How does one get over the fear of being hurt?

[Singing_Hollow]

After not dating for 3 years in order to get over the hurt of being cheated on, I thought I was finally ready. I found an amazing man who adores me but I still get that stupid insecure feeling that even he will end up hurting me. I have had horrible dreams lately of him cheating on me and me running to get away. I wake up crying and it carries on in my mind all day which just put more insecurity in my mind. He hasn't shown in anyway that he can't be trusted but the fear is still there. I feel I have been hurt so many time in my life that if it happens again that I might not recover again. I dont mean to feel like this but the dreams just make it worse.

Have you felt like this and how do I try and fix it? I dont want my past experiences to be the reason I lose an amazing man.

[Anonymous]

It's completely normal to feel afraid of being hurt after experiencing past traumas or betrayals in relationships. It's important to acknowledge and validate those feelings, while also taking steps to overcome them and build trust in your current relationship.

One thing that might be helpful is to talk to your partner about your fears and insecurities. Let him know that you've been hurt in the past and that you're working on overcoming those feelings, but that it's something you struggle with from time to time. This can help to build trust and strengthen your connection.

It's also important to work on building your own self-confidence and self-worth. This can help you to feel more secure in yourself and in your relationships, and can make it easier to trust and open up to others.

In addition, practicing mindfulness and self-care can help to reduce stress and anxiety, and improve overall emotional well-being. This might include things like meditation, exercise, journaling, or therapy.

Remember that healing from past traumas takes time, and it's okay to take things slow and prioritize your own emotional well-being. Trust is something that is built over time, and it's important to be patient and compassionate with yourself and your partner as you work towards building a strong and healthy relationship.

[caring__1]

Focus on yourself rather than others. Your insecurity is based on feeling you don't measure up, so that feeling will never go away by focusing on others. Determine what your expectations are of yourself. Eliminate the unrealistic ones and then set a plan to address the realistic ones. When you see the value you bring to a relationship, you'll no longer live in fear of a partner cheating, as you'll realize that choice would lead to his loss, not yours. Find ways to believe in yourself.

Also, it helps to learn to be more observant, allowing you to see what actually exists rather than just see what you want to see. Learn about a potential partner's patterns before investing significantly. Never assume he would never treat you as he's treated others.

[Singing_Hollow]

Great advice, thank you.

[caring__1]

You're welcome.

[Bklynbadboy12]

All you need is time and some positive experiences so that you can see that everybody's not out to get you that every relationship you get into you won't come away hurt and once you do that I think you'll be fine. What your experiencing is pretty normal. When you get hurt you put up walls so you don't get hurt again. Trust me I know the feeling

[that1guy19]

You let yourself get hurt. The fear is often worse than the actual act. You just gotta go for it sadly

[Cb142]

i dont know that you can you just have to have hope and give it a chance