Have you noticed that the East Asian and Western concepts of Love differ from each other?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

My only partner has been an exceptionally amazing Chinese man who I really loved and who really loved me as well.

However, from all the Chinese-Weatern Relationships I’ve heard it’s always the Chinese who broke up with them, everyone always told me that it’s because Chinese are opportunistic and not very romantic. I know it’s not a good idea to generalize, but when they see someone who can provide them better, they won’t stick by you in the name of love.

My ex fiance indeed loved me but in the end he left me and left me wondering, whether something that my European friend said about opportunism is actually right or not?

Because I can’t imagine any European or a western person who could love me as intensely as my ex fiancé did finally leave me as unceremoniously as my ex fiancé did. I feel like in the west we crave love, we appreciate and cherish it more than they do in the East.

In the East it seems to be something out of convenience and when it’s not convenient anymore, they don’t think it’s worth fixing or worth working on, they can just ditch it and move to the next convenient thing.

That’s why I am daily messaged and asked out by lots of married, taken Chinese or Western men here.

I was really surprised at first.

But today I had a conversation with an American man whose ex wife was Chinese and he said the exact same thing, he told me their relationship ended because the ex wife wanted an open relationship as its pretty common here in China and she didn’t find the marriage as interesting as before, so she decided to find another man who could provide her needs better. He said exact same word “Opportunistic” and it hit my mind.

Maybe Asian and Western concept of love really does differ?

Updates

1 y

I could sacrifice anything for love but in Asia, it doesn’t work this way. You must be an idiot to do so here. People marry out of convenience or the wish of their parents or the peer pressure. What do they really want though? I don’t know.

I think Asians are not as romantic as western people.

Updates

1 y

I don’t say this because I am angry at them, nope, I do love them, with their differences and similarities and my Chinese ex fiancé is the only man I’ve loved and he still holds a very big place in my heart.

it’s just I do wonder, have you noticed the differences between the western concept of love and Eastern concept of love?

[dynamicyandere]

I’m a Chinese American, and I’ve been more romantic than any of my partners.


I too, value love above everything else.


I’m a “hopeless romantic” that has always put a huge amount of effort into my relationships.


But, many people are not hopeless romantics, because that’s a quick and easy way to get heartbroken—because many people are afraid to love too hard.


The harder you love, the more it hurts when a relationship breaks. The sharper the sting if you are ever betrayed. The more your world is shaken when a relationship ends, because you invest so much of your heart into it.


So many people are not hopeless romantics, because it’s hard to remain that way.


Just like it’s difficult to remain kind if the world has been cruel towards you.


So, I think very romantic people are hard to come by in general.


But, perhaps in places where arranged marriages have been prevalent for a long time, have a more practical approach to relationships ingrained into their culture and society.


If practical marriages rather than love-driven marriages have been done for generations, maybe that still subconsciously lingers in the minds of people from those societies.


Thus, making hopeless romantics exceeding rare in places like that.


I grew up in the United States that has lot of books and media and movies that idealize or romanticize the idea of love.


Many men look at those ideal portrayals of love and say, “That’s not realistic.”


Whereas, I’ve looked at content like that and have believed, “I can love like that too.”


My SO told me that my love for her is more impressive than Noah’s love from the Notebook, haha. And that I’ve ruined fanfic for her because the way I love makes those fanfics feel so one-dimensional.


But, even though most people in general are not hopeless romantics, in western media there is probably more exposure to art and literature that introduces those ideas of love.


So there are perhaps more sources of inspiration for that kind of intense love + a society that romanticizes love-driven marriages + don’t have as much of a history of participating in arranged marriages, all contributes.


Because of the accumulated influences of art, literature, philosophy, history, and society within a country… I can see how certain countries may have more or less romantic people because of these societal influences present in the background.

[MementoMori777]

Nope I didn't know but I'll just take your word for it ig

[msc545]

I'm not really a student of love, sorry.