
The only other way you can see if she has feelings for him is to test the situation. Tell her, if he did it without her permission, you think she should have him charged with assault.
If she is reluctant, then you know she was okay with the kiss, and it is time for her to go.
She was never your wife man. Within a relationship, people outside of it are not your competition, its that persons values that are. In other words, you can be the best fit for someone, but if their values are trash, their behavior will eventually align with those values, its just a matter of time.. I think as men, many of us tend to make decisions about a woman's character based on what she looks like, and it almost always comes back to bite us in the ass. That's not to say that's what happened here, but it is to say that you're relationship is over, and you can now look forward to a better relationship with a woman that is capable of being loyal. There are better women out there so file for divorce, and embrace creating the life you deserve. Good Luck
Yeahhhh…. 😬 that’s not likely the case.
So many men are afraid to even attempt to harass a woman these days that I just don’t think that is. Even I as a harassed woman. Harassment doesn’t work like this.
She somehow allowed that other man to make out with her. And it just happened that you caught her red handed.
I also don’t think that she was being harassed and didn’t even tell you her partner at some point. A harassed woman feels vulnerable and helpless. She would’ve already got that man fired.
she's lying 🤥
I'm calling BS. I assume it was kissing on the lips. If she was physically forced, why didn't she just turn her face so lip contact was avoided. Most women would.
If she was forced then it was sexual harassment. Demand she makes an HR complaint if she wants to keep you as a husband. Bet you she won't.
If they kiss at work then you can reasonably assume other stuff happens outside of work.
Adding to my previous comment. If you are in a no-fault divorce jurisprudence then I wouldn't go further. If you are in a fault divorce jurisprudence you might be better off outwardly accepting the explanation and after it settles down hiring a private investigator.
In any case it is worthwhile consulting with a lawyer on the best way to get rid of a cheater with your assets intact.
What you should do?
No offense but you're asking this almost as if you are a cuckold.
I would have captured evidence and filed for a divorce. No negotiations. Nope. Nada. Can't hear ya. Get outta my face! *put my fingers in my ears* LALALALALALALALALALA divorce divorce DIVORCE LALALALALALA...
LALALALALALALALAA
@Reem12345reem Glad you say it with me :)
LALALALALALALA
😊😊
I thought u didn't hear me
@Reem12345reem I don't hear cheating whores. 😁
oh. glad that u can hear me then
@Reem12345reem acknowledged
People don't just accidentally kiss - there are many events that take place before that happens. Aka she had many times to shoot down his advances. First and foremost, stop calling her YOUR wife, she wasn't sorry she kissed him, she was sorry you found out. Be prepared to file a divorce.
do not take her back. my friend was having some dude at work flirt with her on text message. her boyfriend at the time saw and then she almost killed herself because he didn't believe her that it wasn't what it looked like. long story short, they ended up marrying and she's still insufferable with her depression and woe is me pay attention to me crap. so if you want to be in the same shoes...
They're not just kissing. He's fucking her too. He probably blew his load into your wife's pussy multiple times by now. Then she tells him how much she loves him while they talk shit about you and laugh at what a chump you are.
There's only one thing to do here, my friend... you know what that is 🔪
If, in fact, that did happen, there is not much you can do. Of course she lied because that was her only choice. However, next time she will be careful so that you don't catch her. It doesn't matter anyway because he is not going to wear it out.
Remember how Eve listened to the serpent and gave Adam the fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, despite the Lord having commanded not to eat its fruit?
That's all you need to know.
Divorce her and take all her money! Make sure you win the case evan if you have to lie. There are better women out there.. somewhere..
😂😂😂
She's 99% sure to be lying, but you can test it by making her file a report with human resources and then by filing a sexual harassment lawsuit against the company if they do not terminate the guy.
Forced my ass. I'm assumming she described a male coworker as a friend prior to this event. Hopeing alarm bells started ringing here for you.
You said you were “visiting” your wife. To me that implies you don’t live at the same place. If I’m not reading too much into that, are you sure kissing is all they have done?
The only thing I can think of to really help in this situation is a polygraph test. They are far from perfect but what else do you really have?
Hard one to anwser. Options are divorce, do the same thing, tell them you knkw, see how they will make it up to you, use as leverage the list goes on. Let your mind run wild... no murder or anything physically or mentally bad.
Ouch. It’s deeper tho dude. Seriously. I know the kiss is the fire but the blue part pf the fire is where the problems are. If it’s too much, you got a easy out, if it’s cool to move forward, it’s a chip to motivate her.
She would have to do a lot of explaining and lots of grovelling before I would even think of forgiving her.
No, she knew what she was doing. It is clear she has intentions to cheat on you.
Your wife is having an affair, man. He didn't force shit on her. Either get to couple's therapy to work things out, or cut bait and run.
you're getting taken advantage of my dude , grow balls and end it
It can be true. Many men don't understand no. And many people feel turned on when u tell them you're married.
Anyways, I suggest you talk to both of them simultaneously and ask them what really happened.
Bull 💩
You must be new on GaG
Not even remotely.
I know work situations and his wife is full of it.
And I know how many guys would seize the opportunity if my mom ever lets them. It's insane — people are attracted to taken people!
Gives them a sense of achievement to know their partners can't give them what the they as the third person are offering.
Some people also have low self esteem. They'd rather be the side piece of somebody else's relationship.
Yes all true what you say, but this guy DID NOT force himself on her at work in this me too climate. End of story.
Whatever. I'm believing her.
It's sad. I remember when I use to like girls who were already taken. Back when I was like 22. Dumb. Even if you can get that girl, you dont want her. Anyone that would cheat or straight up leave their guy means it can happen to you. If you do something once you are more likely to do it twice. Plus I dont want to bring some guy pain.
The guy she mentioned clearly hasn't learnt that lesson.
@DermalPunch heard that? There are people who make this mistake.
when you see them kiss does it look like your wife was forced?
I would ask the guy what happened.
If the story is sketchy, I would assume that my wife was cheating.
He is the key, you should talk to him because we don't know how much she's willing to do to hide this, he has no benefits in hiding this
Demand she either presses charges against him and has him fired and arrested OR she quits if not you should divorce her.
There are no other acceptable options.
Did she looke she was forced before you pulled them apart? If not i would not believe her
Tell her to file a police complain on him. If she doesn't then she's lying to you. Dump her.
Or maybe she will file just to throw him under the bus, while saving her ass.
Don't let her manipulate you. She knew what she was doing. I would divorce her. Plain and simple and don't even think about looking back.
Yeah, she’s probably doing much more with her coworkers behind your back. It’s pretty much over when the wife cheats.
Your wife is having an affair with this guy. If you don't mind putting up with it, do nothing. If you do mind see a divorce layer.
Something is missing from this story.
sorry brother marriage is either over or she wants it open
No not true imho, she's probably already being unfaithful,
That’s insubordination totally unacceptable
Dump her
Let them be together , you anull and find someone else. American women 💯🚩👹🐑
Divorce her and keep what is remaining of your dignity and self respect , any man at that moment will tell her to fuck off
Your wife have a close friend who is a male?
Bro it's the biggest red flag.
You pulled her away. She didn't.
Hopefully you signed a prenup.
m kiss him too to establish dominance.
Seems quite unlikely.
Beat his ass and dump hers
It's normal for married women to cheat.
Boot her ass to the curb!!
What does your gut feeling tell you?
You should never trust her again
divorce her
no forced kissing : )
Leave her.
Divorce.
File for divorce
Divorce.
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