Married coworker tried to kiss me?

Question

I went to an office party. There is a coworker who is always kind of flirting and teasing me. He's a married guy and I have a boyfriend. I think we have chemistry but I could never get involved with him, because he's married, I have a boyfriend and he's my colleague. I think he fancies me. So at the end of the party (we all stayed in a hotel) he insisted on guiding me to my room, to which I said no because I was capable of doing it by myself despite being totally drunk (everyone was). When I opened the door and said thank you and goodnight, he asked me if I wasn't going to invite him in, I told him with a shocked look on my face "why would I do that? no, you're a married man!". He then asked me for a kiss, I refused it again. He told other stuff I can't remember but then left. Then I was alone, feeling kind of proud of myself and regretfull at the same time. I'll be honest, I can control my actions and decisions, but not my desires. I would've said yes if we both were single. I made the right decision (he underestimated and disrespected me and his wife, he's a married man and he knows I have a boyfriend, but nonetheless he made a move at me while I was drunk, thinking it would be easier for me to give it all away? He thinks I am that easy?), but at the same time I feel a little regretful. I'm so confused. I would be regreting it a lot more if had allowed it... I'm not happy in my relationship and I've been thinking about breaking up, could it be because of it? Maybe I felt appreciated in some weird way? For him I'm just another one, I hope now he knows I am not some chick he could just cheat with on his wife and then act like nothing happened like he must do all the time, so I hope he respects me a little more from now on. I don't even have feelings for the guy, but I can't lie either and say I'm completely unmoved by him. I also care how he feels about me rejecting him. I feel so confused by this... this is messy and F'd up... Would like to hear your thoughts!

Answer 1

anon_anon_anon

Xper 5

It's refreshing for you to have such concern for his wife. I respect that so much. When someone cheats, the purpose who knowingly helped them cheat is just as bad. The man definitely sounds arrogant and you're right, he lacks respect for both you and his wife. Honestly, as someone who's been cheated on, I wouldn't let him slide this under the rug. If he's almost cheat on his wife, who's to say he wouldn't with someone else or hasn't already. If his behavior persists, id go to HR

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1 Person

infjmary

+1 y
He most certainly did it already, if he did not, he will very soon. I don't know his wife but I am sorry for her. She looks like a sweet girl.
anon_anon_anon

+1 y
A lot of people might disagree with me but I think you should tell his wife. My live in girlfriend of 3 years cheated on me 4 times while we dated. Was I naive for not knowing? Maybe. But all it would've taken is one person to speak up and tell me. She had friends who knew and they never told me because "it wasn't their business". I can't describe how much I disagree with that sentiment.

It's not fair to his wife. I have absolutely no sympathy for cheaters. But It's understandable if you want to stay out of it because you don't know her personally. It's still highly respectable that you maintained your dignity and turned him down despite your own desires. It's also honorable that you show concern for your boyfriends feelings even if you're unhappy in your relationship

Answer 2

infjmary

He most certainly did it already, if he did not, he will very soon. I don't know his wife but I am sorry for her. She looks like a sweet girl.

Answer 3

anon_anon_anon

A lot of people might disagree with me but I think you should tell his wife. My live in girlfriend of 3 years cheated on me 4 times while we dated. Was I naive for not knowing? Maybe. But all it would've taken is one person to speak up and tell me. She had friends who knew and they never told me because "it wasn't their business". I can't describe how much I disagree with that sentiment.

It's not fair to his wife. I have absolutely no sympathy for cheaters. But It's understandable if you want to stay out of it because you don't know her personally. It's still highly respectable that you maintained your dignity and turned him down despite your own desires. It's also honorable that you show concern for your boyfriends feelings even if you're unhappy in your relationship

Answer 4

OliverStunt

Xper 1

Isn't you rethinking the situation connected with problems in current relationship?
Don't let the moment of weakness make you dwell in closed past. If you keep on thinking about them, you won't find anything new.
I mean, you can, but I doubt there's anything to be found. May you find happiness and pride in keeping your loyalty to your b0i! ;*

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infjmary

+1 y
I really think it is. I've been thinking my relationship for quite some time now, we talked about everything on our mind but I am still resenting him. And he won't change, so... but I could never cheat in any relationship, no matter how bad it was. much worse with a married man. I drank so much because I needed to have fun and escape my thoughts for a bit.

Answer 5

infjmary

I really think it is. I've been thinking my relationship for quite some time now, we talked about everything on our mind but I am still resenting him. And he won't change, so... but I could never cheat in any relationship, no matter how bad it was. much worse with a married man. I drank so much because I needed to have fun and escape my thoughts for a bit.

Answer 6

thechico79 | 84 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 6

do not i repeat do not feel bad about the situation. He is a married man and knows damn well what he tried to do is wrong. He just tried to get you to go along with it. Not the type of person you will want to get with even if you both were single because he will try it on another woman.

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1 Person

infjmary

+1 y
Yeah, you are totally right. He was a bit of a son of a B.
Should not be overthinking this. Maybe it's because this never happened to me before
thechico79

+1 y
always a first time for everything ;-)

Answer 7

infjmary

Yeah, you are totally right. He was a bit of a son of a B.
Should not be overthinking this. Maybe it's because this never happened to me before

Answer 8

thechico79

always a first time for everything ;-)

Answer 9

thomascale18

Xper 7

You made the right decision when most others would not. If you think there is a problem in your relationship, deal with it or break up before sleeping with someone else. That guy is an asshole to do something like that especially considering he's married.

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1 Person

Answer 10

Gedadia

Xper 5

These sort of things happen at party's. If he is just likes you and having a laugh no problem but if he is trying to get into your knickers better stop it quick !!!

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Answer 11

sweetpoison69

Xper 2

You made right and brave decision at difficult situation. One must not cheat in a relationship. If you're not happy with him just break up and live a life as you want and don't feel sad for that.

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Married coworker tried to kiss me?

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