Girls, Girlfriend still friends (very very formally) with guy friend who likes her, red flag?

[mrwombo]

Have been dating her for two and half years, want to ask her to move in with me maybe i am scared which is why i am aggressively scanning for redflags before asking her.

College classmates, he his girlfriend (now ex), her (my girlfriend) were in some study groups, project groups etc due to similar classes/degree that is how they know each other. Now that guy had a girlfriend for the longest time, infact my girlfriend asked for his opinion and help while shopping for my birthday present (gaming gift that she had no idea about) he did not know it was for me by the way she doesn't really share much stuff with her friends anyways, not going too much into personal life unless she has known people for years sort of a introver that way. Same with her advising him what to gift his girlfriend on her birthday etc. These three also went shopping often

Now, this guy after breaking up with his girlfriend, asked my girlfriend out, which she flat out declined he sort of had some idea she likes me yet he asked that too 2 weeks after him and his girlfriend brokeup, anyways my girlfriend really didn't have much contact with him throughout the month and half long summer break. About two-three months pass we are back in college, this guy invites her to a house party, like everyone from their class was there, and asked her to bring me too.

My question is why was she still friends with him even though she know he likes her. Very formally though, they aren't friends now, after he said something nasty to her.

[PrettyPriya]

She is still friends because he is a friend. He asked her out and she said no. Story over. There is nothing to worry about unless you have insecurities yourself, which it sort of sounds like you do. Unless he made additional advances, then the issue is sorted and everyone moves on.

It doesn't mean they have to terminate a friendship. Is it awkward? Sure. So long as both can get past it and have some respect, it is not a problem. At least, it would not be a problem for me. My husbands best friend in the world from back home is a girl.

It doesn't bother me in the least. They talk on the phone about once a week and for a good while. Half the time I don't even know what they are talking about because I tune the conversation out.

Your girlfriend said no. You even say she flat out declined. Sounds like she did the right thing and you are still worrying about it. What I would like to know is if these two people are such formal friends, how did he not know she was with you?

[mrwombo]

"What I would like to know is if these two people are such formal friends, how did he not know she was with you?"

he sort of had a doubt she she never actually has disscussed about me with her or rather with any one of her female friends groups she hangs out with, but then very few people know about her personal life, she is way too introverted, the sort of things i know only her mom and just someone very close to us both know. Most of her friends are friends but dont know her true side as such or rather friends but on a limited surface.

[mrwombo]

to add to my previoud answer and to your question, she did not flat out decline, she declined in a very polite way saying i have somewhere else to be, he insisted on goign out but she said sorry i have to leave, i was waiting. But then she is very polite with everyone, but gets angry if someone keeps on insisting and not respecting her politeness. like super pissed.

[PrettyPriya]

Well, unless you have a reason to mistrust her, you shouldn't.

[mrwombo]

agreed

[Agape93]

If you trust her, don't worry about it. If you don't trust her, leave. Easy.

[mrwombo]

i do trust her. i think these are my insecurities with my parents broken marriage affecting me.

[Agape93]

Probably. Don't worry about it

[Anonymous]

the dude is stuck in the friend zone, majorly. very deeply. don't even worry about it... he's a friend... don't be insecure or paranoid, it's not attractive.

[Nikki1989]

A woman can have guy friends, unless you are insecure. I would never give up my male friends for any man.

[Eelif]

If there is no trust you should leave

[elizamichale1]

No its not