I miss my boyfriend but he’s left me because I’m pregnant?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been with this guy for only 4 months so I get it’s moved quick a lot. I already feel really attached to the baby I’m only 3 months pregnant and I know its so soon but I just feel attached.

My boyfriend was so excited at first and he’s completely changed saying he wants nothing to do with the child ever, he said he will tell everyone I trapped him. He said if I don’t get rid of it he will leave me and never does to me again and that we will never see eye to eye and that he will end up resenting me for life and he swore on his sisters life he’d never ever see the child, I’m so heartbroken he was so happy at first I’m guessing now it’s getting even more real since I’ve moved into a flat and had my scans. He’s 26 and I’m 22, I really miss him. We haven’t spoken all day due to him calling me abusing me and shouting at me calling me an idiot and telling me I could never be capable of being a mom.

I know I sound ridiculous I just miss him and I know I can’t message him as he’s just going to keep asking me if I’ve made my decision yet and he’s said to just call him when I’ve made that decision.

I really care for the baby already and I know I’d be a great mom either way and the baby would be so so loved and I even just don’t do certain things because I care about the baby, I’m scared to even eat steak or I won’t dye my hair incase I hurt the baby. I just don’t know what to do.

he said it’s either him or the child and that I won’t get both and if I chose the child he’s changing his number and blocking me and moving to another city forever. I’m so heartbroken the only reason I’d get rid of it is because of him? He keeps shouting at me saying I’m a dickhead if I keep it. Do I just leave him and accept he won’t be in the kids life? I care about the child I just also care about him but I don’t want to get rid of a baby when iid be doing it for him and one day it might not even work out anyway.

Updates

1 y

I always feel to ask him what made him change his mind after so long but it’s just pointless he screams at me, he was so excited saying we’re gonna have a little boy and a family and he’s just completely changed

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult situation. It's important to prioritize your own emotional well-being and the well-being of your unborn child in this situation.

It's concerning that your boyfriend is pressuring you to get rid of the child and is resorting to abusive behavior to try to get his way. This behavior is not acceptable and it's important to set clear boundaries and prioritize your own needs and the needs of your child.

It's important to remember that you have the right to make decisions about your own body and your own future. If you feel that keeping the child is the best decision for you and your future, then it's important to stand by that decision and not let someone else pressure you into doing something you don't want to do.

It's possible that your boyfriend may come around and change his mind about being involved in the child's life. However, it's important to be prepared for the possibility that he may not and to prioritize your own emotional well-being and the well-being of your child.

Consider seeking support from a therapist or a trusted friend or family member during this difficult time. They can provide you with emotional support and help you navigate this challenging situation.

by the way, Never change or choose over no man who don’t want to be there and leave you high and dry especially when you’re pregnant because it’s you doing the heavy lifting and work while it’s easy for him to hit and walk away. You don’t deserve that, it’ll be a hard journey but you will make through and by with lord’s guidance. You’re a strong and smart woman and the valuable lesson is do what is right for yourself going forward … if he don’t want to be there for you now, don’t expect or allow him to be there later when you have your baby or when the baby grow up to wanna all of a sudden have a connection with your child because it sounds it’s either you or him which is fucked up and should never give you no ultimatum to make a choice. Your baby is your main priority and you’ll be good without him. Go forward, be strong and persevere, and you’re gonna make it by yourself. A real man will come and be there for you and be involved in your child’s life since the guy don’t want to be there if you abort the baby, you should never do that to keep no man. It’s your life and choice but make the right one.

There is a song called Keep Ya Head Up by Tupac and I think would help you with your situation for the message that goes out to all women in your situation I’m sure you will like it:

https://youtu.be/8V0cfqqRYSs

[spartan55]

Again, where do you girls find these complete piece of shit fuckheads? Then you let him knock you up... even better.

[Asker]

I met him through a friend and yes I regret it lol

[Brittanyroseee]

He changed because he realized that it’s not something he wants. Either way, he made it clear how he feels now and you have to be ready to be a single mom if you do choose to have the child. It takes 2 to make a baby. Either you should have been on birth control (unless you purposely stopped taking it), and he should have used a condom. So in all reality, it is BOTH your faults. You moved on too fast with this relationship. So if you want this baby, be ready to be a single, struggling mom with no support from him.

[Asker]

Yes I agree it was both our faults I was never on birth control although I told him that and he did carry on I did take the morning after pill which obviously didn’t work. Am I selfish for wanting the baby I wouldn’t even ask for help from him I don’t need it I’m financially stable enough on my own and paid for all the house and flat etc. but the only reason I’d want to get rid of it is because of him saying he’s suicidal if I have it and will hurt me and never speak to me again

[Brittanyroseee]

Then if you can financially and emotionally take care of another life on YOUR own, then do it.

[Brittanyroseee]

If i was in your situation girl i would have an abortion lol honestly but thats just me. I hate having other people’s baggage

[Anonymous]

You’re right, you two moved very quick and there was no time to really learn who he was as a person let alone if he’d be a good dad. Anyway, you can’t base such a big decision off whether or not he wants it. If you’re ready for motherhood and to do it on your own then the choice is yours. It won’t be easy and going into it you already know you can expect little involvement from him aside from child support and that can be handled in court. It is what it is though.

[ColHathi]

I can understand missing him, but if he's gonna change like that, it doesn't sound like there's any future wherein that isn't just gonna happen again. I imagine it would just lead to more abuse.

What a shitty situation. I hope everything works out for you somehow :/

[D4nielv]

Wait, just to confirm. You got pregnant within the first month of meeting him?

[Asker]

Yes! Which is crazy as I was on the pill which didn’t work. This is why I said to him I don’t expect him to be there because I’ve known him for a month but I don’t have it in me to get rid of the baby.

[D4nielv]

And what's happening now? I assume after your update and everything you're on your own with the child?

[Asker]

Well I’m only 3 months pregnant but he’s being very threatning saying he’s gonna hurt me and will kill himself and frame me and I’m in danger, I really want the child but I don’t know if I can with all this danger around me. I do move cities soon but for now I’m having to pretend I’m getting rid of it otherwise he’s gonna try and find me he said. I’m really attached to the baby but I’m starting to think if it’s more stress than good but I can’t bring myself to get rid of it as it was even hard for me to get pregnant.

[D4nielv]

Then maybe it's time to start thinking about just cutting the guy out of your life, if you really want to keep the baby and make your baby part of your life instead, because they seem mutually exclusive. And to be honest, a baby can be quite precious, while the guy seems incredibly toxic and a walking red flag, which -- even without a baby on the line -- would hardly be word a consideration.

[D4nielv]

Let me know if you want to talk some more in private about this. It sounds like you could use some support with all of this hitting you at once and I'd love to give it to you.

[Stevefiveo]

Yeah, you are in a bad situation. Your boyfriend is a self c

[Stevefiveo]

Self centered a hole. At this point, the decision is 100 up to you right now. Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten years? Etc. If you decide to have the baby, it is his loss that he never met his child. There is a slight chance that he will mellow out in the future and want to be a father but it is not known if that will happen. He showed his true self when he blocked you and calling you names. You don't want to spend a lifetime with a guy like that.

[Brittanyroseee]

Its not just his fault. She should have been on birth control too. What I don’t understand is, why do females complain after they get pregnant from a hook up, or someone they dated for such a short amount if time, knowing the guy wants nothing to do with the child?

[Brittanyroseee]

Both are at fault. Stop blaming just the guy. She is at fault too. Why are you have unprotected sex? Use birth control for christs sake and this stuff won’t happen as often lol

[Brittanyroseee]

Someone should ONLY have a baby, when they are married or in a long time commitment relationship where both partners have careers and are both financially able to care for a child. I don't know what is up with single moms popping out children and complaining lol.

[Asker]

@Brittanyroseee I’m not complaining. I already know the situation that he won’t be there. But him threatening to hurt me and come and hurt my family if I don’t get rid of it and physically touching me go go get an abortion I don’t think is right at all.

[Asker]

@Brittanyroseee he was the one who wanted the child at first and told me to keep it when I was going to get rid of it and said how excited he was

[Asker]

Yeah I get it we’re both at fault of course we aren’t even married and haven’t even experienced a lot of life together but I just don’t agree with him forcing me to get rid of it that’s all

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Oh well. Pursue child support.